I am learning to live in the tension of uncertainty. To simply embrace it, rather than fight it. Because contending with it doesn't get me anywhere. It doesn't yield answers or bring clarity or cause lightbulb moments of understanding.
Because honestly, more often than not, there aren't really answers to be found or resolution to be sought.
God promised to redeem all things. He never said they'd make sense.
That's why He gives peace that surpasses our understanding. While there's a lot I will never understand, I can be anchored by peace even in the tumultuous seas of ambiguity.
God shines brightest in contradictions. There is wholeness in brokenness. Sufficiency in weakness. Strength in surrender. Honor in humility.
I've equally found Him to be ever-present in the contradictions of my life. Those moments and seasons that seem contrary to His character and inconsistent with where He'd been leading me. Those situations that pull the rug out from under me and even those that shatter my world and my heart.
He is right there with me in those painful, dark, confusing contradictions. Ever calling me to trust and to let go of my need to understand.
Faith and uncertainty can dance together.
Not canceling each other out, but also not at odds with each other. Both beautiful in their honesty and gut-level rawness. Lord, I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.
And so I am choosing to live in the tension of the contradictions, and to trust that He is redeeming even what will never make sense.
Because I know that redeeming what is hopelessly irreconcilable is His specialty...