heart clarity
Throughout the day, I get inspiration for posts I want to write.
Between meetings and meals, and squished in the middle of conversations, I have moments of clarity. Heart clarity.
There’s the sudden phrase that seems to perfectly explain how I’m feeling. There’s the word picture that beautifully paints the experience of the moment. There’s the crystal clear nugget of truth that God whispers to my heart.
These moments jump out at me, taking me by surprise.
As activity and conversations continue around me, everything inside me slams on the brakes. I can hear my heart beating. My slow-motion thoughts scroll across my mind in bright, vivid color.
Heart clarity.
And then… just as quickly… it’s gone.
Gone before I’m able to grab it.
Gone before I can write it down.
Gone before I can pull it tightly to my chest and hug it close.
When I finally have time to sit at my computer and write a blog post, it’s at the end of a long and full day. A day filled with all kinds of wonderful, a surpassed quota of spoken words, an occasional heartache, and a shaken-snowglobe of emotions.
I click “Add New Post” and then stare at the blank screen.
As frustrated tears fill my eyes, I try to recapture those thoughts from throughout my day. But they’re gone. For good.
And all I’m left with is… this.
And welly eyes.
Every day. Exactly as you describe.
I’ve taken to keeping a small moleskine notebook with me, and trying to jot down the sentence, or the thought… but it still isn’t always enough.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s because God wanted that moment of heart clarity to be just between me and him?
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s because God wanted that moment of heart clarity to be just between me and him?”
Everytime this happens to me I think the very same thought.
This.
@pa3cia says:
I just want you to know how much I love ur heart :) im so glad I was able to give you a hug yesterday!
Now you finally found someone shorter than you! :)
@elainaavalos says:
Alece…sometimes words fail me. Which sucks since I’m a writer. But where I didn’t know how to put together the words earlier today, I just want you to know how much your blog and your open heart have meant to me as I’ve read – wherever you’re at. Thank you for being real in whatever the moment is, in this space. Because it has truly been another piece in a puzzle that gave me that hope that I could walk back into fellowship with believers and not feel so alone.
I should have said that earlier but sometimes, I don’t have the right words.
I’m praying for you!
Get a pen and a notepad. And pull it out whenever the clarity comes.
If people say, “What are you doing?”
Just tell them, “I am sending Nor a text message…” ;-)
@gritandglory says:
oh i’ve got a pen and notebook… but in the middle of a meeting, a dinner conversation, or some other moment with other people, i can’t always interrupt to dig it out… those are the moments that elude me the most.
Alece,
I just wrote a blog for tuesday that is exactly about what you wrote. As frustrated writers us bloggers all go through this, I will be driving and have the idea, it will be good, then something else will come in and sweep it out into the wind. I cannot tell you how many idea blogs I have had that never came to fruition because I couldn’t remember them. I even have a digital recorder I sometimes carry for just those moments. Anyway, I can relate. Really enjoy your blog!
God Bless
Jim
Gotta love “welly” eyes. There are many more stories in our tears than I think we will even be able to comprehend ourselves. Maybe God gives a glimpse… then saves it again for another day…
@mat2820b says:
I do this all. the. time. Drives me nuts. Or I think it at midnight. Or I’ll think of a funny tweet when I don’t have my phone.
I do like what Ash said up there though. :) Even if it would be nice to share it with everyone, sometimes, our words aren’t enough to convey what the Lord was speaking to us.
I think He does it diliberately.
There is a scripture that talks about “taking every thought captive unto obedience to Christ” – I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you have these moments of heart clarity and you “capture” them… it is a beautiful expression of how you are paying attention to your heart in Christ…
Even at the end of the day when it doesn’t seem like you have stuff to GIVE to others via your blog… you still had that moment of heart clarity between you and God whree you RECEIVED and THAT is what is important (don’t discount that friend, it shows your heart is in tune with our Savior)… Sooooo many times God reaches out to us, but we do not have that moment of heart clarity… so it speaks volumes that in your hustle bustle of days… you hear God, you REALLY hear God.
Sometimes those moments of heart clarity are to encourage you alone…
Sometimes we need to stay in receiving mode…
You are giving out SOOOO much right now friend… so much. Allow yourself to receive for awhile, allow yourself freedom from the pressure to be all things to all people, take some time to nurture YOU… the Grit will survive, we will survive, and we will love you no matter what.
