monday morning confession
January 23, 2012
Bracing for the backlash that I am likely to get for this, but… here goes…
I miss kissing.
Your turn.
[see previous monday morning confessions...]
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Backlash? I miss kissing too. And sex. And cuddling. Having a home. Gotta stop there for my own sanity.
@gritandglory says:
YES. to all of the above.
I get that. {hugs} I miss feeling connected. Lately I’ve felt detached from everything and everyone.
All the above, plus I miss coming home to someone there.
@gritandglory says:
…who’s there just for me.
@Brain_Of_Brian says:
There’s this girl. I know very little about her, but if I had the chance to marry her, I probably would.
Make the chance, dude. Make the chance. Ask her out.
@Brain_Of_Brian says:
I took a chance and drove 10 hours to see her for the first time. I hope our worlds collide.
I hate admitting that from time to time I miss the physical things too. But when that happens I stop and remind myself that I never had those things with anyone who was actually a safe person in my life. Then it becomes less about missing those things from the past and becomes more about cautiously hoping I will have them with the right person in the future, if that makes sense.
Amen and amen.
Meg, I couldn’t have worded it better myself.
@gritandglory says:
that is exactly it. thank you.
Who would give you backlash?
You are allowed to miss kissing….. HUGE HUGS!
I miss having friends…..
@nancypantsgirl says:
I agree with Anna. Maybe some crazy nut would give you a hard time but really… you are allowed to miss the sweet things. Just as we are allowed to grieve death because it reminds us that something is amiss… it’s not supposed to be this way. When we grieve death, we are really missing LIFE. You are experiencing a touch of that sort of “shadow proves the sunshine” kind of thing…
It’s good to miss that which is good… as long as we don’t “live” there but turn our longings and missings and anxieties into worship and trust in His Allness.
Me too! Me too! Or someone walking up behind you and wrapping their arms around your waist and kissing your neck while you wash dishes. There, I said it. And honestly, I miss things that I never really had. Maybe that isn’t missing but longing. I long… and I mean L.O.N.G. for eye contact and a heart to heart connection. I long to be seen deep in my soul, not just looked at, past, or through. I want to know what that feels like. I want to know what a relationship with a man really is like when you are not used for their purposes but encouraged and affirmed to be who God designed you, now how they want to design you and stick you in a prison. I see it in other couples I know and I stand and marvel, asking myself, ‘Is that real?” I want so, so badly to KNOW that. To experience that. But I also know that I do not need a man to make me feel complete and if God does not bring one in my path who has a heart after Him in a huge way, I would rather stay single the rest of my life than to make a really bad choice ever again, just because I’m lonely. Some things are a million times worse than being alone.
@hannahruthie says:
Amen, sister. Right there with you.
@gritandglory says:
YES.
@nancypantsgirl says:
Alece, you have wise readers. Truly.
Oh my Lecers….. Hugs today friend ((((()))))
God made us that way, physical contact is His perfect way. Just one way to show His Love through us.
i do love it and long for it. but like the Psalmist said in Eccl, there is a time to embrace and a time to refrain. Our time to embrace will came, all in his perfect timing.
@XCWATERBOY says:
I’m studying to be a teacher and generally speaking i think the world of academia is lame. odd i know. I do love learning and can’t wait to teach. I just hope I can make it a bit less of the needlessly stressful nonsense that it usually is.
also alece given the amount of twitter followers and blog commenters and subscribers you have i have to imagine theirs a pretty decent-sized pool of guys who can help you with your statement above. I’m not being suggestive i’m just being mathematical. Odds are in your favor haha…
@nateonamission says:
haha. you’re funny Peirce. =)
@gritandglory says:
you make me laugh, peirce!
