goodbyes make my heart hurt
I often say that my life in ministry is like a revolving door. I’ve said countless goodbyes over the years as people have come and gone through Thrive and through my life.
On this trip alone, I’ve said goodbye more times than I can count.
Farewells aren’t new to me. But they never get any easier.
Plain and simple… Goodbyes just make my heart hurt.
The revolving door of my life is constantly rotating. Continually bringing people in and out. Sometimes the out is just for now, for a season. Sometimes it’s for good.
And every time, it hurts.
I love people. I cherish relationships. I value community. Laughter. Shared tears. Conversation. Silence. Love.
As much as goodbye makes my heart ache, I’m grateful I have people worth aching over.
Within the dissonant sounds of goodbye, I also hear whispers of love. For me. For them. And as my eyes fill with tears, my heart fills with a sense of belonging.
Having people to miss this deeply makes the revolving door worth every painful turn.
So I’ll keep swinging it.
And I’ll keep crying my way through the goodbyes.
@bajanpoet says:
I get what you mean about having people to miss. And thank you for preparing my heart, as my dream is also to be in ministry and travelling…. although I love travel and want to be in position to minister God’s word to others – the concept of missing others because relationships are formed hadn’t crossed my mind yet.
Ouch.
Should I reconsider? Nah…….
But thanks for the peek – again – into your heart; both in hurts and in happiness.
Thanks for being such a blessing and an inspiration to me :) Love you lots, mnwaaahhh
Thanks for the positive look on the goodbyes. They do mean we have people to love.
But, on my gravestone, I’m going to have them carve these words at the end:
“No more goodbyes!”
@mandythompson says:
Thinking about you as you leave the left coast…
what Mandy said :) thinking about you friend.
though I am glad you get to say “hello” to the east coasterners :)
@cassgirl says:
I remember a line in the play my niece did called ANNIE,
” How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. ”
this post has the same resonance.
Just like the effort of our legs pumping on the swing as children, so too does the revolving door free and strengthen us. We open ourselves up to love, pain, laughter and pure joy. We find family in the most remarkable and unexpected of places. Sometimes? Well, sometimes, we find “home” as we clear the tears and finish the embrace. Praying you continue to find home on this amazing journey, sweet friend.
I never said more goodbyes as when I lived in Africa and one of them was to you. I could have never imagined how God would bring you back into my life years later at just the right time. He’s good like that.
Think of if we didn’t have internet and only snail mail! Or way back when a goodbye was almost always for life if someone moved more than a few days travel away. This kind of friendship is so unique and a true blessing from God (and technology).
the day we left there last week I said that no matter old I get or how many times we do it, saying goodbye to my family is always hard and I always cry a little. It’s less than it used to be though, but still hard. Even with as stressful as being home is, my heart still aches for that familiar hug.
I am glad that you felt that after being back there with everyone. As hard as it is, it’s a good ache!
love you.
I’m with you. :) I’m all hugs and tears when my times of good-bye show up. But I love the way your perspective is on it. :) I’ll keep swinging my revolving door too! :)
“I’m grateful I have people worth aching over.” Such a good statement…
Thanks for sharing your heart…again…Love it!!
ICAM
I totally agree with you. Goodbyes are painful, but unless we had loved ones to say goodbye to, we wouldn’t experience that. I think leaving without having someone to say goodbye to can be even lonlier sometimes.
I’m just looking forward to saying Hello. Again. Finally!
Love and hugs from VA!
I remember a post of yours from a long time ago about wanting to keep your heart tender and not let it grow cold and hard. That it was a choice, and I think you said, a battle.
I see a connection between your willingness to do these maybe even-harder-than-before goodbyes and your word for the year. RISK.
The German word for risk is “risiko.” Interesting, kind of a play on words there, huh, like there’s RISK in the word GO.
Alece,
I love your analogy of the revolving door. I can’t imagine how many times yours has turned, but I do remember being there with you for a few of them. Laughter, hugs and tears.
I can’t wait to see you again for the ever revolving Hello door!
@hannahruthie says:
You just wrote down all of my current heart-thoughts. I just left college yesterday to be at home for the summer. My roommates became 2 of my best friends this year. One of them I won’t see for about 5 months. Other friends from my dorm I’m not sure I’ll ever see, or I will see very seldom. And then there’s my best friend Mallory who is in Japan… I feel like I’ve been saying a lot of goodbyes lately. But I like what you said about having a reason for your heart to ache. I would take all this aching any day if it means that I have those friends that I never want to say goodbye to.
I read a quote today that is perfect for goodbyes.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss