my souvenir(s) from ohio
I’ve never been pulled over before. Until tonight.
I’ve gotten tickets, but only because of those stupid ridiculous precious cameras posted along the highways in South Africa. And they’ve all been delivered by the unreliable postal service. I’ve never gotten a ticket in America. And never directly from a cop. Thankfully I can still say that. Even after tonight. Phew.
Thirty minutes before, I debated about whether or not I should hit the bathroom one more time. I’d been chugging water all night and had made frequent trips to the restroom. I kinda had to pee but figured I could easily handle the 20-minute drive home.
But as soon as I got into my freezing car, my bladder shrunk. Oh well, what’s a girl to do? I just blared some tunes and hit the road. (Sidebar: In response to my recent post, a friend mailed me her iPod car adapter to borrow! Am I blessed or what?!)
Not five minutes away from my house, a cop car pulled out behind me. And when the red-and-blues started flashing in my rearview mirror, I groaned out loud. I was on this troublesome road that deceives you me with its four lanes. The speed limit is only 25; I was going closer to 35 40.
My heart was racing as I pulled to the side of the road. My only experiences with this sort of thing come from watching COPS. And we all know those encounters never end well.
I was in a borrowed car. With an out-of-state license. And I’m a resident of another country. The story was clearly way too complicated to explain to a policeman on the side of the road on a freezing night when my bladder was about to burst.
After way too long of an exchange, the cop decided just to give me a written warning. “After all,” he said, “You need a souvenir from Ohio.”
I smiled and squeezed my legs even tighter together. I wanted to tell him that my currently-developing urinary tract infection was more than enough of a souvenir. But I refrained.
All that to say: It’s true what your mom used to tell you. You should always pee one last time.
@cassgirl says:
At least you didn’t get the ticket and at least you didn’t pee in the seat.
Because if you had, my oatmeal wouldn’t be sticking to my monitor from laughing so hard.
(I have never learned not to eat or drink when I reading your posts. Because my food and drink always becomes projectile. )
(love you my friend)
Good tip.
Oh no!!!! I’m glad you just got a warning. You know, once a cop pulled me over when I was feeling sick. I told him that I had a very upset stomach. He didn’t believe me. He wrote me a ticket. And then I threw up on his shoes. True story.
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=iISyPz5XRyI&feature=related
Wait, did I just see ALECE????
LOL!!
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=iISyPz5XRyI&feature=related
Wait, is that ALECE I see???????
LOL
Aaarggghhhh, why won’t my comments show up anymore???!!
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=iISyPz5XRyI&feature=related
Wait, is that ALECE I see??????
LOL
“Bad girls, bad girls, whatchya gon’ do, whatchya gon’ do, when they come for you?”
Heh heh Glad you made it in time!!
Ahhh….. I think I will raise my glass to nice cops. :)
@atangie says:
Gosh darn those slow wide 4 lane roads!
Ha! Great story. Sounds like you found a compassionate cop.
@danielleH says:
good story. and i think we can all agree that you learned a lesson (like to avoid roads with a speed limit of 25)
i got a speeding warning when i was going to see natalie last november – 42 in a 25.
So sorry, everyone, about the repeated postings, have no idea why it did that……. (red face)
(no worries, lisa. because of the link they got marked as spam… i went in and unspammed them!)
I think I would have SO made the comment about the UTI! :) ha!
My first time getting pulled over I had a little spat with Kev and got in the car to just drive and clear my head. I blew thru a stop sign and sure enough the “blueberries and cherries” were flashing. I am almost certain I probably said a curse word since I was still not very happy and probably hated all men at that point. The cop, in all his powerful glory came up and asked for all the needed documents and went back to his car. He then came up and said “Miss….do you know you just passed through a stop sign?” I looked at him and said, “Yup!” He paused and said, “Can I ask why?” I said, “Because I am pissed off at my husband and now I am pissed at you for pulling me over! Give me the ticket already so I can go about my business!” He stood there shocked……I was sure I was about to get the whole, “Miss, I am a police officer…..” bit but instead a huge grin came across his face and he was stiffling a laugh. He gave me my lisense back and said, “I am letting you go……please be careful and go home to your husband and make up.” I still can’t believe how bold I was to that officer…..really it wasn’t very nice. :)
@moweezle says:
You’re lucky you only got a warning….I find American cops to be much more harsh than African ones (well ones in Bots. anyways) :) And, if you were back in Africa you could have just pulled over on the side of the road and went there like everyone else does. hehehehe Did you finally make it to the safe zone???
Ha! Even if you did say that, it wouldn’t have beat that time when we were all in the van, and mom got pulled over and offered the cop a donuts from the box of Dunkin Donuts!
Haha! At least he believed you! (Loved Danielle’s comment!)
25 mph in a four lane? What the heck?!
My mom always said (re: peeing), “Just try.” My friends laugh at me, because I still follow that rule and “just try” anytime I can – because I have learned the hard way!
