something crazy
I was reading again tonight about Elijah and Elisha, and I can’t shake this piece of the story:
Elisha was plowing a field with some oxen when Elijah found him. He was hard at work, doing what he was trained (and skilled) to do. I imagine that this day looked pretty similar to so many days before it. Farming is monotonous but grueling work.
Then Elijah walked right across the field and wrapped his cloak around Elisha, symbolicly passing on his ministry anointing. And in that moment, Elisha made a decision.
He chose to leave behind the comfortable and familiar to obediently follow God’s call.
He knew it wasn’t an easy decision. He was choosing the hard.
He knew that there would be tough days when he’d long for the back-breaking labor of farming. He knew he’d be tempted to return to his old life. So he did something drastic. Something crazy.
He sacrificed his oxen.
Elisha broke apart his wooden plow, set it on fire, and cooked his cattle.
He didn’t want turning back to even be an option, so he made a bonfire out of his former life.
He gave himself nothing to return to. No plan B. Nothing to “fall back on” except risky faith in a faithful God.
Reminds me of Peter.
When Jesus was killed, Peter’s future turned into a giant question mark. He couldn’t make sense of a crucified Messiah. So he went back to what he was doing before he’d started following Christ. He went back to fishing.
Reminds me of me.
When my faith wavers, when difficult turns to impossible, when I have no idea what God is up to… I’m tempted to turn back.
I’m inclined to go back to my old way of thinking, my former plans, my loosely-held hope. I once again long for the comfortable and familiar. I want to return to something I understand. Something I can “control”.
So I need to do something drastic.
Something crazy.
I need to build a bonfire.
I often read and don’t comment…who knows why but tonight…..
I just finished reading Donald Miller’s book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years last week and came away thinking the same thing. I needed, even wanted, to do something drastic. Something crazy. Yet the familiar still calls to me…the old life is so comfortable. So worn in and cozy at just the right spots.
You have stirred my heart tonight with your words and the story from the Word about Elisha. In fact that is twice in the past few days I have read something about Elisha and the choice He made.
He is speaking…I need to be listening.
Thanks for the challenge Alece. May your bonfire be started so you can stop turning back.
Now I am off to pray about my own little…or erhm….big bonfire.
@nateonamission says:
AMEN! I so love this post.
Thank you. I needed to read that this morning. X
I love the way you tell stories from them Bible Times. Have I ever told you that?
I never realized Peter went back to fishing. That makes me wanna dig into John even more.
Thank you for the incredibly inspiring reading.
@greenenough4me says:
I read this on my phone this morning. Hubby had just left for PT and here in Germany, it’s daylight at 0545 so I couldn’t go back to sleep.
I think I read it 3 times before I put my down. It’s too hard to comment on my phone… I hate the small keyboard… so I just laid there thinking about your words, about the story, and about the comfortable place I’m at right now.
It wasn’t that long ago, that this country wasn’t comfortable. It was my bonfire. And oh, was it ever blazing.
And now? The house stays a mess, and I don’t laugh as often. And I yell too much.
And I hide from friends, from my husband… from living.
Somehow, I’ve lost me, and found comfort in nothing.
Depression is my excuse. It’s not just an excuse, it’s real… At first, it was scary and lonely… And then I grew comfortable with it… It’s a world I can escape to and not have to feel anything….
I needed to hear this today.
I need to hear this everyday….
I want to light my bonfire again… But first, I gotta find some wood….
@ChinaKat79 says:
Sidnie,
I know what it is like to be depressed in another country, and have the temptation to just want to climb into bed and never come out. I know what it feels like to feel like you have lost yourself, your joy, your laughter, and wonder if it will ever come back.
IT WILL. God will bring it back, often when you least expect it.
I will be praying for you and that God will light your bonfire again!!
@mjdagenhart says:
Thank you for hitting ‘publish.’
@LindseyHartz says:
Oh Alece~
Your’e speaking my heart!
Here’s to finding the strength to build and set fire to the biggest bonfire EVER!
Now if I could just find that cloak… :-)
What an encouraging, and challenging post. I have been thinking of late about what it means to radically follow Jesus. To really drop nets. To break the cycle of conveyor-belt faith. To step off the edge, into the water, or into the great big scary unknown and uncontrollable.
My grandaddy used to say, “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.” I reckon that can apply to our faith, as well. :)
Thanks for this post and the encouragement to go for the
big Christ-following.