That’s what friends are for.
If I was there I would pass you the kleenex box and give you a hug too. Love you friend – no matter what – i love you!
I haaaaaate that feeling. And I know it SO well.
I sit here, punishing myself because a million times over I knew – KNEW- what I was going to say, but now that it’s time to put it out there, it’s just……gone…… *eyes welling*
I just did this a couple of days ago! I had to walk away and come back to the computer. I hate it when that happens :(
Yeah, I get this. A lot. I think my best poem ideas are forgotten this way. Life. When I give it my full attention, it flys by so fast. When I pause to capture the inspirational moments, words, thoughts, sounds, smells, and chaos… I miss something, or someone.
I think you found your post – even with the welly eyes. So many times I feel this way – scraps of paper with one-liners take over my purse. Frustrating. But, I’ve found most times it’s just hidden – percolating. The idea I thought I lost eventually peeks its head around the corner of my heart, and I can capture it and mold it into the blog post or chapter I originally wanted. Other times? It comes out better than before. :)
I have this same thing too! Only not for bloging, just things I want to remember and keep fresh in my mind. I have gotten better at trying to grasp on to those thoughts that are from God and write them down quick. And I have gotten better at letting other thoughts go. Like if its a really great thought and then a min later I can’t remember it I just figure oh well if it was that awesome God will bring it back to me again.
Maybe you need a blog break for now. We will all still be here when you get back and no one will think any less of you. I HATE that my enjoyment of reading your blog come at the cost of your stress and tears! To me its not a fair deal! Let us help you somehow, by either supporting you in a break to give you a rest or let your friends post blogs for you. You come first and your blog shouldn’t be a source of stress. We are here to uplift you in prayer and love not make you feel overwhelmed.
Pray about it. I love you and am praying for your rest and strength and comfort. Take care of yourself first!
@christielici0us says:
It’s too bad we can’t just whip out a laptop and start composing a brilliant post every time inspiration strikes, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. But I guess if we could, every post in every blog would be amazing and pretty soon, they’d all just blend together. I think we appreciate the posts with flashes of inspiration and clarity more because they’re a little on the rare side.
But I say just keep doin’ what you’re doin’. Your posts are always amazing and inspirational to me.
I have that happen, too. Actually, when I came up to see you and Sara, I made several notes (yes, while driving) about important things I needed to blog about. Unfortunately, I didn’t transfer them to my online blog list soon enough, and my husband accidentally threw my notes away. I was sooooo frustrated! And seriously, the only thing I could remember writing down was the silly Ke$ha lyric that I told you guys I had stuck in my head!
And I’m pretty sure questioning whether anyone actually wakes up feeling like P Diddy is the kind of heart clarity either one of us has in mind.
Yeah. My pastor called those moments of clarity, “Divine breathings.”
But, I find they blow through quickly. And like the wind, they’re gone.
I’m praying for you to have some time to sit, without any pressure or interaction…to be still and know…
o my gosh i feel the SAME way! THE. SAME. WAY. there are so many times when a thought hits me, when God shows me something, when as I’m saying something to my son i think “maybe that’s why God does that as my Abba”, so many great nuggets i want to remember. to share with others, because i don’t want to hoard these great God moments to myself. because God has so much to say to all of us, but we are always so busy and miss it. i want to remember these nuggets, these whispers. but they leave so fast. when i’m in the moment i feel like i will NEVER forget it. but then a few hours later after dinner is made and the kid is in bed and it’s kinda quiet….those moments are so far away.
that’s why i feel i should get an iphone! ;) i can jot things down whenever i need to!
but really, i pray that you can treasure those moments for as long as they last and that God hug you and hold in those moments of clarity, and then later when things aren’t so clear. His hugs are available just the same.
You’re not alone. I have so many topics to write about during the day, but when I get home, I can’t remember anything. Which is why my blog right now is pretty much links to the good stuff I read during the day. Hang in there….
@sonsti7 says:
Don’t get “welly eyes”!!! :-) Totally know what you mean Alece! You get inspired and then about 47 other things pile on top of that creative spark or that pure thought that you just knew you had to put down on paper or in a post. Happens to me all the time. I’d originally thought that by Ingrid and I starting our blog, we’d sort of remedy that by being able to get those thoughts recorded in a quick and organized medium. But that’s definitely not the case. Almost seems like since we’ve decided to share our hearts with a larger audience, the enemy tries to scramble the signals and communications all the more. We’re with you!