(not the actual peeing in the car hard way – just the almost gonna pee in the car I’m not kidding hard way) :)
that is hilarious!!! haha!
be glad you wern’t chugging coffee…. now THAT wouldn’t have been pretty. ;-) heehee
When I was a senior in high school I was driving some freshman/sophomores home from school. in my subdivision it’s 25 and everyone always goes more. except today some older woman called the police to trap the high speeders. i was going 40 and got pulled over in my own sub. not only that but all the kids in the car were minors and none of them had seatbelts on and i didn’t have my proof of insurance yet cause it was on my dads desk in his office… my license should have been taken away, so he said, but he let me off real well with just the speeding. i was ok with that. when i came home and told my dad, all he said was “it happens”.
@cassgirl says:
Ya know this could be a a Monistat commercial!!!
Thank you, Alece!! I’ll remember that for the future.
After living in Ohio for four years and being married to and Ohioan (?) my only thought is “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DIDN’T GET A TICKET.” Ohio is notorious. As soon as I hit the border between MI and OH I slam on the breaks and hold a steady 65mph. I once got a ticket in Oh because I HAD to pee. True story!
so sorry. i always go one last time too. but after chugging water, who knows…two kids and my bladder is as tiny as mandy’s. =)
i’m glad you didn’t get a ticket.
Oh funny … I would’ve asked him to follow me to the bathroom so I didn’t wet my pants while he was writing me a ticket! :) Glad you only got a “souvenir.”
Well, now that’s not what you wanted to take home to remember from Ohio! I’m sorry you got stopped but glad you held the pee in! That would’ve been a real mess. :)
I have a tiny bladder so I understand how you feel…
every time I’ve gotten pulled over, I’ve gotten a ticket.
every time my best friend gets pulled over she always gets out of her tickets. i’m glad you’ve got her luck and not mine!
Awww… you must have one of those sweet faces that get away with everything…
I have a lead foot and ALWAYS get a ticket. My dad gets out of every one of them, but my mom is like me. She was once driving a car full of NUNS, in their habits, and still got a ticket.
i got pulled over one time on my way to church (i was speaking). the officer told me that giving me a ticket would be like giving God a ticket and let me go! shew…needless to say, when i got where i was going i had to use the bathroom!!
heidi — i love how often you have food mishaps!
tonggu — threw up on his shoes!? how do you recover from that?!
lisa — i’ve had that song in my head all day… thankyouverymuch!
yeller — absolutely! that’s exactly what i took away from the whole experience.
sarah W — i canNOT believe you said that to him! girl, you shocked me!
mo — i agree. i’m much more afraid of american cops than african ones!
andrew — she did????
PQ — “just try”. that’s my new mantra.
brandy — yeah, imagine having to tell him that i need to go drop a chalupa!
marc — when i read your last sentence, i read “$hit happens” and my eyes got huge. and then i burst out laughing.
sarah indeed — really? that’s good to know!
sarah M — “as tiny as mandy’s” – ha!
tjarks — your friend needs to give lessons.
gitz — a car full of NUNS and she still got a ticket?! that’s one helluva cop!
mark — saying he’s a pastor has helped niel get out of a few tickets (in africa), but sometimes it backfires. quite a few cops have said something along the lines of, “well, then you should know better”. ouch.
I loved this one Alece! i have never been pulled over either, at least not while i am the driver. i dont know how many times i have gone way over the speed limit with a full bladder or a crying baby in the back. Something about that cry gets my foot to hit the gas every time, but in the long run i would rather have him crying and get there alive! now you have a story about your first “ticket” in the US!
i had several souvenirs when living in Ohio. thankfully i have decided that following man’s law is important to God and REALLY try to watch my speed. Knock on my hard wood head…it has been over 8 years since my last ticket….that was in BowlingGreen KY….i hear that they LOVE delivering souvenirs there.
mmm….. i love benevolent cops. haha.
i’ve been pulled over a lot, and they all have good stories attached, but one of them is this: i was driving home one night my senior year in high school and i was pulled over because my license plate light was out. i was all, “i didn’t even know i had one.” anyway, when i went to get my license i remembered that i had just gotten back from a trip to quebec, and i had left my wallet at montmorency falls. thankfully the people at the souvenir shop there were mailing it to me, but it was still in canada. and i was not. instead of explaining all of this, i said i had left it at my friend’s house. i lied. tsk tsk. if i had been speeding, i’m sure he wouldn’t have been so lenient, but the cop just told me to replace my light and let me go.
Haha…THAT was amazing. I got my first ticket this past May. The policeman had no sympathy for the fact that I had never gotten a ticket. Oh well…gotta love Texas.
You don’t remember that? She totally did.
faith — i have such a heavy foot. and a crying baby or screaming child would make it even heavier!
jane — such a great decision. seriously.
nutmeg — he let you go?! can you drive with me always please?
shea — them texans! (just kidding, y’all!)
bean — i don’t think i was there. and i seriously don’t think i ever heard the story. so funny…
Sorry for the sudden outburst of comments on your blog, I’m just catching up…
You crack me up Alece! I laughed multiple times while reading this. Especially the part about the precious cameras…LOL LOL!
Good thing you didn’t punch him in the mojito.
crystal — i love seeing you here. serious!
motts — i cannot pronounce “mojito” right anymore. i’ve joked so much, saying it in this thick accent, and now i find myself saying it that way when i order it. and the looks i get from the waitresses are priceless. oh dear.