@jeremykwalker says:
I can totally understand why you miss this…I miss kissing and everything that leads up to it…brushing the hair away from eyes so I can look into them…catching my breath…feeling my heart beat faster….yeah, I miss it all…
@gritandglory says:
mmhmmm…
@julespreever says:
I miss sugar. Not the boyfriend kind. The food kind. I gave it up in October. Some days I’d kill for a Bilzzard. Yeah. I’m a little more off topic than most, but it’s what I miss. ;-)
Backlash? What? That makes perfect sense to me! :)
I miss a big kitchen and a real house. We all miss our heart friends and our church. And, just connections. It can be pretty lonely. And … I sorta feel guilty about that because this is the season God has us in and we are genuinely embracing it. But there are days I really miss home. Oh, and a babysitter I trust and feel good about would be lovely cause I miss date night with my husband.
@sundijo says:
I miss snuggling. I would love to go to sleep at night talking with someone about my day.
@gritandglory says:
i SO miss snuggling…
I can’t understand why there would be backlash. I think it’s very healthy to acknowledge what you miss! After my own divorce, I avoided all thoughts of desire and wanting to be with a man again. Somehow, I thought the fact that I didn’t ‘need’ a man would mean I shouldn’t ‘want’ a man, companion, etc. As I slowly gave myself permission to admit that yes, I would like that again someday, it opened my world up to so much hope and possibility. It’s very exciting!
I think the desire you have demonstrates your own capcity to give and share in love. It’s doubtful that God would waste that.
@gritandglory says:
thank you, MJ…
@rachieannie says:
I miss being involved in active ministry. It’s harder to see what needs to be done when you don’t have it directly spelled out for you.
Hugs to you friend! I remember those days, and they were HARD!
Sometimes, I miss being bored.
i miss having a friend I can call and talk to hours with
I miss English singing and preaching.
@mallyflip says:
me too. Sometimes I wish the sermon was only 40 minutes long instead of an hour and 20 minutes due to translation.
@tamikaeason says:
I want the intimacy God intended in the garden. I want that place in my marriage where I can be naked of all the hurts and words that pierce.
Then I believe all the other things will be as they should.
what a rich conversation!
love all of these gorgeous transparent hearts….swooning.
I love it.
yeah, that’s what I miss
in my everydayness….this kind of honesty.
Beautiful.
grinning and grateful,
Jennifer
@gritandglory says:
yes and amen!
Yeah. Me too.
I miss having someone feeling tiny in my arms…
I miss kissing too. And I miss hand-holding!!!
Hugs to you, Alece. Maybe 4th time’s the charm. I *think* I have another trip coming to Nashville this month! Maybe we can meet IRL :)
@gritandglory says:
email me with your dates – i’m traveling a bit, but if i’m town i’d love to find a way to make this work!!
no shame there girlfriend. . .
me. too.
@lindseyfoj says:
Oh I actually thought about this and things like this for you the other day {not as weird as that may sound, I promise}…just thinking about the intimacy, closeness, safe feelings that you might miss…like a kiss…
@gritandglory says:
“closeness”… so much YES.
@lindseyfoj says:
I miss feeling “safe” “consistently in IRL community.
I’m not sure what I miss… But i am missing something, I can feel it. I want to say it’s closeness in my marriage or communication or deep understanding. Any of these could be true but for the most part I think we have a good marriage. Its more to do with my own insecurities and doubts than anything to do with Dan… Which leads me to think that the missing peice is really closeness with God. Why does everything always come back to Him? I’m glad it does though because that means everything is in his capable hands.
So I guess my Monday night confession really is: I miss God and right now I’m too busy, tired, lazy and self centered to reach for him in any bigger way than to say prayers at night and little requests and thank you’s thought out the day.
Oh and let me just say
It’s been a few weeks of crazy everyday life and I could really use me an orgasm!
How’s that for missing sex?
(feel free to delete coment if I crossed even my line of honesty. Just sayin I understand!)
@gritandglory says:
it’s been a long time since you shook things up here, faith. bring it, girl! ;)
@traceepersiko says:
i miss kissing. it’s my favorite hobby if i had one. hehe. I miss all the tension before the kiss. I miss the drawing in – the weak in the knees feeling.
i miss being someone’s smile, in between thought, tension, and desire. I miss feeling uniquely beautiful to/with someone.
Always will be a bittersweetness for me – Glad for the memories, but ache all the more having them. Grr. .
