worthy of my suffering
I want to live worthy of my suffering.
I know suffering is a pretty strong word, and maybe it seems too grandiose. Or melodramatic even. Then replace suffering with trials. They’re one and the same really.
He’s assigned me my portion, and I want to live worthy of all of it—the gifts as well as the trials.
Now I’m not saying that God causes me to suffer. I don’t believe He does. But I desire to steward well even that which He allows. And He makes it very clear that suffering and trials are an inescapable part of this life.
I want to live worthy of everything He entrusts into my care. I want to carry my suffering well.
I desire to face my lows with the same depth of character as I face my highs. I aspire to walk through the valleys with as much uprightness as I walk the mountaintops. I want my seasons of want to be as fruitful as my seasons of plenty.
To live worthy of my suffering means to carry my cross with humility, dignity, courage, and faith. I want to bear my suffering honorably. I don’t want to resent the refining process. I don’t want to scorn the fire in which my faith is tested; I only want my faith to be proven genuine. I long for Him to consider me faithful.
I want to show myself trustworthy.
Even with this.
Because living worthy of my suffering really means living worthy of His suffering.
@ventigrace says:
amen, amen, AMEN. Have I told you today that I’m proud of you??? I am. And I have a strong sense, that so is He. Love you…
woah. thank you, amers…
i love you.
@atangie says:
This could have easily turned into a ‘poor me’ post or even a ‘plea for pity’, but you did not take it that direction.
You are amazing.
This sentence made me go wow! I desire to face my lows with the same depth of character as I face my highs. Amen.
i hope i never write “poor me” posts.
thinking back, i may already have. hmph.
@danielleH says:
I dont think wants wants us to not be honest or vulnerable. I really think He’s okay with us having a hard time…as long as we bring those struggles to Him and strive to walk through them.
@atangie says:
Not that I can recall. Really. You may’ve been thinking along those lines as you wrote, but I can’t remember one pity post that you have written.
Even if you had (have), that is ok. No one is expecting perfection from you. I suppose I can’t speak for the entire human race. Better said, I am not expecting perfection from you.
@nateonamission says:
Simply amazing. I love, as the person above said, how you could have taken it one direction, but instead you went a whole different direction. I want to strive for this everyday. I wish I could say that when the Lord puts me through suffering that He is the first person I run to, and He takes care of all my needs. Alas, He is not. He needs to be. He needs to be the center of our lives. Nothing else matters except Him. Thanks Alece!
nowhere near there yet either, but i so want to be…
@traceepersiko says:
i am struggz finding the pure joy in the relentless part of my trials. but i have been thinking that i would rather feel the tension of wrestling and having trials then not. the tension tells me that i am not choosing complacency or just accepting life rather then fighting to know life only in Him.
someone sent me a song that includes the line “sing for your joy to come.” that is so hard for me right now. i’m struggling along with you to “endure for the joy set before me”. but you’re right. there is hope in that struggle, in that tension…
yes. luv. yes.
i’m so thankful for our convos that got me thinking about this to begin with!
got jugular?
great post…my question is do you blog with the door open too?
okay, the reference to my FB status made me laugh out loud.
come on. admit it. you do it too.
@nateonamission says:
I would never admit that on the web, oh wait. uhh. :)
you guys are cracking me up!
@coloraturajoy says:
I don’t want to resent the refining process. I don’t want to scorn the fire in which my faith is tested.
wow. that’s good stuff right there.
your journey is inspirational, alece.
and even though i don’t know what you’re going through…and honestly, i don’t even really know you…but i am so proud to see a sister take the strides that you’re taking. and i’m so glad i get to follow you and get all your words of wisdom along the way.
your southernness shines through with “sister”. i love it.
thanks for your encouraging words…
@cassgirl says:
The last paragraph choked me.
“I don’t want to resist the refining process”
Watching you inspires me.
i still catch myself resisting.
but i’m catching myself quicker.
@danielleH says:
Alece,
I am beyond blown away at your courage and resovle. Friend, I know it doesn’t feel like it…but this is “Grit and Glory Mostly glory” with how God is carrying you through, strengthing you to not just get dragged along this bumpy road but is refining your heart into something that is more strong and beautiful than it already was.
“mostly glory”?! wish i could see it better…
Oh Alece, to walk worthy of His calling and choosing…of His gospel…
…this has been my prayer for years. And I suppose I did follow-through with His plan of suffering for me…until…
You know, there are times in the valley when you come upon a plateau. You didn’t realize you were traveling upward, just walking the path as it led, feeling a bit stronger…then…all of the sudden the ground drops off once more.
