roots and wings
I love my wings.
I really enjoy traveling. It’s a good thing, since I do so much of it. I love the newness, the adventure, the constant change. I enjoy experiencing the new and the different, discovering things I’ve always wanted to see and things I didn’t even know existed.
There is nothing in the world like stepping into the unfamiliar, unknown, unpredictable, and unexpected. It makes my heart come alive.
Most of all, I love people. It is such a gift to be constantly meeting new people and spending cherished moments with friends. Experiencing other people’s worlds means embracing new rhythms of life, and I learn so much from all that is different than me.
I value my heart’s desire for change.
I also love my roots.
I crave security and stability. At times, the humdrum of routine is the sweetest sound I know. There is comfort in the known and the familiar, joy in the predictable. Going to bed after a day that looked exactly as expected makes for some sweet contentment.
I’m grateful for the sense of belonging that comes with home. It is a beautiful thing to have a space in life that’s carved out with my exact shape—the warm hug of that perfect fit is absolutely matchless.
Being in one place long enough to be missed when I’m gone makes my heart exhale. I love being with those rare people who feel like home to me—who know what I’m thinking before I say it, who can read my slightest facial expression, who just plain “get” me, no explanation needed.
I value my heart’s desire for same.
I live in the tension between my wings and roots.
At times it’s exhausting… at others, exhilarating. When I’ve had one for too long, I start yearning for the other. All change with no same makes me just as restless as all same with no change.
And I’m feeling restless now.
The past 19 months have been nothing but change. My heart longs for steady. Predictable. Certainty. I want some surety under my feet. My wings are tired.
So I’m trying to create pockets of same in the midst of all the change. Little bits of routine. Tiny fragments of consistency. I need to find some more creative ways to do that…
Cause after all, a girl can have both wings and roots, right?!
Right.
Are you more of a wings or roots person?
Any thoughts on how I can create some “same” in my
very unpredictable life right now?
Alece,
You accurately, vividly describe my life as a military wife. I am always trying to find new ways to create pockets of familiarity in the midst of constant change. Thank you for putting into words what I often feel in my heart!
You are beautiful!
@gritandglory says:
i honestly hadn’t even thought of how military wives would be able to relate, but YOU SO GET IT! thank you for your sweet comment, kristen.
@atangie says:
I am not surprised that this is a common bond with missionaries and military people. Not to be too cliche, but we have been referred to as “God’s front line”, ya know?
You’ve got a bunch of great commentuers here! This might have already been said, but a pillow routine might help: when you lay down and when you get up simple things you always do. Chat with the Moleskine, maybe?
Another thing that might not be as practical is to reserve one meal a day to yourself during which you read the paper.
I am curious to know what routines you find to bring you comfort, Alece. fyp.
I found you from Kristen, and I too am a military wife who just moved cross-country. The tension between roots and wings is one I’m currently trying to figure out. Thanks for your post.
AH! haha! Another military wife reading your blog friend!
Kristen… we try to do the same….. have things that never change within our family so we have something that is constant, something that is familiar, something we can count on. Holidays and birthdays are biggies for constants. So are the small things we like to do as a family. The location always changes, but we hope to have roots within our walls (no matter where those are!) that we always count on.
Well said, girl! I love the way you say “roots within our walls”…that is right on. Maybe we military wives are good at relying on a little Miracle Grow so those roots grow quickly?
I wish I could give you a quick and easy answer on how to build same in your chaos right now. Perhaps some kind of regular thing you do each morning when you wake up regardless of where you are?
I love to travel. I didn’t use to love it…it’s only been in the last few years I’ve really felt comfortable on the road. I thought my job would open doors for more travel and outside of a trip to Nigeria and two to Florida it really hasn’t done it. Perhaps God’s been prepping me for something in the future, eh?
However, I can’t say I’m more of a roots person. I have such a hard time developing real relationships that even if I lived for years in a place I usually didn’t have people who miss me like you have people that miss you. (Family notwithstanding.) I’d almost have to get “roots” to really be able to see if I’m more wings or more roots. My gut right now says more wings.
And speaking of that, I could go for some wings right now.
@gritandglory says:
mmmm… now i’m in the mood for wings too! ;)
You guys are making me hungry.
@pa3cia says:
that’s why God has starbucks everywhere… so you get a lil bit of familiarity/home with you everywhere you go :)
@dg4G says:
Warning : there’s only about 2 in Australia. And they’re pretty thin on he ground in Ireland too. Just sayin’ :)
@moweezle says:
double warning: there are NONE in Israel ;(
@dg4G says:
I don’t know if I’m more of one or the other. I love both. Life is definitely more wingy of late, but when we stop for a moment we find we’ve planted some roots anyway.
