sometimes
September 21, 2008
I just wrote probably the hardest email I’ve ever had to write.
It was slow-going. I stared at the blank email box for a long time, trying hard to formulate words that could somehow capture my heart. I came up empty handed. I started with that admission and then basically mumbled and fumbled my way through it. More than ever before, I wished I could crawl through the internet and have a face-to-face conversation rather than responding in email form.
But I did it. I found words and I hit send.
Sometimes, being in leadership just sucks.
:( I’m so sorry. My heart feels the weight.
(I have to say – LOVE the nw banner. That is priceless!)
I don’t know what the email was about, nor do I need to know. I am just struck by the honesty and emotion in your words and offer a shoulder, however far away.
You’re right. Sometimes being in leadership does suck. Being a leader sucks. Standing up for something you know is right when everyone else around you is being quiet sucks, and is hard, uncomfortable. Great job for hitting send. For having courage. For trusting God.
I love you.
(I’m in the process of writing you a fatty email, but my homework is eating my lunch. So it should be in your inbox very soon! I loved all of my gifts. Thank you, friend. Thank you.)
Ooh. Ouch.
I hope you found what you needed to speak the truth in love. I’m sure whatever you had to say, you have earned the right to say and be heard.
Now leave it in God’s capable hands.
Praying for you!
leadership is a tough job. without leaders though, it would not have been possible for thrive africa to get off the ground. cathi and i are thankful for yours and niel’s leadership…even though, sometimes you feel like a lone ranger!
praying for you guys!!!
Oh Alece you are such a wonderful person! Here you are wishing to have this uncomfortable conversation in person. When I have had to have these I always prefer to do it via e mail so I don’t have to see the person and I have time to think over what I need to say rather than risk being taken over by emotion. Or if e mail is too cold I will always try to do it over the phone. I once broke up with a boyfriend via e mail because I was afraid if I heard his voice I might stat crying and put it off till later! You are an awesome leader and this really shows your amazing heart for wanting to do it face to face. Something I never have the courage to do! You are wonderful!
oh and I will be praying that it is received well with an understanding heart.
*sigh*
The only leadership I know about is leadership at home, with the boys. I couldn’t imagine doing what you do, being “in charge” of so many things and people.
I wish there was something I could do to help you. I love you friend.
@atangie says:
And here is me wishing I could crawl through the internet to give you a sincere rub on your shoulder and tell you well done – and then take you out for a Snapple.
@cassgirl says:
Remember the feeling of holding Nkosi, his smile, his smell, his triumphs, and his refusal to let you go?
That is why YOU chose to be a leader.
Today sucked… but there are many tomorrows…
Know that if I could I would reach through my laptop and hold you..
Praying!!!
my pastor’s wife always says that her treasure in heaven will be that she doesn’t have to LEAD anything. =)
@ @ngie: snapple. heehee LOL!
:hug:
That’s all the words I have for you.
I could not agree more.
@danielleH says:
I’m so sorry. Shoot me a not so painful email if you want to chat. Love you. Love you.
@20BOLD11 says:
Leece~I think about Jesus and how unpopular He was. Man. They gave Him a hard time, didn’t they? He knows your pain and praise Him that He gives you the strength and peace to do what He has called you to do. I know it doesn’t make the present pain any easier but I pray that He will comfort you with His presence and the promise that all things work together for your good. I love you.
I am praying for your peace. It sucks to be the leader sometimes.
Love the boy at the top. He is the reason you do what you do?? I am thinking yes!!
I really liked your comment Heidi….so true for every area of life. The reasons we perservere wherever God has called us to serve whether it is in Africa or as a mom in Ohio. The love recieved and changes lives we get to be a part of…
Sometimes, being in leadership just sucks.
Call me crazy ( ok, maybe not THAT loudly! ) ;-) … but i rather fancy Jesus Himself may have been forgiven for having that exact same thought.
Not that i think He usually felt THAT sorry for his role in this life.
We are supposed to do the right thing – not just what makes us feel ‘good’.
it’s not about ‘us’ – it’s about Love – real Love.
Love can hurt our ego from time to time. it does what is necessary anyway, and knows better than to feel sorry for doing so.
I guess maybe you’re just being human for a moment, huh? ;-)
Probably was a major bummer it had to be an e-mail though – that’s one problem Christ never had to deal with, or be accountable for.
As Heidi made clear… leadership has compensations for the responsibilities – see if you are up to the task of treating both ‘equally’.
Rudyard Kipling Had it right when he said…
…’If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;… ‘
‘If…” Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
<B
Walk down the hall or pick up the phone and face your responsibility directly. Hiding behind email for interpersonal relations that are “hard” make terrible leaders.
@bernardshuford says:
I would never dare presume that I know anywhere near enough about Alece’s situation here to tell her she’s a terrible leader. Good grief.
annie — thank you, friend…
beady — your comment meant a lot coming from a complete stranger. thanks for reaching through the blogosphere…
becca — i appreciate you more than you know. (i’m so glad! i wondered, you know…)
quy — thanks for the prayers. sincerely.
mark — i always appreciate your encouragement. today is no exception. thanks.
faith — thankfully it wasn’t a confrontation but an apology for a broken heart… thanks for praying.
bran muffin — your love is plenty!
