icarus wings

sunlight

I can barely remember that season when words came easily. It seems like ancient history—those mornings when I couldn’t start my day without scribbling some heart thoughts… those nights when I’d gladly stay up way-too-late to clothe my wandering wonderings in letters and words and paragraph breaks…

I like to think that season of willful writing was because of the context of my life. I only half joke that there wasn’t anything else to do in Africa, so my free time was effortlessly spent blogging—and now I have restaurants and city streets and front porches to enjoy. But I know that’s really only a fraction of it…

My life was also bursting with experiences imploring to be expressed, thoughts demanding to be declared, and heart stirrings begging to be shared. My gritty life in glorious Africa was so much larger than myself that I couldn’t contain it if I tried. It pressed and prodded until it broke free. In inadequate syllables, it gave my heart wings to see and to say and to listen and to learn…

Inspiration doesn’t seem as readily available anymore. I have to forcibly seek it out. Make time for it. Create space and even, more often than not, the desire for it. I have to shake the tree until inspiration falls like ripe apples to the ground, waiting only to be collected and enjoyed and shared.

But I’m realizing how much I crave it—both the inspiration and the writing—regardless of how much effort and exertion and force it requires. The free therapy of “thinking out loud” through written words might be just what my broken Icarus wings need…

And so, I write.

Even when it’s only about my difficulty to find words…

 

Comments

22 Responses to “icarus wings”
  1. Jean Ruwe says:

    We are so blessed that you write! Thank you for sharing from your heart. I can’t tell you how exciting it is to see a new blog post from you. It is like an unexpected surprise package, beautifully wrapped, just begging to be opened! Love you.

  2. Allison Johnson
    @
    says:

    yes. me too.

    This season has a purpose, I’m sure… but I really hate it.

    I feel like a dry, hard sponge. Nothing seems to soak in… and there is nothing to squeeze out… besides some apathy…

    Just being honest.

  3. Amy Young says:

    The path I’m on writing-wise right now is to not mention my father’s death in EVERY thing I write :). I bore even myself with it. But I also know this is part of the process of getting it out and processing it. And then I read your post about not writing and am engaged and interested by it. So, perhaps, others don’t find me as tedious as I find myself. Thanks for sharing, Alece ;)

  4. Yes. Those things you said. Because seriously.

  5. sheryl says:

    yes!! i am in that place…have been for far too long. i SO miss writing. but obviously not enough to just “write on” even when the only purpose is just the writing.

  6. I just finished reading Notes From A Blue Bike. She talks about the creator of the comic strip Dilbert. He says that when he was a kid, there was nothing to do. He was bored, so he created things all the time. And now that technology is so ready to entertain us 24 hours a day, we leave little time to, as he stated it, be bored and create.

    I’m trying to slow down and be still more. It’s so hard. It helps some days, and some days it drives me absolutely crazy, but I do feel it’s good for me to quiet down more and more. Your post just made me think of that quote today. Hope some day the words flow free again.

  7. I hear ya Alece. I’ve been feeling that way recently as well. It can be frustrating, and make you wonder how meaningful your life is now as opposed to prior. But I’ve come to realize just like life, creativity has seasons. I think of a quote from Frederick Buechner that says something like “appreciate life in the boredom as much as the excitement.” Inspirations comes harder sometimes. But as a writer, I just press on to write even when it’s hard. Glad you’re doing the same. I’m sure the river of words will flow sooner than we thing.

  8. Mark Allman
    @
    says:

    Alece,
    Really I think I would enjoy you writing about anything even if it’s about you struggling to write. I think sometimes when writers have a hard time writing it does not mean they are not doing worthwhile things… perhaps they are in a gathering time… picking up ideas and thoughts and examining them; filing them away until a time they are able to puzzle them together with other thoughts into something they want to share.

  9. Pierre says:

    Alece,
    The following quote helped me immensely at a time when I was in a very dark place:

    A writer writes not because someone will read it; he writes because he is a writer.
    A chef cooks not because some will eat it; he cooks because he is a chef.
    The best are the best at what they do, not because they hear the call of the wild,
    they are the best at what they do because they answer the call from within.
    Alvin Augustus Jones

    Many Blessings on your journey,
    Pierre

  10. Jimmy says:

    An experience in wax.

    An experience in wax
    melts
    in the black heat
    of the midnight sun

    becoming white
    in natural light

    articulately endearing
    in a display of compatibility
    with an endangered species

    reacting spontaneously
    with all the art
    of practiced
    self preservation.

  11. I do hope you keep writing. and I suspect you will. I have had periods of not blogging, but most of the time writing. it’s how i process my life. that story about my word for the year? well, i couldn’t blog and didn’t even journal much for a season and when i got “unfrozen” i could write again. (hint…that might have something to do with my word! )

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