What’s sometimes hard is that Diane & I are both fairly different in this regard – she’s much more rootsy, and wings are just required to move between the places the roots have been planted :)
@moweezle says:
I completely understand where you’re coming from! When I’ve been stuck anywhere for more than a couple of months I get stir crazy, but when I’m traveling constantly for more than 2 months I miss my bed. ;) Funny, cuz I was seriously just gonna email you and ask when you’re moving back home (africa, home).
Something wierd though, for the first time since living on the field, I have been craving more roots in my life. I think its age creeping up on me and my clock ticking. LOL But, seriously, when it comes down to it as of right now, I’m still more of a wings gal than a roots one…
@greenenough4me says:
David [above] says, “…and wings are just required to move between the places the roots have been planted.”
Yes.
That.
I have roots planted in Alabama and Germany. And feel homesick for places I’ve never even been.
I’m a southern girl, and plant my roots deep into the soil, into hearts.
I’m also a military spouse. I use my wings often.
I don’t think I’m more one, than the other.
I need to know my roots will always be there, when my wings get tired.
I would like to say that I love the wings and that is what I lean towards, but I have been a rootsy kinda guy. I will say that my wife has really helped me spread my wings and embrace change.
I have been flying on glorious wings for three months and I’m soooo ready to land and put down roots once again at my house in Eastern Europe. Yes, I’m ready to go back :)
@traceepersiko says:
I’m both I think. I feel you on the restlessness of one if I’m in the other for too long.
Restlessness for wings is so present that it’s hard to not be frustrated a lot or discontent. Trying to be grateful for both.
.you have traveled more than anyone I know in the past almost two years. Woah! You have more awesome people this year then in probably you last ten years! Your travel log is re-diculous! I would love to know how many beds you’ve slept in, Starbucks you set up shop in, restaurants eaten at, and bouncing of time zones you done. Dang!
I miss your roots and wings. Wish both were closer to me. Sigh…. thank for flying up here as much as you have. I’ve been blessed. Loving you, mo’z.
Sorry, Alece, the mental picture of both roots and wings gives me a picture of a stuck butterfly frantically flapping its wings, but stuck fast.
How about wings and a nest? A solid, attached place where we belong, just the shape to hold us and cuddle us down safe, but wings able to fly.
It is something I struggle with, too. Right now, we have been given roots, but our wings are clipped, and I worry – will we ever fly again. And if we do, these roots are down deep…. and we have solid roots now in a place that is still not our home… will it be our children’s home then because their roots are here? And what will that mean?
@bernardshuford says:
I’m all about roots. Sometimes that frustrates me, because I would like to fly, but I can’t un-root myself. I’ve always hated the unfamiliar. It’s not as much about the place, though, as it is the people. Thus, I can not move at all and all the flyers around me leave me feeling lonely.
I so understand this. This is exactly how I feel.
I am rooted but want to have wings too.
for the longest time, no matter where I went… I felt “disconnected” from the space. I had a friend tell me “home is where your heart is” and I agree… and that is important, but I need to see the same stuff day in and day out too – it helps me feel “rooted”
I think I’m a rooted person. John and I are like the most boring people on the planet – we are so routine.
And I love it :)
@PrudyChick says:
It’s no surprise why we get along so well. We’re so much the same.
I’m very much like you in that I crave the familiar and routine. I don’t do well with chaos in my life. But I thrive on new things and change. I think you have to try to make a routine of new things. For example, my friends and I have started meeting for dinner on Friday nights. I don’t particularly care for the change in my schedule and odd hours it makes for at work, especially because it means I don’t get done at the radio station until LATE. But the newness is something I enjoy, so I’ve had to rework how I do things throughout the rest of the week so that the change of Friday’s is beneficial.
I think you should establish some roots in Nashville. Just sayin. ;-)
hmm, this is the dilema of our life, always.
We’ve been here over two years now. It takes me roughly 18months – 2 years to finally feel settled somewhere (which is entirely too long). But, just as I get settled, there is a small window of time where I can relax. And then I start fretting again…. because at some point after the 2 year mark, but before the 3 year mark… you are now open to new orders (most likely) at any point. So now I’m in that mindset of wondering IF and WHEN and possibly WHERE. I don’t want to go. I would love if we were here for a few more years at least. I want to stay comfortable for a few years in a row at least. But everyone in this lifestyle knows, it could all change with one piece of paper at any given moment.
