I’ve often prided myself in my ability to share openly about things I've gone through, things I've struggled with. But then I realized it was only because they were past tense. I am being open and honest, but about my then, not my now.
It's easier to share my weaknesses after I've strengthened them. It's safer to talk about my failures once I've bounced back from them.
But it's not really authenticity if it's after the fact.
Genuine authenticity is transparent and unguarded and vulnerable.
And while there is some level of that in sharing about past struggles, nothing is quite as authentic as sharing about current struggles.
No matter what else I do in this year of risking more, nothing will be as hard as the risks I take with my heart.
But they are risks I want to take.
I desire the intimacy and closeness that comes with true authenticity. I crave the matchless relational connection that's borne out of putting my heart on the line.
Even though it leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable.
I'm learning that with those I trust, I can be naked and unashamed.
So I'm stripping down and working on being more authentic in the moment.
And hoping the "unashamed" part will follow.