It's really hard for me to remain thankful in all things. In moments of disappointment, hurt, anger, frustration, impatience, whatever, it's often impossible difficult to lift my eyes and say, "I will thank You anyway." And as if that weren't a sufficient enough challenge, I'm not just instructed to be thankful in all things. I'm commanded to be thankful for all things.
That means I need to live from a heart that readily says---
- Thank You for my husband's infidelity.
- Thank You for his decision to leave me.
- Thank You for this loneliness.
- Thank You for yet another high-pain day.
- Thank You for the uncertainty and the unknowns.
I need to start thanking God for my "all things". Even before they work together for good.
Thanking Him even for what hurts and confuses me, develops trust. It helps me acknowledge that He's in control, and that He has even this---whatever this may be---in His hands. Thanking Him for what makes my heart ache, builds my faith.
And my faith sure needs building.
But, to be honest, I'm nowhere near there yet. I don't know when I'll be able to say with a sincere and genuine heart, "Thank You even for this."
But this week I am going to start praying, "Lord, I want to want to thank You, even for this..."