I look forward to the day when we buy our forever house in our forever town and have no plans to move ever again. That is a long way off from where we sit.
Now after all that has been said….. I roll with it when it happens, and welcome the changes and make the most out of it. I am finally, after nearly 10 years, on board with the idea of moving overseas….so in some small way I am looking forward to that, just not too soon.
Also, oddly enough…. never in my life did I want to leave my hometown or travel or go anywhere unfamiliar. All of my friends always talked about moving away or traveling… I always said I’d be happy to stay put. Now, they’re all still there and I’m the one who can’t stay put. ;o)
@PrudyChick says:
I’m usually more a roots person. I’m so content to be home but lately I’ve been feeling the need to fly a little (literally in some cases). To experience some new things. To dig up the roots and untangle them shake off some of the dirt and allow them to warm in the sun.
i like wings as long as i’m with people i know–sort of creates the comfort zone from which to launch. i like roots because i long to be known, really known, and there are precious few people in my life who fall into the category of “get me” folks.
i’m feeling sort of restless right now too, and i don’t know why. haven’t had a change of scenery since march, and don’t foresee another until december. my job is great, but very routine. i’ve mastered it and don’t want to be promoted. still, i’m wondering if there’s more out there in store for me than i’m aware of.
i think the best way to create some “same” in the midst of unpredictability is to be fully engaged and present wherever you find yourself each day. invest in those around you, i.e. be their “get me” person as much as you can. that kind of involvement will reap benefits quickly.
keep your body in a rhythm too. get proper rest and eat right. that will help you cope with the unknown too.
love this post, alece! you have so beautifully put words to the tension that is in my heart as well. i’m learning to embrace both sides and not feel like i have to pick one or the other. i’ve learned to let myself have those days where the chaos drives me crazy & i just want to crawl into a cave so i can have my pocket of “same.” those days are going to come when i have wings & roots as large parts of who i am, trying to pretend they’re not or force myself out of them isn’t going to do me any good.
i’m also learning to find my roots and pockets of same in people & relationships rather than places. God’s been teaching me that He may take me a million different places in life and while the world would like me to believe I need to have roots in a geographical location, He works differently. having consistency in incredible friendships makes it easier to fly.
@jclayville says:
i’m just starting to a spread my roots since i’ve been uprooted most of my life.
i’m more comfortable with roots. or the thought of roots. however, i think that this time of our lives is a calling to obey God in how He wants to carry us with our wings spread. i’m excited about seeing the world from up there… but i won’t lie. i’m a bit anxious of where we’ll land… or if we’ll ever land.
Pulling weeds. By the roots. You love it!!
Sometimes the weeds, like some of the circumstances in our lives, just need to go. So we can take root & flourish. We surround ourselves with people that help us grow. And learn to work around the weeds. Not judging them, but setting up boundaries. And I believe we can take most of our roots with us when we transplant (land) somewhere new. We leave a little or ourselves behind & use those wings to visit.
@cassgirl says:
I’m a flyer… BUT rooted by my life circumstance.
I wrestle with this ALL THE TIME…
I need to be patient, because one day I am gonna to grow wings …
Then I’ll be complete.
You have left a lot of yourself in a lot of places. Some hearts are just meant to take wing & fly. Some like to stay in one place. I love to travel & VISIT new places. That doesn’t mean I want to stay there. I try to take a piece of that place home with me.
I am more rootsy, too. But, like David said, “wings are just required to move between the places the roots have been planted”. Especially now. After moving 1700 miles to an area I had never even visited. (I know it’s not half a world like some people have done recently). But, it was scary. Same town for 28 years. Same house for 20. That’s a long time to take root. It’s funny, I truly believe God brought us here because I needed to do a little rooting outside my comfort zone. I needed to broaden those wings. I feel it. I feel the growth. I try to say excited about what the day holds. Stay home & tend my garden or get out & try something new! Either can be good for feeding my soul.
As others have suggested, when you are going on the road bring something with you to remind you of your roots.
I think blogs, and twitter provide, soemthin of a home base community were you can visit your friends whenever you want, wherever you are.
I traveled a lot when I was working, especially the last 10 years, six to ten weeks on the road, followed by usually two months working in an office near my home.
I am now clearly more of a roots person, but I need love, need, the freedom to be able to take wing when the urge strikes me, which it rarely does.
I’ve been rooted in a couple places, but Im about to take wing.
I like roots, I like somethings to be familiar or I go a little crazy. That said I love adventure and seeking new things.
I’m ready to fly.
