thirteen: steps to counseling
I walked into the office with a red cup of non-alcoholic liquid courage in my hands and two people next to me for moral support (or maybe to make sure I didn’t turn and run). As I sat in the waiting area, I swear the pterodactyl-sized butterflies in my stomach had babies. I’d been anxious about this appointment since I boarded the way-too-small plane in DC, bound for Columbus. If I’m honest, I’d been anxious about this appointment since the moment I decided to come to America for this very reason.
He stepped into the waiting room to introduce himself and “collect” me. As we exited together, I turned my head for a last glance at my smiling friend. I heard again her words from not thirty minutes before: “I am so proud of you.” I smiled back and I’m sure it looked tentative and apprehensive. I don’t have a very good poker face.
It was thirteen steps from that door to the couch in his office where I found a seat and spent the next hour. For me, for whom trust is paramount and yet not easily given, it was a daunting thing to bare my soul to a complete stranger. And yet, at the same time, I felt completely comfortable. I walked out feeling like a weight had been lifted: the weight of simply starting this thing. And I felt proud of myself.
Hi. My name is Alece. I’m a missionary. And I go to counseling.
Hi, my name is Debra. I am a homemaker and I’ve done extensive counseling. And, I am proud of my blog friend, Alece, who is a missionary and going to counseling. God has done and is doing mighty things for His kingdom through Alece. He is preparing her. I can’t wait to see what He has in store! :) Love you Alece!
@ventigrace says:
I am so proud of you friend…
@danielleH says:
Alece, you are amazing.
I love that you used the word pterodactyl.
But mostly I love you and these steps you’ve taken.
Glory to God.
What a blessing to have such a friendship – someone who will be your support. Those rare friendships are a priceless lifeline in challenging times.
Baring your soul to a stranger IS a bit unnerving, but as you found, it somehow helps.
Also – being a missionary is an awesome calling, but I have never thought that people in ministry are completely capable of handling all life’s rapids without help. I am proud of you too – because you were not too proud or afraid to admit that you need a little help.
My name is Amy. I’m a christian, student,wife and mom, and I’ve been to counseling.
Oh Alece you brought tears to my eyes with that “Hi my names Alece” confession. After all aren’t we all in need of an introduction like that?
Hi my name is Faith, I’m a wife and mom and I’m at the end of my rope.
It doesn’t matter what your profession or calling is deep down we are all the same. In need of something. Love, Care, God… Attention.
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!! You are an amazing woman and I respect you even more for doing this for yourself and Niel.
LOVE YOU!
Hi, my name is papa, and I am praying for you – yes, papa has went to counseling as well.
I am so excited for you. This is going to be LEGENDARY!
@cassgirl says:
Hi! my name is Heidi
I am ministry leader I go to counseling twice a week.
13 steps into the office?
I have one long elevator ride and down. UCK
Proud of you? Incredibly so
HYH too!!!!
Hi. My name is Becca and I was forced into counseling as a freshmen in college. It was a bad experience at first, but I learned how liberating it was, even if I wasn’t one of those people who processed outwardly- it was the point of being heard…and being known by this complete stranger. She gave me hugs every single week, and I started to look forward to those hugs.
She challenged me, put a mirror in front of my face to try and show me all my black and white thinking. It took a year in South Africa for me to finally grab onto those truths.
Counseling started me on the path of healing.
You are amazing Alece!
You have counseled SO many people, and now it is your turn to experience what you have given to SO many!
Thank you. I miss you. I am proud of you. I love you!
@atangie says:
Whosever idea this was it was a good one. Your courage and honesty are admirable.
I read something last month that spoke to me enough that I wrote it down: “The broken heart is the healed heart, the way down is the way up, the stars shine most brightly and are seen at night.”
Thanks for being so real.
Praying for you.
Hi. My name is Christen. I’m a pastor’s wife. I went to counseling once. I wish I was going to counseling still.
Question: why is it that so many of us, esp. in ministry, have been, want to go, or need to go to counseling?
Anyone else think there’s a serious lack of true love in “Christianity?”
Alece-across the globe so many of us are ‘with’ you in this, praying for you and are here to support you. (and wishing we could be there too! in counseling I mean!)
I just love you so much friend. And I too, am so proud of you.
Isn’t it amazing how many people have been to counseling? I truly truly think that EVERYONE at some point in their lives needs it. We can’t get through this life without counseling of some sort, whether it be professional or just a good friend (like you’ve been to so many).
I’ve shared my counseling story with you before and so many here have shared too. Know that you are NOT alone friend.
Love you.
i feel so loved right now. thank you, friends.
Awesome. I hope you are so wrapped in every single thing He has for you right now. That red cup…I hope it is so much more then the representation of what you are saying…comfort and familiar.
you’re right. to me, right now more than ever, the red cups hold much more than my beloved chai or a holiday beverage. they hold comfort, home, warmth, peace.
odd, but true.
I just read all of these, so beautiful. You are loved.
Hi, My name is Theresa and I have a friend that is amazing. She is a Visionary, Missionary, Wife, Sister, Friend, Mentor, Teacher, Hugger, Laugher and she is Smart. She knows when to ask for help!
I am so PROUD of Her!! Keep it up we are all here for you but more importantly God is right there with you too. :)
(Sorry there I go again)
Wow……I loved your honesty on this post! Hugs….I know this is going to hard and so good at the same time!