You are standing before a precipice of suffering you never imagined could get deeper…a valley within the valley…but you must walk through it. There is no way around. His path leads straight down…a tumbling, a falling away…
…yet…even the darkness is not dark to Him…and so you walk through the darkness, not really seeing His light, hoping your foot hasn’t slipped from the worthy path…pushing through the briars when you’ve strayed…stumbling back, scraped, bruised, beaten by the path…but finding the way…His way…once again.
I desire to walk worthy. But I have stumbled in this valley within the valley.
He’s here, I know He is. It’s just a bit too dark to see right now.
But I will trust in His steadfast love…pressing forward, believing in His grace to endure the test…
…the trial…
…the suffering…
…it’s the only way to be proven genuine. Even when we appear to be fake, too much dross to see the beauty of His reflection, He’s still in the business of refining.
“In this world you will have trouble, but do not be afraid…I have overcome the world.”
From my view, you walk worthy. But even if you stumble, I know He’ll lead you back. He’s promised.
Love you.
i’m so sorry for your “valley within the valley”, michelle. i know how hard it is. thinking of you and trusting Him to hold you close.
this much i know: God is in the pain.
I don’t think suffering is a BIG ENOUGH word for where you’re at, friend.
Thankfully our God and His Glory will ever be BIGGER.
Amen and amen.
amen!
(two days!)
You have a gift for words, and great insight. Thanks for sharing it with us.
You clearly have your goal in sight, “living worthy of His suffering.”
Now keep moving forward until you reach that mountain top.
Suffering and trails are inescapable, but so is the joy in living. I guarantee it, and so does Jesus.
ed, you never cease to blow me away with your words. thank you…
Oh my. Oh my. The depth of your heart … the character … I can’t even describe how this makes me feel. Deeply challenged. Deeply respectful (of you). A little bit of awe. And truly … the refiner’s fire produces metals of great beauty. This … is beautiful. You are beautiful.
(Have I shared this with you lately? It’s one of my favorite passages, and this made me think of it.)
i love isaiah. and i’ve always loved that chapter. (had to memorize it in 9th grade bible class even!)
thank you, anneth.
Wow, really? In 9th grade?! I had to memorize a lot of Scripture when I was growing up too (invaluable now!) but found this passage ‘on my own’ as it were.
PS: have you received my e-mails? I didn’t necessarily need a reply, so it’s ok, but I don’t know if they’re going through properly. :/
I know little of your actual position in life, but your words hit home. I can see you living out 1 Peter 1:3-9.
A friend told me something that I think was a paraphrase of Elisabeth Eliott: “This life is the only time that we will worship in pain.”
If we can find joy in Jesus now, in our sufferings, how much more glorious will eternity be?
elisabeth elliot has been one of my heroes for a very long time. that woman has such rocksteady, unswerving faith… and has borne it well through some intense suffering.
Oh, me too.
I have, on my wall of doodles, the saying “Live a life worthy of your calling.” Sometimes we’re called to suffer… but if we live that right, we are given blessings we never imagined could come from it.
i’ve never ever seen anyone live worthy of their suffering as well as you do. i learn so much from you, fritz-friend.
I admire your conviction, Alece. It reminds me of someone I once knew, a man who had been considered quite tenacious for making sense of his own suffering, that he might be worthy of the many gifts God had given him. And, after a while, he realized his words could show others the value of their own suffering. I think that was back in January. These days, he has a lot of notes, but no coherence, no focus. Worst of all, no desire and no drive.
Of course, God is with him still. That, he knows. He can see Him in the kindness of his brothers and the wisdom of his sisters, the ones that have reached down into the pit–including the man who flew thousands of miles to bring him home to the emergency funds set up at his church that will, in just a short while, enable him to get professional help. He has never been physically hungry, nor has he ever lacked food or shelter. Grateful as he is, Solomon’s words echo fiercely still: “What is wrong cannot be made right. What is missing cannot be recovered.”
Much is wrong. Even more are missing. And every man has his limit.
I who speak to you am he.
God is in the pain.
Hold tight, Nor.
Wow, Alece. Amazing post. My mind has run along similar paths a few times lately, but there’s something about the way you stated this here…that we must be trustworthy in how we carry our trials and suffering…that really hits the nail on the head.
Be blessed!
how can we be worthy of our sufferings?
@gritandglory says:
cherie jean… welcome to the grit. i’m glad you spoke up. your question is exactly what i’ve been wrestling with in my own walk with God. and, for me, what i feel like i’m realizing is that to live worthy of my sufferings means to bear them honorably. to live with integrity and love even in the midst of deep pain. to seek to honor Him with my sorrows and trials as well as with my joys and victories.
what do you think??