@coloraturajoy says:
right now i’m rooted. and i want to stretch my wings. and i just don’t quite know what to do about that yet.
@lauraparkerblog says:
I feel you! I am more of a roots person but I married a total wings-man. It’s had us moving 11 times in 11 years, and 3 of those being out of the USA! Transition is soooo hard, but I have definitely learned that when things in my life get shaken up, I tend to look UP a whole heck of a lot more. And that’s always a good thing.
Have had this percolating inside ever since I read it. Still not really sure how to answer.
As a military brat (father in the Air Force), I lived everywhere and we moved all the time. I enjoyed it. I still love the adventure of new places, but the older I’ve gotten, the more I have to admit I enjoy things being simple and quiet and familiar.
That said, though, I’m getting the sense, “Hold onto it all very, very lightly….. ” Oh boy.
I recommend a familiar fleece pillow and blanket, and a flameless candle for the night table to make you feel more at home, wherever you are.
Oh my goodness, I was just having this convo w/ my husband last night. I told him that I find myself living from trip to trip, always excited about the next adventure, always thinking about what/where I can explore next. I like my wings and, like you, it is exhilarating for me to step off a plane or out of a car in a completely new destination. Love, love, love it!
I have to say though that we have been in limbo for 9 months now with moving, staying with family and friends, buying a new house in a new city and completely gutting and remodeling it (Lord, let it be done soon…), and I am beginning to desire (who am I kidding? more like needing, craving, longing for) some stability. Just to flop on the floor with a movie would be magical right now. I love my wings but they sure are tired. ;)
As for establishing routines, I agree with what everyone has said above. Establish things within your personal life that are comforting and necessary. For me, I usually take a bath every night no matter where I am to wind down, read, reflect on the day. Having three kiddos surely forces me into some routine as well as they actually like to be fed three times a day (imagine that!) and some sense of normalcy helps them tremendously. I appreciate the advice above about trying to create days they can look forward to and count on (library on Monday, amusement park on Wednesday, movie night on Friday.) Establishing roots inside our walls. Brilliant. Going to work on that this week.
Thanks for sharing your heart, sweet girl. Ours are better for it!
I get this. The year my daughter died and our church died, everything changed except my job. It was the one same in a year of very painful change. This past spring I realized that it was time to rest from the job, because the rest of life was mostly calmed down…except my heart and soul and spirit were in turmoil. I needed to slow down and rest physically so that God and I could hash things out spiritually. I took a three month leave of absence from work. We’re still hashing, but my leave is nearly done. It was good. I will pray for rest and a little same for you, too.
I LOVE this alece!
I think (actually i know) that I am more of a roots girl, but with the desire for stronger wings…
Have you ever stopped by the Deep Roots, Wide Wings blog? It’s not often that I get to read through blogs but I just skimmed through your’s much the way I was able to take a quick look at the Deep Roots, Wide Wings blog a few weeks back. If you have never been there I highly recommend it- that blogger is an excellent writer and has beautifully put into words the same message you are sending here. I hope you enjoy!
@gritandglory says:
yes! amy is a dear friend of mine, and she’s our director at thrive africa! glad you read her wonderful blog.
Ha! Come to think of it, I may have come across her blog through a link on your’s…maybe? It’s no surprise you two know each other after seeing all the parallels in this post. Like I said, it’s not often I get the chance to really read through blogs that I enjoy but I plan to make time to read through Deep Roots, Wide Wings- it certainly does my body good! It seems to me, from the very little I know, you’re one lucky person to have such a friend and I truly thank you for ‘introducing’ me…if in fact that’s how it happened!! hahaha! Thanks again!
so i’m a little late on this….catching up on some grit.
i so know this tension, too. love the newness of traveling and change, but get restless when change is the constant…just as i would if routine was the constant. i want a little homebase… i have a craving to paint a bedroom that i call “my room”…i want to have some flowers that i water everyday, a coffee pot in a kitchen…or a corner of “my room” perhaps…. at the same time i want to work for delta so i can fly anytime i want! i want to be free to roam and explore and move! oh wings, i love you. roots, i hear you calling.
I’m definitely more of a wings person. My roots lie in completely mobile and sometimes intangible things, like my core relationships or time alone, regardless of where I am … little things, you know? Too much routine leaves me feeling stagnant and lethargic. I need a constantly changing environment just to keep me awake sometimes. My husband is more of a roots guy. He feels security and comfort in same-ness.
I don’t have any good ideas for routine. :) no clue. Do you need quality time alone, like me? Perhaps some kind of time alone regularly would refresh you. That’s all I got.