@moweezle says:
ohhhh so true and such a good reminder. When I’m tempted to quit and go back to my old life, I often think to myself, but I have nothing to go back to. (it helps that I really don’t) Love this post, Alece!!!
this really is so on point today alece (like everday isnt!). its really challenging as well.
i guess my question would be, if your plan b really isnt a particular place or activity, but a way of thinking, how do you destroy that? how do you burn up a thought pattern?
im thinking that spiritual disciplines could help in this area. like a way of training so that we get in the habit of doing something else. i’m currently reading “The LIfe You’ve Always Wanted” by John Ortberg and it has some pretty good lessons and exercises about lifestyle changes to make Christ the center of our worlds. but i’m still trying to piece this all together.
i pray that God reveals it to both of us!
and once we DO get a bonfire, it would be nice to roast some marshmallows ^_^
love.
Oh that’s a good point – I need to think on that one… thanks Christina for bringing it up
@gritandglory says:
while i know it’s easier said than done, i keep thinking of romans 12:2 — “do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
in so many ways, my thinking conforms to the patterns of this world — the patterns of worry, fear, self-sufficiency, control… “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” i need to create new patterns of thinking by wallpapering my mind with His Word. replacing the lies with truth.
i need to seek His face more than i seek His hand. i need to purposefully aim to connect with His heart, get to know and understand His character.
so to me, the “burning up a thought pattern” starts with calling out that ungodly way of thinking when it comes up. recognizing it for what it is, and in that moment making the choice–and declaration–to toss it in the fire. seeking out a truth to dwell on in its place.
been thinking about this more? i’d love to hear any other thoughts you have on what this might look like practically for us both.
I’m often working on taking every thought captive and making it bow down to the Lord. Satan knows exactly what thoughts to plant in my head and I find myself often saying outloud, “SHUT UP!” And, I also ask myself, is this condemnation or conviction, because if it’s condemnation, it’s not from God. I believe taking our thoughts captive is a lifelong process. Filling my mind with God’s truth! And, Alece, that is so true … get to know and understand His character. Exactly.
@JewelzSightings says:
When I hear that verse, Alece it takes on a different meaning to me these days than it used to. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world”…. I am not of this world. I’m beginning to “get” that. I am Christ in Julie. I’m convinced there are two stories written on my life. One is the story that sin and shame have told. The other is the story Christ has written. One is the story of the old man. The other is the story of the new man. “But be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”…
As I take this old story to Jesus and ask Him what’s the truest thing about me, He tells me the true story, the one He wrote about me…. It transforms my mind. The truth sets me free. I still can’t get over the fact that even on my worst day I am the righteousness of Christ. I have His mind. His Spirit lives in me. We are interwoven together so beautifully that you cannot tell where one begins and the other ends. That’s the story I want to live in. I am learning how.
Wow. This kicked my butt. There were some FAITH FILLED people in the Bible, and following in their footsteps can seem daunting. But then I remember, ‘the same power that CONQUERED THE GRAVE lives in me…’ Mmm.
You should know that yesterday I was super burdened to pray for you, like more than usual.
Wow.
This is a youth that a friend and I have been discussing. When God calls us tondo something or makes a promised, He expects us to hold on in faith even when the way is hard. Plan B = leaning to our own understanding. He tells us to be not entagled with the same bondage that once held us captive…,I.e. Thoughts, habits, mindsets. This post is timely for me b/c right now I’d like nothing more than to leave California and move back to Michigan where things were much easier & familiar. But Gods plan is for my family to be in California for a purpose that has not yet been revealed. Gods ways aren’t always easy or comfortable , but they’re always best & right. *sigh* see you at the bonfire :)
Can I throw a few things into your bonfire too of my own friend? I think I need to too… sigh
I just started following you because the “campus” people were all “a-twitter” about you :) Glad I did and glad you published. Inspired to light my bonfire today! Thanks!
Alece, I’m fairly new to your blog (been reading for a couple of months) and wanted to introduce myself. Thank you especially for this post…wow. what an encouragement – it spoke straight to my heart. Never looked at that story quite like that before. :)
lovelovelove.
I can’t find the right words to explain what this post meant to me when I read it. so I won’t try; I’ll hope that my speechlessness alone says what I simply can’t.
You are right Alece. You need to place yourself in a situation where the only way to go is forward. I had to do it when I went into full-time ministry because my family was very much against that. As hard as it is to do it at first – it is the most liberating feeling ever to know that you no longer have an option – you have set your heart upon following the direction of the Lord and there’s nothing for you to go back to even when you’re tempted to.