Praying that your heart’s clarity and restoration is undeterred!
This really struck a cord with me…I don’t blog but I do journal and have many of those Heart Clarity moments that I would have loved to record, but alas didn’t.
me, too…..i get that.
it’s frustrating for sure.
very frustrating.
@nateonamission says:
I have that happen to me allll the time. I may not be a writer like my sister, but shoot. I feel as though those are the moments when God has breathed life into you. It is the purest air I have ever breathed.
I hope that your heart clarity, no matter how fleeting, settles your heart and your soul. Because that’s all that really matters to us. ;)
@kedamak says:
I’m with Gitz and Ashleigh on this one. I think maybe just maybe those moments are meant to be shared with just you and the Father. And just maybe He wants to use those moments to be like the sudden summer rains that come in quickly, douse the ground and leave as quickly as they came in. But leaving in their wake a cooler air and the beautiful fragrance of summer that is often lost in the humidity of the summer air. There is much weighing down your beautiful heart these days. I see the Father in those moments breathing the fragrance of His presence to remind you that He is still with you. And while you are so open to share the moments of your life so freely with us, I suspect He’d like to have those heart clarity moments be just for you. His gift to you in the stickiness of life’s circumstances. Praying with Gitz that those fleeting moments help settle your heart and mind. Sending much love your way always.
i have welly eyes right now.
for lots of reasons.
{finished one article, halfway thru #2}
thank you so much for letting us take care of you this week. we love you more than you will ever know.
@mandythompson says:
Oh friend… where’s your trusty Moleskine when this happens?
Why my blog is so sporadic. Seriously. :o\
My moments come at night when I’m in bed thinking, or when I’m driving. Both times when I can’t get it typed out.
i’ve been struggs with this lately. recently the clarity just comes like *bang bang bang, ready or not i’m going to stampede you* rapid fire. but i’m come to realize that a lot of those moments are God-and-coop-lets-snuggie-up moments, not God-using-coop-to-speak-to-the-world moments. He doesn’t talk to us so He can talk to the rest of the world, He talks to us because He loves us deeply. it’s hard for me to not be able to write those stellar thoughts down…but it’s harder for me to give up the steering wheel and let the Holy Spirit bring to remembrance what should be remembered, to intercede for my heart, and clarify what should be clarified.
Just like almost everyone else up there, I feel ya. :) I write little notes everywhere I go on scrap pieces of paper, but always lose them. I wonder who will find them and wonder who wrote it down, because it probably makes absolutely no sense to them! :) I text things to myself a lot too and save them. hahah!
I love your blog, the way your mind speaks, and your beautiful heart. :) Don’t get too frustrated (easier said than done :) )
Hope you find some time to just slow down and…. simply be. :) So that if some of those moments come, you can hug them for a wee bit longer. ;)
I have to say that, if what you’re writing in the Grit is only the little bits that you remember of your “heart clarity moments,” then wowee………… Because there’s some serious clarity in them there posts already.
Kind of seems like you get to experience a very vivid rainbow, but then can only use one color of your Crayola box to paint the picture for us. And that frustrates you.
I wonder if Heaven will be like being able to express ourselves with the most of ourselves we’ve ever been able to express ourselves with.
O for a thousand tongues to sing……
You amaze me.
So often, God gives me a new song while I’m dreaming- awesome worship songs- it has happened SO many times… then I wake up & its way back in the recesses of my memory & I cannot bring it out again. He has a perfect time for those songs & when the time is right, He’ll reveal them again. Perhaps I just got a sneak preview!
@bernardshuford says:
Many blog posts lost here, too.
Alece: You are far more considerate and polite than I am. Oftentimes, I have the pen and paper already out and sitting beside me when I am at a meeting or lunch or just having a conversation. When the moment hits, I snatch the pen and scribble, usually saying, “Hang on a second…”
My friends have come to expect it. Others just think I am taking notes on something they have said, which some find flattering.
But those moments of clarity are so rare, I don’t want to miss them. Ever.
@tamhodge says:
you are a dynamo.
oh my…i respect you so much, my friend.
take care of you. thats what we all want…more than your written word…we want you “ok”.
youa re loved so deeply.
@johannaprice says:
Yes. This happens to me every single day.