i’ve had enough
I’m still camping out in the story of Elijah. Maybe because I see so much of myself in him. Not in his prophetic voice or powerful miracles, but in his crash-and-burn.
Remember his showdown with the prophets of Baal? God showed up in a huge way, making it very obvious that He is the one true God and that Elijah is His. If ever Elijah was on a spiritual high, this was it.
And then he crashed and burned.
When Jezebel made threats against his life, Elijah forgot about the great victory God just brought him. He collapsed to the ground in despair, raised his eyes to the heavens, and shouted, “I have had enough, Lord. Take my life!”
Been there? I have. Plenty of times.
I can move from victory to defeat in an instant. It all rushes in and I feel like I just can’t take anymore.
I gotta admit, I’m kind of relieved I’m not the only one with irrational mood swings, desperate prayers for God to take me, and the overwhelming sense of “I’ve had enough!”
At least I have this one thing in common with Elijah.
The story goes on and I’m intrigued by all that happens next, because it shows how he dealt with his funk. And I need to know how to deal with mine. [If you want to read through it later, it's in 1 Kings 19:1-13.]
Elijah slept. A lot. I know I need rest, although I often feel guilty over making that need a priority.
An angel provided bread and water for him. I’m taking stock of God’s provision of those people, places, and things that refresh and revive me from the inside out. I need to surround myself with them more often than I do.
He slept, ate, and drank. Again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Just once isn’t enough.
“Nourished by that meal, he walked forty days and nights, all the way to the mountain of God.” Ejlijah was still in his funk, but he walked on. I need to simply keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when my heart says “I’ve had enough” with every single step.
“When he got there, he crawled into a cave and went to sleep.” God knew I’d need to hear this again! Slowly getting the message…
He encountered the still, small voice of God. One by one a wind, earthquake, and fire ripped through the mountain. But God was not in them. “And after the fire came a gentle whisper…” Those quiet words were more powerful in Elijah’s heart than any mighty prophecy God had spoken through him.
At the end of the day, God reaches through my funk and with His peaceful, gentle voice, reassures my heart that He is trustworthy.
He lovingly reminds me that He is in control. That His grace is sufficient. And that He gives strength to the weary.
His more-than-enough-ness makes up for my had-enough-ness.
Over and over again.
@christielici0us says:
“He lovingly reminds me that He is in control. That His grace is sufficient.”
There was an occasion recently when He ever so gently, oh so quietly reminded me that He is in control and I can trust Him without question.
It was so good to feel that.
This is a great post, Alece. Thanks for sharing!
@gritandglory says:
loved hearing that He gently met you in that place, Chrissy.
I so needed to read this. I am definitely at that. point. And as you so aptly put it…His more-than-enough-ness makes up for my had-enough-ness.
I need to remember this.
Things suck right now. And I am at my had-enough-ness.
Now to remember His more than enough-ness. And to pause long enough to see it and know. He is here. He cares. I am not as alone as I think I am.
@gritandglory says:
I’m there, too… and my heart needed this reminder.
(hope you got my email, christy!)
@moweezle says:
Oh YES! You’re not the only with Eliijah-relating issues…. I’m right there with ya! This post is exactly how I’m feeling too! Thanks, Aleeeeeeeeeece!
@gritandglory says:
you make me laugh, mo! loving you, girl!
@mat2820b says:
Oh I loved this Alece. I love how you pull apart storiesand make them come alive and relatable :)
I love how you took the fact Elijah slept alot in the context of getting rest to recoup. I always figured he was just severely depressed :) (Before Adam got his “happy pills” he used to sleep all. the. time. We found out later it’s a BIG red flag.) Thanks for giving me permission to have a “time out” ;)
@gritandglory says:
i think elijah may have been depressed, i don’t know. it does give me hope, though… if God can use a depressed prophet then surely He can do something with me!
@mat2820b says:
Heck… he used a dead dude.
Sure as anything He could use me! ;)
@gritandglory says:
not to mention that donkey…
Hmmm…..
this was good to read right now. I’m in a HUGE funk where I can’t seem to sleep enough no matter how much sleep I get. I keep feeling guilty about not getting up until 9 most days, but clearly my body needs it.
My funk is lifestyle induced. ha!
-Friends leaving, moving onto new bases…. puts one in a funk especially when making new friends all the time can get tiring. I’m tired of making new friends out of neccessity. You say that you have a revolving door…. our door doesn’t revolve so much as shut, and then you hope to talk through a window for the rest of your life. ;o)
-Planning for the new “year” that starts in September. Both for MOPS and our first year of homeschool.