Go build that bonfire!!! And make it burn high!!!
this is beautiful, Alece
@traceepersiko says:
I love this post, SF! Dang, I love your heart. Can’t seem to say that enough today. I’m challenged to think about what I return to and what I’m being “anointed” to do. I want bonfire faith!
@cassgirl says:
A bonfire! Wow what a picture this puts in my heart today… thank you
@sonsti7 says:
I love just that story. Can just picture Elijah walking through freshly plowed rows of dirt; Messing up those perfectly manicured rows of soil that Elisha had no doubt been working on for hours and upon arriving in front of this man — with absolute certainty, throwing that cloak over Elisha’s shoulders.
@Melissa_Rae says:
Love this Alece! Lately I’ve been comparing how I lived before kids to how I live now. Before I was much more open to any radically idea I thought God might be doing. Now I feel like I’m much more cautious. This doesn’t make sense though, because God is the same God and just as able to provide for the 6 of us as He was for just my husband and me. I’m feeling inspired to boldly step out into God’s will and have only Him to fall back on.
@tamhodge says:
this post has rendered me speechless.
@mat2820b says:
mmhmm.
wow. thanks for the stomach punch.
Ouch!
@mat2820b says:
This?
YES.
thank you. dang.
Wow!! I loved this post. I recently moved from Dallas to Portland and I have to say that I don’t know that I could have built the bonfire. Thankfully, God was faithful in tearing down anything that would have held me there. He took away my job, church positions, and so many other things. I go back in a couple weeks to visit and I can see that I need to be prepared to build that bonfire if God asks that of me!! Great post!!
@PrudyChick says:
Bringing my own wood and sacrifice. Romans 12:1 – I urge you to be living sacrifices. Pretty much every day we have to sacrifice all that crap turning to Him as our only option.
@dg4G says:
Thing is, I (we) thought we’d built a bonfire.
I’m not sure everything that needs to burn has been thrown in though…
I’m bringing the marshmallows. Because whatever you set ablaze, I’m going to be celebrating with you what is to come. I believe in you because I believe in Him. And He is doing beautiful things with your ashes.
Light it up, friend. Light it up.
I’m with you Sara! I’ll bring the chocolate and graham crackers! :)
Wow Alece…God so wanted me to read this today. You have no idea the conflict in my head and heart today. Looks like I’ve got a bonfire to burn too.
thanks for this alece.
sometimes it seems like i build a bonfire….again and again, day after day.
For those of us who follow your blog in support of Thrive, this post has raised an important question: Is this your way of saying that you will not be returning to run Thrive?…
@gritandglory says:
No! Not at all!
That’s good to hear…very good to hear. For anyone who may be contemplating a church trip, what does you timeline look like for when you will be returning to Africa?
I’m guessing Alece is pounding the pavement here in America and raising lots of funds to send back to South Africa to keep Thrive alive. Someone has to do that not so fun thing called fund-raising. But I too have been wondering when she will return to the helm of Thrive.
Personally, I commend you, Alece, for taking the time you need for you. Go to it. If it takes 10 years, I’ll still be behind you.
@mat2820b says:
That’s what I love so much about this age of technology :) Alece can still be at the helm of Thrive, no matter where she is. It’s not like she’s holidaying.. she’s workin HARD ;)
Plus blogging takes up a lot of time too. We would all dearly miss it if she stopped doing The Grit.
@gritandglory says:
i don’t have a date set for my return yet, but that has no bearing on our hosting of mission teams. we have teams coming through thrive all the time, and i can connect you with the right person if you’d like to dialogue more about what that could look like. God is good, and the ministry continues to grow. absolutely amazing seeing the lives that are impacted everyday through what He’s doing at thrive — and i’m humbled to be a part of it all!
@MelaKamin says:
fantastic – was just thinking yesterday how it’s so hard to do this ministry stuff and the kids need so much and maybe I shouldn’t have started down this road … and … and … and
glad I clicked over to see this – I made the decision to move forward boldly – time to build my own bonfire and leave the past in the ashes
Again, always, you inspire me!!
i’m often tempted to turn back even though my road hasn’t really been that spikey. it’s hard to wipe out the other options. i mean, i like me some closure…but closure by bonfire… feels risky.
The bigger the bonfire, the more outta control the flames are. The more outta control the flames are, the bigger the potential for destruction. fire has the potential to be like dominoes…knock one down, it starts of sequence of 50 others being knocked down, each by the one behind it. that’s risky. but God’s future for us is worth the risk of knocking down all the other options and then some.
wow how true! thank you for your honesty and being real…this really rings true with me.