Hugs to you Alece! It’s awesome that you are seeking help and walking with God through this time. He has so much for you! He is not finished with you yet and He has promised to finish the work He’s started!
Hi, my name is Kristen, and I’m a therapist who goes to counseling. A lot. :)
I always say it’s the higher functioning folks who seek help when they feel stuck. Good for you.
It’s already been done, but I’ll do it again…
Hi. My name is Michelle. I’m a mom and have been in and out of counseling for many years.
Life is hard and sometimes we need help to repair the damage. Many pressures from without, and within, can cause disillusions, anxieties, grief. I love that we have Christian counselors who have been trained to bear our burdens and not add to them with thoughtless feedback.
The strong people are the ones who recognize the need for help. God is good to give us one another.
I’m praying for you, Alece. Love you.
Hi, my name is Sara (gitz) :) and I went through 4 weeks inpatient treatment for anorexia. Welcome to counseling, friend.
I’m so proud of you. And you were so brave… when my friend went to counseling I had to go in with her the first two times before she could go in by herself. You already did great walking in on your own!!!!
you guys are so great!
I loved the last line. Hi, my name is Charlene and I am a missionary who thinks all missionaries (and people for that matter) need heart healing, prayer ministry (aka counseling)….
I am holding up your arms in prayer as you take the next steps…because as my picture says, “I am here, and I care” :)
@tamhodge says:
i am beaming right now.
proud is not a good enough word at the moment.
Would you believe I’ve never been to a counselor? I believe in them but just haven’t ever been to one.
I look forward to hearing more.
Oh my word, you people are amazing … isn’t this what God wants for us … love, support, friendship, transparency, grace, forgiveness … blessings overflowing … all little pieces of Him we share with on another and those who don’t know Him. My heart is full of joy at the reading.
I’m there in spirit hugging you and wishing you well, Beece!
char — “i’m here and i care.” that’s so original – i love it! ha! :)
debra — i know. i have been so blown away by the hug from God i’ve received through my blog family.
Go Alece! I’d hate to sound like the last 33 comments but I’m proud of you too!!
@moweezle says:
Sending love and a cyber hug your way today! You are not alone!
@coloraturajoy says:
yay counseling!
i’m proud of you too. it’s a big step. way to go, alece. :)
i love you aleceeee and i’m proud of you.
were all here to support you and to hold your hands, and to hold you up.
remember breathe, gooood coffee, goood tunes and just remember that this is the start of something amazing..i loveeee loveeee you dude.
Hi. My name is Mom. I’m a Missionary’s Mother. I’ve been to counseling.
I know what it took for you to make this decision. I know what it took for you to walk the 13 steps. Although so far away, I am with you every step of this journey.
I know the good that will come of all this.
Hi. My name is Mom. I’m a VERY PROUD Missionary’s Mother.
i’m so blown away by these messages that continue to stream in.
thank you, guys, for holding me up right now.
Praying for you. The next steps may be hard..but God is holding you. He loves you. Talking through things does amazing things! God can bring so much healing through that! Love ya!
I am proud of you … but I’m so glad that you feel good about it. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly, Alece. You encourage so many people.
Awesome for u alece. it takes courage to not only face issues, but even more to share the experiences. U touch lives when u become vulnerable and by doing so u allow others to also. Thank u.
wow.
WOW.
you guys have made my heart feel so loved. thank you.
yes, that was an intentionaly reminder for you of fun MSN times with your lovely staff! :)
.here.
So proud of you Alece! There seems to be a thought around that if you are in ministry you shouldn’t be in counseling. Scary thing, I know…the relief of being able to trust and say absolutely everything going on in your heart is so freeing. Bless you!
@mandythompson says:
I SO love you, you know…
really?
thanks.
@knights_lady says:
Hi. I’m Louise. I’m a pastor’s wife. I’ve been through patches of counseling. It made a huge difference to who I allow to be the voice in my head.
And underneath are the wonderful, comforting everlasting arms of our loving Father.
i can’t believe that you are THAT OCD that you actually COUNTED all 13 steps to the inside of their office!?? :-)
I’ve read your post on your OCD (it was one of the first i ever read of yours and here i am still – a year on ! ) and you are WAY overdue for counselling in MY opinion! ;-)
I bet your not even going to bring it up with them though – are you?
Tch! – i thought not.
If it really is the Thought that counts in this life.. then i think you’ll come through this an even better, wiser and ‘fuller’ human (loving) being than you were before you went ‘in’…
…and that would take some doing, believe me!
Please don’t forget one thing for me though…?
We all have Access to the Greatest Counsellor who knows us better than does anyone else – knows what is truly in our hearts. We owe it to Him to be honest enough to see what He sees in us.
All the Good – and all the bad! Accept that and move on to doing just a little ‘bettter each day – if we are able. Accepting that some days it is going to be easier to do that than at others.
He loves and forgives you – so should you! :-)
<B
Alece, we’re so proud of you for making the sacrifice to keep yourself and your marriage heading in the right direction. The fact that you’re willing to do that says so much about you.
Lisa and I will be joining you (well, not actually joining you there) with a week of counseling ourselves in January.
We’re continuing to keep you in prayer. God is going to use this time to do some amazing things in your life and marriage.
thank you…
@tamhodge says:
love you.
deep down i know it.