-Summer in general makes me exhausted with all the running around that happens.
-and then there is just the heart funk I’ve felt for a few weeks now.
I need to remember that God will make me rest even if I don’t want to, and if the only way He can do that is keeping me in a coma like state until 9 in the morning, I guess he’ll do it. hmmm….. but truly, I am tired of it. Bring back my 7am wake up call please!
Sweet girl, let yourself off the hook. Sounds like you have lots going on. Use other times to recharge with Christ. Slip out on the patio and just sit. Lift your face to the sun and just breathe. The Spirit’s job is to bring living water, your job is to drink.
A “dry spell” is a huge indication that it’s time to remember the Spirit in in YOU to work for your good and His glory and all you have to do is simply humble yourself to it. Soon enough, you’ll feel different even if your situations are the same.
Hmmm…. I’ve been rereading your comment several times since you posted it, not sure of how to respond…. other than a simple THANK YOU. Letting myself “off the hook” doesn’t come easily. The dry spell though I know is God’s way of prompting me. When I can’t hold it together at bible study long enough to comment, I know He’s working on my heart.
And, I’m Raisin b/c of Alece (ha!) but Brandy otherwise. ;o)
You’re welcome. I just want to see His people free to live and laugh and find the “water” all the time.
hmmm (I “hmm” a lot, ha!)… as I read “free to live…” my instant thought was “but I’m such a fan of words like “should” and “have to” and things like rules….” which clearly is my problem. None of those things opens one up to much freedom in anything at all…. let alone freedom in Him. ;o)
Thanks for making me think!
If you are living for rules and “should’s” and “have to’s” then you will never be free to simply live in grace. I’d love to know more and see if I can’t help. I was a huge legalist years ago. so… email me (If you wanna). nwitcher2208 at gmail dot com :) I’d love to talk more!!
@gritandglory says:
i loved watching as you stepped in and encouraged brandy’s heart, natalie. thank you thank you thank you.
you’re welcome. I love encouraging other, fo sho!
ya know, I looked at your website and thought “dang, she’d be great to speak to our MOPS group this year!” ;o)
It’s not that I’m a legalist when it comes to Christ and Christianity at all….. I used to be very much so about 9 years ago, out of fear. Now, the rest are just self imposed for no reason at all. Well, there are reasons… but not good. ;o)
I’d love to email you sometime though and chat….when there aren’t literal balls flying past my head (like at this moment….3 boys). ha! ;o) Thank you.
Totally understand. And, I’d LOVE to come speak to your moms. If you’re serious, just go back to my website under Speaking Thru Me and follow the promts. I get scheduled thru the ministry.
I’m so glad to hear that it’s not legalism, and I SO get the self-imposed stuff. You should see my journal from about 6 months ago when the Father revealed how much I live out of fear and guilt. ohmygranny, it was crazy! I don’t know if that’s what you mean, but for me, self-imposed junk was killing me! We worked it out. More like, He worked it out of me :)
Thanks for sharing and trusting a complete stranger!
Alece, Raisin, and Natalie, you have ALL ministered to me just by me reading your comments right here. And Alece, thank you so much for this post. I totally needed to read it tonight, along with your comments between the three of you!
Natalie, in one of your comments above you said: “If you are living for rules and “should’s” and “have to’s” then you will never be free to simply live in grace.” I totally agree! Sometimes I think maybe we don’t know how to LIVE in grace. I know I’ve struggled with that. I think we can get so caught up in what we do that we don’t know how to just BE…Just BE and cease striving. Does that make sense?
Once again, thank you Alece for this post!
Karen
I”m so glad that you were blessed! The only way we should strive is to strive to live in grace! :)
@gritandglory says:
you know what i always say… we need to stop shoulding on ourselves. so much easier said than done…
i so appreciate your transparency and honesty, raisin. always.
Love you friend. Thank you for having a safe place to be transparent and honest.
praying for you as you enter this new season, that God blesses you with continued guidance and support. And rest and provision :) love u girl
I really feel like our generation of always going, up all hours on our computers and iphones can be dangerous. We have to shut off. We have to. There is too much at stake not to, our bodies, our minds, our hearts. Rest sweetheart.
SO agree with this.
“He slept, ate, and drank. Again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Just once isn’t enough.”
^ This is where I am. Trying to get in a safe rhythm and take care of myself despite the major instability around me.
Thanks for sharing your hard struggles with us Alece. You are much loved – by God and this community.
Fantastic post, Alece. It sounds to me like you’re doing your own version of the Pete Wilson Challenge I’ve been doing this month. It’s really hard sometimes to see God’s presence and hand when the joy is stolen away in a swoop. I had that happen yesterday…Monday was a day of great blessings from God and Tuesday…fwipp!…joy gone. A full court Satanic press on my finances in an attempt to sap my joy.