@ngie — don’t you wish internet-travel was possible!?!? (thanks, friend!)
heidi — your comment was so… so… perfect. thank you!
sarah — i am going to remember that one!
roo — that hug is GREAT.
cindy — i figured you knew exactly what i was talking about.
ayles — “all things work together for good” – thank you for that reminder!
theresa — he is one of the reasons, yes. thanks for reminding me of that fact.
charlene — amen!
mr. love — i’m not there yet, but i’m trying…
perry — i never said i was a great leader…
bernard — thanks for the “defense”. (i just heard in my brain: D-FENSE. D-FENSE.)
@bernardshuford says:
Missionaries have a lot of JUNK to deal with anyway; you need our support in every imaginable way. I just have very little tolerance these days for attacks, even when disagreement is justified. Hang in there. :)
wow. yes, indeed. thank you.
thank you, thank you, thank you!
@atangie says:
Beam me up, Alece-y!
That Bernard is a really nice guy. and, for some reason, the name Perry Glasser looks very familiar to me. You know him?
Personally I think that you are a terribly great leader doing the darn best that you know how to do.
WOW. Mr Glasser didn’t leave a link.
Why is it that all blog bullies NEVER leave links?
shame. ;-)
wow, @ngie, thanks. and no… i don’t know mr. linkless perry glasser. his name seems familiar, eh?!
brandy, i like that you used the phrase “blog bullies” AND that you said “shame”. hee hee!
@atangie says:
You know what I have to say about blog bullies? Quack, quack!
aflac?
don’t you hate knowing people like that are lurking around your blog. heebie jeebies.
it is a bit odd…
@atangie says:
are we playing bunkum jabberwacky…? :-)
Like a duck
water off a duck’s back
Quack, quack!
:-)
@atangie says:
Oh man, my 4:30 showed up. Gotta run! Catch ya’ round. :-)
aaaah! GOT IT! :-)
thanks for the fun, friend!
her 4:30? What exactly does @ngie do?
she’s a missionary… and i’m not totally sure what she meant by “her 4:30″… i assumed just a meeting or something!?!?
http://www.perryglasser.com/
http://w3.salemstate.edu/~pglasser/
http://lifeline2211.user.groupee.com/displaycontent/content/74879986298814173
http://www.missourireview.com/content/dynamic/author_detail.php?author_id=824
hmmmmmmm????
I thought she was a missionary but then the 4:30 threw me! For some reason I instantly pictured Phoebe Bouffet with her massage table. :/ ha!!
you pictured phoebe!?!? ha ha ha ha!
and you did some serious research on mr. glasser!
all it took was one search and up he popped. there was a ton.
and yes, I TOTALLY pictured phoebe. It was like an involuntary flash. haha!!
the one. the only!
HA!!
Okay, what chaps my hide is that you CLEARLY stated you would have done it in person if you could have. How would Mr. Glasser know that this person wasn’t in America? And is it so easy to call over here from other there? Why is a well thought out email frowned upon?
I hate blog bullies. They annoy me.
hmph.
thanks, friend.
hmph is right.
love you friend
@cassgirl says:
Hmph!!
I still cannot cannot comment Christianly.
I am still so ticked!!!
@atangie says:
Brandy! I am honored! Phoebe Bouffet is my favorite on Friends. :-)
Y’all didn’t know I was a masseuse on the side? (wink) A missionary masseuse. hee hee hee
It was a 4:30 counseling session. Not my forte; one of those ‘have to’ things.
Coming in late to the party….I am offering my services…Brandy dug up the info….
Hey Heidi, You want to go be and ENFORCER with me???
We could be like -
Starsky and Hutch
Ponch and John
Bo and Luke duke
Cagney and Lacey
Wilma and Betty
We could give Mr. Perry Man a breakdown of how things are around here with they mess with our friends. Come on it would be great fun….We would have to video it for Alece, @ngie and Brandy though.
:)
Smile all….Jesus will get him for us!!!
Love you Alece!! You are a great leader just because you don’t brag about how awesome you are….. Because you know it isn’t you….It is HIM Through YOU.
This is one of Perry Glassers current projects….
Based On True Events: A Course of Study for the Hideously Bored -
Short stories from a truly warped imagination:
a man becomes a moose, Satan shows up at Gambler’s Anonymous, a Midterm Test for the casual reader, a car marathon and 9 more …
theresa — i didn’t mind perry’s comment so much, but thanks for getting all riled up in my defense!
@cassgirl says:
Dear Perry,
My friend Alece was not only be vulnerable, she was seeking support maybe even prayer over a difficult email that she so obediently wrote.
I admire her more this week than I have ever have before. She has encouraged me to lead with integrity and wisdom and courage.
I’m not here to put my fists in the air and start a battle. I am not about that.
I would go to the ends of the earth to protect and love on Alece, but I refuse to stoop to your level Perry.
Today I prayed for you
Just kindly keep your opinions on your own blog, allow US friends get through this moment.
Thank you
Heidi
thank you, heidi.
I prayed for you and for Mr. Perry.
I wasn’t riled too much. I just really wanted Heidi to pick Wilma and Betty. I wanted to be Betty. I always liked her blue dress. ;)
Leadership is hard. I really dislike it when I have to be at the forefront of the leadership role.
Having a lot of Human Resource/Employment Management experience. I can relate to dealing with rough leadership decisions.
leadership is hard. i love sarah’s comment up there, and will adapt that saying into my vocab: my reward in heaven will be NOT having to lead anything!