just to clarify
I recently blogged about some of the lessons I’ve learned in my first ten years of ministry. A friend asked me to share some of my personal history with those things, and I plan on writing a few posts in response to her comment.
But I need to start off by clarifying that when I say “lessons learned” I certainly don’t mean “lessons mastered”. Every single thing I listed is something I still struggle with in some way or another. I’m often hesitant to share things I’ve learned because although my sharing always comes from a place of journeying, not of arriving, somehow there is the implication in those words that I’ve figured it out. Hear me: I haven’t.
But the other side of that same coin is that I believe there is value in speaking from a point of brokenness. Being a missionary doesn’t make my life unrelatable to yours. I face similar struggles and challenges, and I write from that place, not from the awkward, lofty pedestal people often put missionaries on.
I recently spoke with someone about helping her deal with some issues in her life. I told her, “You need to know that I don’t have any training in counseling or any experience in dealing with things like this. But I’m willing to walk that road with you, to figure it out with God’s help as we go along.” Her response was wonderful. “I think that’s actually what I need. I don’t want someone just telling me how to fix my life; what I need is someone willing to walk alongside me in this. I think I will get more out of that kind of help than I would from some professional whom I write a check to at the end of our meeting.”
Her words seemed to sum up my thoughts on the perspective I have when I write. I’m next to you on the road, not miles ahead simply because I’m a missionary.
I’ve discovered that the expectations I often feel from others are ones that many place on anyone in ministry. Yes, we are to “practice what we preach”, “walk the talk”, and not tell others to do what we ourselves aren’t doing. But—and this is a big but—if we expect people to only share what they’ve mastered, there would be much silence in this world. We will never arrive. Never. Expecting that of anyone, especially those in ministry, only adds undue pressure and burden to their lives.
Remember the humanity of the missionaries, pastors, and leaders you know. Just like yours, our lives are filled with more grit than glory. And since I’m trying to develop more authenticity and transparency in my life, that means the more you get to know me, the more grit you’ll see. While that thought makes me cringe, deep down I know it’s a good thing.
@danielleH says:
thanks for sharing this, for being a person that has learned so much, given so much and walks in humility, for being transparent.
love you.
now i know while i’ve clicked so well with you.
amen…………
yeller – thank you…
mandy – that’s why i loved your recent “encouragement” post!
@ventigrace says:
yes, yes, YES :) I’m proud of you friend… all while I was reading this my heart was shouting AMEN!! For some reason I’ve struggled with this too… wanting to present a “completed” package… but that’s just not where it’s at. I learn a ton from being invited in on your journey.
mmm…. thanks, kitty. i’m glad we’re both “undone” together.
My Pastor used to say that every believer (himself included) should have a sign posted on them, “Under Construction.” Thanks for the down-to-earth reminder. And encouragement. I’ve certainly not mastered all the lessons I’ve learned, and even those I’ve mastered (very few), I’m not perfect in. We have all of us feet of clay.
alece: yes yes yes
This is a reminder that I needed to hear today. Thanks for letting us take the walk with you.
My oldest is 10 today… I gave some parenting advice today… I have by no means arrived… I have learned some things… but I would not call myself a master.
Did you know that in some languages the word for learn and teach are the very same? I think that is a good mentality to have.
In Spanish the same word is used for teacher and master. At times I have to have the same talk with people when they ask me for advice, “Hey, look – we’re all in this together. Let’s walk this out together.” It is difficult sometimes for people to hear me say that because at times they want someone to do all the thinking for them – but it doesn’t work that way. We all have something to add.
I loved this line: if we expect people to only share what they’ve mastered, there would be much silence in this world.
I am excited to read the coming posts.
Hello! Thank you so much for your prayers for Faith and for me. Also, your words were encouraging and refreshing to me. Thank you.
Tell me a little about yourself. Do you work with thrive Africa? Where are you from? You can email me back if you like.
Grace and peace, Leah
Good stuff, Friend.
That’s my roommate up there.
She knows who you are. I swear. Your picture is on our fridge!
Thanks for this.
“Speaking from a point of brokenness.” Very good.
I’m smiling.
annie — i liked this: “We have all of us feet of clay.”
angie — thank you… in afrikaans the word for “learn” and “study” is the same, which is so interesting to me because they seem to imply very different things. however, in this case, maybe the interchangeability is perfect. the tings i’ve “learned” are things i’m still studying…
leah — thanks for the note. i’ll shoot you an email.
natalie — you’re alive!
becca — yeah, sure… (bah)
@danielleH says:
you know, i was thinking about you and this post this morning as i was waking up. (does that raise my addiction to 75%?) anyways, i love it that you are a “normal person” that lives in grit and laughs at jokes…but you are extraordinary in so many ways. to me one of the most noticeable of these is your courage. now, i know you strongly believe in “doing it afraid” but you have found the courage to do even that, to begin, to keep going. i know you are still learning, but in the process of developing your heart, you often challenge me.
mmm… thank you, danielle.
The more grit I see the more respect I have….the more connected I feel…and the more convinced I am that I am in exactly the right place…holding up exactly the right arms!