You’re such a wonderfully strong woman even if you don’t realize it. You’re such a great example to so many about continuing to move forward into God’s call on your life.
Get thee an Ambien and sleep well, my dear.
But yes, you’re right, there will inevitably be times of “crash and burn”. Having the where w/all to know they are seasons is a sure sign of maturity.
(I JUST blogged about a healthy spirit) weird. “I see fat people” (No you, dearie, not you)
@gritandglory says:
heading over to read it… NOW!
@PrudyChick says:
This is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. Simply because of how God showed up.
@mat2820b says:
Me too :) I love that God isn’t an attention seeker, or a flashy showman :)
@gritandglory says:
me too. thus, my current camping…
i am SUCH an old testament prophets kinda girl.
I needed this today, in the throes of my own mood swings and my own desperate “I’ve had ENOUGH” prayer this morning. Just when you think the hits might stop … they just keep coming. Here’s to hoping we have discernment enough to find those moments of rest, the wisdom to take them, and the grace to let others lift us up.
xoxo
k
@gritandglory says:
perfectly said, kirsten — thank you.
praying for you tonight…
Alece, please forgive me for being so bad at commenting on your stuff lately. I’ve been a bad blog friend. But THIS really spoke to me today. Bless you, my friend. Praying for you.
@LindseyHartz says:
Nothing profound to say today except AMEN! :-)
This really spoke to me as well~~something I struggle with that is very painful seems NEVERENDING and I catch myself wondering sometimes if it will ever change and why hasn’t it changed and haven’t I done everything I am supposed to … yada yada yada. :-) I love this remember to keep marching on, to keep resting in His arms, and to keep battling my lies with faith.
Blessings,
Lindsey
The story of Elijah is probably my favorite in all the Bible. This really touched me.
Thank you.
Thank you for this. This is a good story to come back to over and over again… just like how Elijah slept. ;)
@anitashawaii says:
Thank you for sharing your heart. You inspire me to really let God work in those places that I keep from him and others.
@bahava says:
….and i just woke up from like a 2 hour nap…i read this post this morning and tucked it away in my “interesting, i’ll think on that later” and then as i was exhausted after vbs and working with kiddos, i let myself lay down without guilt of thinking there are so many other ways i could be spending/enjoying/utilizing this nice summer afternoon. thanks for the timely reminder :)
Just remember, when we park under our Juniper tree and have a pity party, God provides the cake ;)
I’m sure it’s chocolate.
@gritandglory says:
holla!!!! ;)
@mandythompson says:
I heard a sermon on this very story last week. I couldn’t believe my ears…
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/turning-point/listen/dealing-with-depression-120515.html
Imma give that a listen! Later…it’s too late right now. ;o)
@mat2820b says:
In a good way, right, Mandy?
@gritandglory says:
listening right now. can’t tell from your comment whether you enjoyed it or hated it…
@mandythompson says:
Both. I simply received it.
Praying for rest that soaks through you and peace and a new revelation of yourself. I love you dearly. I love your transparency and, most of all, I love your heart. It is big and it screams Jesus!
Its interesting that God just gave major victory in the granting of an impossible dream for me. I’m headed to South Korea as soon as I get a work visa.
And yet less than 48 hours after I got the news, I was swamped and wondering what the heck I was thinking! My heart was screaming and my mind racing, looking for an out of this crazy next step God is leading me on.
Here is where I put one foot in front of the other while doing the paperwork thing, knowing Satan is going to throw every lie from every possible angle. I must find rest in Jesus admidst the chaos that is a major life transistion. Isaiah 30:15 is my verse for this situation: This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it..
@gritandglory says:
WOW! WOW! WOW! Melissa, that is awesome news — i so want to hear more about what you’re planning to do there!
I will be teaching English as a second language in a small academy in a small city south of Seoul. Part of this is for the teaching experience and part of this is about God training me in following Him being a living, breathing testimony of the Gospel, while being immersed in a culture very different than my own.
Ejlijah was still in his funk, but he walked on. I need to simply keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when my heart says “I’ve had enough” with every single step.
This is so true! Life is a series of taking one step after another and then when we do get to that point where we can’t take another step that’s when He picks us up and carries us through it. Keep going girly, there’s gonna be brighter days!
Very good points. Just want to add: eve when our lives are desperately, hopelessly, maddeningly, and sickeningly out of control…
…He is not.
Good stuff. Good, good stuff. Nice munching.