lessons (3 of 5)
Do it afraid. Fear paralyzes, but courage shrugs its shoulders and takes a step anyway.
I’d say that most of the time, I don’t feel strong/brave/prepared/qualified enough to do what I’m doing. In Angie‘s comment, she asked how many times I’ve been tempted to give up. A lot!
Lack of finances, skills, time, and faith have all made me think, at one point or another, that I just can’t do this anymore. And then God, in His faithfulness, uses circumstances, people, His Word, or His peace to bring my heart back around again.
I wish my faith didn’t waiver as much as it did. I wish I could say I am a courageous leader who is always sure of her steps and confident in what she’s doing. I wish I was never tempted to give up. But if I’m honest, none of that is true.
And like a consumer I’ve been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my fifteen minutes of faith
Then I’d be secure
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace
i sit here reading this with my heart pounding. its been pounding since 4:30 a.m.
i’ll be leading worship at our seminary chapel service this morning – its my debut as a chapel worship leader. and i don’t even know if they’ve ever had a chick worship leader in chapel before!
yeah. heart pounding. partly because i’ll be leading a crowd that i’m not yet familiar with… partly because i KNOW this is an answer to prayer – a GOD opportunity.
our seminary is on the lookout for a new chapel worship leader next year – its a big job. its a big deal. its a BIG need, and i have a BIG passion for revival in worship on our campus… sunday at church i decided that God might be leading me to pursue this position. but i HATE self-promotion, so i needed the Lord to open the door for me.
then one of our professors contacted me LATE sunday night to say they needed an emergency worship leader and i came “highly recommended”. (i didn’t tell her this, but the person who recommended me has never even heard me lead worship – what?!?!)
so, yeah. heart pounding. hands shaking.
but i’m gonna do it anyway…..
Gotta get my hands on that song…
You know as I read your post and the first comment and think about my own fleeting faith I had an idea. Encouragement and hope should continually be in my mouth as I talk with others. They might need to hear that if they don’t give up they can’t be beat. They might need to be encouraged; God might use me to put courage in someone else.
I don’t know why it is; but I find it so much easier to believe in others than to believe in myself at times.
Thanks for your transparency and honesty. Really, thank you very much.
@ngie: girl… i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, what i value MOST in the Body of Christ are the encouragers – i need encouragement more than just about anything else in my fellowship with others.
do that – you will BLESS those around you. you will breathe life into them.
@ventigrace says:
That’s why Jesus is so evident in you…. you don’t do what you do in your own strength… and He gets the glory of pressing on in “weakness”. I love you.
This is Annie’s sister, Katie, here. I’ve checked your blog out off and on, and finally decided I should leave a message, so “Hi!”
And sister-like-sister, I suppose. I was going to say the exact same thing Annie did… that I don’t think God ever lets us get to where we feel totally confident doing what He’s called us to do. Because if He did, we’d quit relying on Him. So He keeps stretching us… calling us ever-onward… continually coaxing us out of our ever-growing comfort zone toward the day that we realize our REAL comfort zone is in His presence. For THAT is where we truly belong, and only there do we find ourselves as He created us to be.
thanks so much for this post. that song was like my theme song in high school. i’m going through something pretty big right now and it’s something i can only do with God’s help. doing it afraid but with faith is the perfect way to put it…i had never thought of it like that before. i often think if i have faith i shouldn’t be afraid because then i’m not really having faith! thanks again for the encouragement!! :)
Yeah, thanks for the transparency. I think every one of us aspires to be ‘superman’ (or woman) in some way – and when we can’t actually do it, we look for other people who we think are, so that we can compare. So thanks for the transparency, reminding us that we are all dust – that we can’t do it without Him, ever. I love Angie’s comment, too. Encouragement is such a huge thing. I don’t think any person will ever get so ‘good’ or ‘confident’ that they don’t need to hear encouragement. The encouragers are such a blessing to the body of Christ.
And I’m not sure which of my comments my sister was reading …. obviously she beat me to this one. :)
Or maybe she thought Amy was me. That would be strange, though.
@danielleH says:
this is such a good lesson that you’ve shared. thank you. man, it’s good.
and you gotta love cademon’s call.
mandy::: can’t wait to hear how it went.
angie::: “I find it so much easier to believe in others than to believe in myself at times.”—-meeee tooooo!
amers::: thank you, friend…
katie::: thanks for joining in and sharing your thoughts. i appreciate it.
jenn:: yeah. it’s as though we’ve been ingrained with the thinking that to walk in faith means to never be afraid, when i don’t think that’s true.
annie::: yes yes yes. i concur on all the encouragement commentage.
yeller::: i love caedmon’s…
ALL::: transparency is hard for me; thanks for acknowledging that you saw it and appreciated it… (exhale.)
Okay… I was SURE that post said Anniem but it says Amy now!
Okay… I just said “hi” and introduced myself by sticking my foot in my mouth. Oh well. :-)
(And that’s what happens when you’re typing with only your left hand and a kid in your lap.)
Alece: we’re too old for lack of transparency… hiding just takes too much time & energy. keep it comin’….
haha. My sister is making me laugh. I love that she had a typo and corrected it in second comment. lol. We do that all the time when we’re chatting online, and laugh at ourselves for it. Can’t help it, though. It’s compulsive.
i do the exact same thing, annie! and lately i seem SO typo-prone. it drives me nuts!