my now and my not yet

Lately, I just keep thinking about the phrase "the now and the not yet". For some reason, I thought it was in the Bible. But despite all my Googling and Bible-Gateway-ing, I came up empty-handed. Apparently it's not directly in Scripture.


That's okay. It's still renting a room in my head for a reason...

The now and the not yet.

I've been in a long season of transition.



Still trying to figure out what's next and -- now more than ever -- learning to trust in the in-between.

Because I can't really trust God with and for whatever's next if I'm not trusting Him now---in my raw, unpolished, uncertain in-between.

I fool myself into believing I can trust Him with my tomorrow, but not my today. My eternity, but not my present. My not yet, but not my now.

But I can't.

Trusting the God who was and is and is to come, means trusting that He fully holds who I was and am and will be.

Past, present, and future are in His hands. And I can't trust Him with one and not another.

If I am His, I must be wholly His.

If I trust Him, I must wholly trust Him.

I need to learn to trust God in my now, in order to fully trust Him with my not yet.

Because trusting God means trusting His timing.

Even when I don't understand it. Maybe especially when I don't understand it.

So once again, I find myself praying...

Lord, I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.

And the real, honest cry of my heart:

Lord, I trust. Help me overcome my distrust.