“He didn’t want turning back to even be an option, so he made a bonfire out of his former life.” “I need to build a bonfire.”
No words. Praying.
@kamriereed says:
This is great. You are exactly righ. We all need to prevent ourselves from going back to our old way for comfort. The big question is how do we do this in our own situation? Sometimes I think God makes the sacrifice for us but other times we do it unknowingly. Thanks for the realization.
Okay, I SO LOVE the reminder about Elijah/Elisha … wow! That just knocked my sox off today. I’m thinking this blog post is going in my journal and I’ll be chewing on it for awhile. What do I need to burn?
Love you and all that God is doing in you and all that He is doing through you. You are AMAZING!
Wow. So … you gonna? (What would that look like, exactly?)
PS: I was listening to this while reading your post. Kinda fits. Or in my world. :)
@kedamak says:
This was so good. Words fail to describe the thoughts in my head so I’m gonna go with Jenni and Crystal’s responses – Dang & Ouch
I’ve brashly said as Peter did, ‘I will follow you where ever you go.”
And I’ve also been ready to back away from the unknown and back to the comfortable. What scares me right now is I did burn my plow. Fresh out of college, and I did not apply for a single job in physical education in my current community. Instead, I have applied and been rejected time after time for jobs teaching ESL in South Korea. I went this route because it is where Jesus lead my heart. Day after day, I trusted that as crazy as my family thought I was, that He both directs my heart and my path.
Today, I got an interview. Which is likely to happen next week…on my birthday… There’s some timing for you.
I wish I could explain in a comment the expanse of how God has taken ahold of me in the last six months. The situations that would have had me mentally and emotionally tied in knots, I have found the grace and peace of God in increasing measure. The moments where there was no other answer but to trust in a loving, powerful, and sovereign God. I wouldn’t go back to the place I was before. The cost doesn’t compare to the intimacy I’ve found.
i agree with you alece. . .i feel like my journey has consisted of a lot of choosing the hard, even though the hard is what is wise. i think that is something they forgot to tell us in sunday school when we were growing up. i have lots of memories of a ‘warm and fuzzy Jesus’ but i don’t remember about hearing about the difficult aspects of the christian walk until middle school. and i don’t even know if talking more about the ‘hard’ that would come in a walk of reckless abandonment to Christ could have ever prepared me for what the reality of walking it out is like.
right now, with all the pain, hurt, and seemingly ‘hopelessness’ in my circumstance the ‘hard’ of walking out the Lord’s calling is front and center for me. is it easy to trust the Lord when in one flail swoop all of your dreams have been shattered? no. it is unbelievably hard. is it hard to believe that the vision the Lord has given me ((that it is His will for my ex-fiance and i to be married)) is possible given the current state of my ex-fiance’s heart? absolutely. but i am not willing to turn back. i have decided — even on the bleakest days — that i am going with Jesus. . .all the way.
thanks for this awesome post alece. i have been chewing on it all day. it was so encouraging to me in a moment when the Enemy is doing all he can possibly do to get me to turn back. . .
@JewelzSightings says:
LS, I’m so sorry for your pain. A little over a month ago, my daughter’s wedding was cancelled when her fiance suddenly called the whole thing off. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions for her… and as her mother, for me. I am constantly aware of how God allows me to see Him in my everyday life. I ache for my daughter… as I have watched her hurt. It gives me a small glimpse of how He must ache for me. I long to comfort my daughter. I can see how He longs to comfort me…. I pray you will feel the nearness of His Spirit today.
He is there, He is comfort. He aches to hold you close!
hey julie,
i found your daughter’s blog ((through yours)) and i would love to exchange emails and i would just tell her, ” i get it” and i would love to hear the same thing from someone who does. god bless. . .
LS
@JewelzSightings says:
I’m sure she’d love to hear from you, LS… Did you reply to her blog? Leave her a note there and she will get it.
Thank you!
julie. . .i did leave a comment on one of her posts — i just read them all and i accidentally commented on an older post. . .please please pass on that i praying for her. . .
LS
@JewelzSightings says:
LS, I will pass it along to her… Thank you… She said if you want to comment on her new post she’ll find you. Thanks again!
@JewelzSightings says:
PS. I’d love to be able to view your blog if it’s open. My blog address is: http://jewelsightings.blogspot.com... You can find my email address on my profile page…
julie. . .i will be happy to add your email to those who can view my blog. . .i cannot find your email on your profile. . .i have left my email on the comment i just posted on hannah’s blog. . .i will go comment on your “about me” section with it right now, but please delete the comment as soon as you get it and go ahead and shoot me an email. . .