@gritandglory says:
a loud YES to all of the above…
i’m seconding that loud yes.
@addiezierman says:
I was going to confess something trivial, but reading through these comments has made me realize that I have bigger confessions to make: namely, I haven’t appreciated the kisses like I should, the marriage like I should, the moments–good and bad–like I should.
The house is wild with little boys, with crying and temper tantrums and another unsuccessful stab at potty-training and two new teeth coming in, and I’ve too often taken it out on him. I’ve been angry that he hasn’t helped enough. I’ve so often been too busy with my own expectations to really see him.
Today, more kissing. Today I’ll do way more kissing.
Wow, I can so relate! Hope your day goes a little better today.
I appreciate your comments … good luck with doing more kissing today!!!
BUT — feel free to confess something trivial. The last time I did one of these, which was something with a little less direction than “I miss…”
My confession was that I once ate a box of thin mints. the whole box. in one sitting. And … it was last night. (not really last night …. but about 6 months ago now – which was the night before our last confession party).
and speaking of that … I miss Thin Mints!!
@gritandglory says:
THIS. THIS comment made me tear up and nod and i could feel my heart resounding a loud “yes!”
“today, more kissing.” i love that. and i’m so thankful for a positive take-away from all this…
thank you, addie.
@Allison0105 says:
Yep. Me too. Badly.
@kirstnintherain says:
No backlash at all…once you’ve experienced it, it’s so hard to lose and be without that intimacy and closeness. I miss having someone to look after me when I have a cold.
@kellibob says:
Backlash? I didn’t read ALL of the comments, but thankfully I didn’t see any negative nellies!
I’d be worried about you if you didn’t miss kissing. Its pretty great.
God has a great kisser out there for you! He’s preparing him even now, just as He’s preparing you.
@sdcountrywife says:
i miss the connections I made with other girls as a child. i miss my childhood bffs. why is connecting with other women as an adult so hard?!
Grown up friendships, really good ones come few and far between. All the more reason that I try and really make them count. Not easy when I have a little family to tend too.
I was checking out your blog today and I really love it. So different than my life in west Chicago but in many ways not different at all. :-)
@sdcountrywife says:
Thank you, Faith! I really appreciate that. And I agree with you: we have to make sure they count and not spend times with the ones that don’t. I didn’t grow up in the area I live in now, and being in the country, it can be hard to establish real friendships. But boy am I thankful for the handful of good friends I have made so far!
PS. isn’t it funny how we can relate to other people, despite being in such different worlds? it’s amazing.
@tammygrrrl says:
Faith, where are you in Chicago?
It’s a suburb of Chicago called West Chicago about 45 min from the city.
@tammygrrrl says:
Oh yeah! I forgot there was a place called West Chicago. I live on the North Side. Are you a blogger?
Not right now, just a friend of Alece. I’m focusing on being a full time wife and mom and for me right now that doesn’t leave time for blogging.
@hannahruthie says:
It’s Tuesday, but I’m gonna confess… I miss being someone’s girl, being called ‘baby,’ and talking with our eyes in that language that was only understood with each other.
@hopefulleigh says:
Ditto!
@amandalou01 says:
I’m tardy to the party, but I can’t see how that would elicit a backlash :)
My confession is that I’m tired of being “on” all the time and dealing with first impressions. I miss being somewhere where I’m deeply known and don’t constantly have to explain myself or talk about myself (my least favorite things to do). I also miss having a job that’s about more than paying my bills, but is something that makes me feel alive and valuable.
Also, to the woman who had the cookie confession, I’ll just say “thou art not alone” ;)
@e_j_reading says:
My monday morning (or rather tuesday evening) confession this week is …. I miss smoking. I miss the 2 minute breaks outside to clear my head, I miss the conversations over that cigarette, I miss the calm it brings, I miss the friendships formed over borrowed lighters, I miss the taste. … I miss smoking this week.
@elramey says:
~ only believe, only believe, all things are possible, only believe ~
Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. ~Rabindranath Tagore
And a song…
http://www.seafarerpress.com/sound/faith_is_the_bird_ssa.mp3