ten years in ten days

My 10th anniversary is stalking me. Ten years. In ten days.

My welly eyes spill over just thinking about it. This will be the second anniversary since he filed for divorce. The second one that feels like it's been stolen from me. Ripped right out from underneath me.

And then it lingers close, haunting me. Taunting me. I can't escape it. Still legally married, but no longer celebrating our marriage.

So days like anniversaries aren't really even scars yet, healing as time goes by. They are still raw wounds, ripped open again by unavoidable calendar pages.

I close my eyes for a moment... and I wish.

I wish for that day to come and go with fewer tears than I have tonight. I wish for anything but alone. I wish for good music, food, and company. I wish it could somehow be a day of creating new, unexpected memories with someone I love. Who loves me.

I wish for happy in my anniversary.

Even though...

Even though.