@LindseyHartz says:
Oh no Julie!!! How did I miss this? Will be praying for your sweet daughter and your family! xoxo
Awesome post, and so timely. We just built our bonfire… nice to know we’re not the only crazy ones!
@coloraturajoy says:
Tonight, I bawled my eyes out over the fact that I am placing my sacrifice on the altar. My voice: My comfort. My life and my livelihood.
…and then I come and read this.
Alece, I just don’t know if I can make a bonfire of my previous plans yet. I am trying to have this level of faith. I am. But when I have nothing tangible to set aflame, my heart struggles with the solid finality of the decision. I’m wrestling with finding understanding in the fact that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Building my bonfire would mean building it to burn everything I have felt that God has built inside of me, that He, himself, has given me. I can only hope that what I think is a “bonfire” altar will turn out to be more of an “Isaac” altar. But if, in the end, it’s only a bonfire altar, I choose to love God more than my sacrifice.
@coloraturajoy says:
Thanks for letting me spill my thoughts on your comments. I needed that. I’ve been trying to post about something similar for awhile now, and getting my thoughts together helped so much.
(And thanks for the conviction….) =)
Great post. And “to build a bonfire” is such a great way to remind ourselves that God does not call us to complacency, but to make a radical difference for Him.
Thanks for sharing your journey.
No bonfire. Just a flood.
Changed everything.
And then some.
@ChinaKat79 says:
Thanks so much for this awesome post, Alece. You have such a gift of writing and putting so many of our thoughts into beautiful words. Even though I do not post very often, I have been following your story, life & ministry and you are an inspiration. Thank you for allowing God to continue to lead your life and be an example to us all.
I can relate to this in the way that I have been in China for 11 months now and know my life will never be the same. I originally only committed to a year commitment, but my heart is here. I’m invested. These wonderful people are my family and my friends. I am attached and have no idea how you ever leave something like this.
I also desperately miss my family, friends, and ministry back home in Texas and feel so far removed from them.
I feel pulled and blessed all at the same time.
It is a strange place to be. Their lives have continued and this feels like a whole other world. One I have fallen in love with. God has definitely worked in me over the last 11 months in ways I cannot even explain. Life will never be the same. I am not the same. My relationship with God is not the same, and I am thankful for that.
I left a job that I enjoyed, but was killing my physically, spiritually & emotionally; and I was being stabbed in the back by “Christians” I worked with who were challenging my integrity. I had been searching for a job for 2 years, had to move back home & my stuff has been in storage for 3 years. It was a frustrating time as I wasn’t sure if God was doing anything or if there was a plan…when the whole time He was preparing me for China. I never imagined how much it would change me.
Now…I know I cannot go back to a mundane life. I have seen God’s plan for me when I leap into His arms and trust Him to walk into the unknown, knowing He is there but not knowing what is next. It’s scary, it’s challenging, and it’s often hard…but totally, completely, and absolutely worth it and a tremendous blessing. Something I had prayed about for many, many years…and now I am here…yet often still do not feel like I am doing enough. I imagine that may always be a struggle.
Anyway, I’ve written a book now :) I have had these thoughts floating around in my heart and head for a few days now, and guess I needed to put them down. Thanks for the space and thanks for sharing your heart.
Blessings on you as you continue this journey!
@atangie says:
You and your prophets, sister. ;) I wonder what his neighbors were thinking… I suppose he didn’t care so much. I am so proud of you for making the risky choices, Alece!
Reminds me of this story (but bear with, because I will not remember all of the particulars). There was a was going on, back in the days when people approached other lands on ships. The conquistador (I remember that part b/c I love the word conquistador) who was leading this one particular fleet, when they arrived on the new land in order to conquer it and make it their new home, he burned the ships. No turning back. Same concept. I love it. Now I just need to determine what my “ships” are.
@hannahruthie says:
This post was so personal. I read it right after you posted, but felt so overwhelmed with, “God just tugged my heart again and I’m not ready,” that I didn’t reply.
This story is one that I go back to all the time. I can’t believe Elisha just left everything. But he didn’t leave it so that he could come back to it later. He built that bonfire like you said. I want my life to be like this, but I wrestle with God. I have been wrestling for a long time, and I’m getting tired of it. I don’t want to fight God. I want to build a bonfire too.
He’s been working in me a lot in the past 2-3 weeks, more than I’ve seen him in 2 years. I think I’m finally ready to “burn” everything. I’m ready for my life to not be mine anymore.
Thank you for this reminder, Alece.