four-minute friday: risk
Go.
The first two months of 2010—can you believe it’s the end of February already?!—have held lots of risks for me. Y’all remember that’s my one word focus for the year, right? (What? I’m living in Georgia. I can say y’all.)
My year of risk is well underway.
I went on vacation with a bunch of near-strangers.
I rappelled 100 feet into a Mexican canyon.
I’ve intentionally endured quite a few awkward situations.
But those have paled in comparison to the risks I’ve taken with my heart.
I’ve prayed risky prayers. I’ve been more authentic in the moment. I’ve wrestled with truly forgiving my wayward husband.
And as I look toward the horizon, there is a lot that makes me very nervous.
Like the six week ministry fundraising trip I’m embarking on this spring. By myself. It feels incredibly daunting after always having a wingman (who was also the extrovert and public speaker of the two of us).
I signed up for a half-marathon. Which I fear will be a health risk more than anything else. But I am determined to cross the finish line no matter what.
And I’m going to continue risking big with my heart. Although it hasn’t started getting any easier yet.
Your turn to check in.
How have you done with your one word?
I’d love to see us rally around each other to cheer one another on!
Done.
I am so proud of you, frass. And i think you’re going to find at the end of this that you are riskier than you think. You’re braver than you think. You’re more of a speaker than you think. Just because it’s scary, it doesn’t mean it’s not in you.
Because I see SO MUCH in you.
@gritandglory says:
i so can’t wait to hug you.
and i loved hearing your “gracious” progress report on your blog!
@cassgirl says:
You already have extroverted wingman in San Diego… I just chatted with your first meeting. Ms. Timmons. (Betty) She just retired from the missionary field after 43 years, at the age of 84 from Honduras. She’s a close family heart friend. I totally talked about you tonight and she asked me “when Ms. Alece comes, bring her to my home, I want to chew some ministry fat with her, I want to her heart …. I so want to hear heart” So there you go!!!! love you!
@gritandglory says:
love this. and your email!
@cassgirl says:
Still brainstorming…. Love you!
Man, 15% of the year is behind us already, and look at all you’ve done!!! I’m challenged and convicted.
My word is “More.” I MUST have so, so much more of Him. The key there is less of ME. Which means the Holy Spirit doing some (more) deep digging and rooting out. Not. so. fun. But necessary. And freeing. Whew.
You are so going to be amazed on this upcoming ministry trip, I just feel it. Joshua 3:5 comes to mind.
@gritandglory says:
your word (and focus) is so challenging…
My word was discipline. And I stink at it. Had pop-tarts for lunch & TOTALLY loved it! Are you coming up to the Pacific Northwest?
@gritandglory says:
MAY!!!
(and how can i best cheer you on in the discipline department?)
You can pray…that would be so awesome! Looking forward to May – but also thinking we may be traveling to SA then…we’re expecting to get our referral in 2-3 weeks, and travel would follow w/in 2-4 weeks of that. I’ll keep you posted on that -but would so love to meet you face to face!
My word this year is faith. It is being tested daily! UGH. Looking to God is all one can do! God is growing my faith! Praise.
@gritandglory says:
it’s crazy how once we choose to focus on something, it gets challenged so often!
walk on.
I’m such a mess. I actually had to go back to the comment section on Lindsey’s blog post to see what I said my word was! #fail~ (I bet I’ll remember now!)
But even though I may not be on top of things, God is ever faithful. My word is BUILD – build on the foundation that God has put in place. The building is slow but steady. God reveals each step in His time. It’s an exciting journey.
@gritandglory says:
“the building is slow but steady” – that’s something i have to remind myself of constantly. i need to find joy in the journey. though the process is painful, it’s for my good.
No worries Cindy, I totally had to go back to the One Word blog and see what my word was. It was confidence. Last year was such a rough year for me that at my lowest points I felt as if though I had no self-confidence, I had no idea who I was anymore. But praise God this year has been so different. I am leading a bible study group on the book True Measure of a Woman by Lisa Bevere and it has been amazing. Every week I feel more and more confident, my worth has been restored in my eyes through God’s healing of my heart and in turn I have been able to help others.
This season I had made tons of girlfriends, booked various trips to the beach with my bestfriends and am going to California (I live in Texas) this summer for the Godchicks Conference…can’t wait!
Everything that was once lost, He has restored and multiplied. I love it!
@gritandglory says:
WOW WOW WOW!
Courage: Whoa man has this been tested! I have to daily remember Joshua 1:9. But God gave me the courage to speak more honestly within relationships, courage to get out of bed when it hurt, courage to finish my thesis (oral defense is Tuesday!), courage to go see an alternative medicine dr, courage to share the gospel just because I was convicted that I hadn’t done so in such a long time, and God continues to call out for me to be courageous in more things still.
So following Jesus ain’t for wimps apparently!
@gritandglory says:
love hearing the ways you’ve been courageous, melissa. so so proud of you!
“sterkte” for your oral defense on tuesday! that’s one of my favorite afrikaans words that doesn’t really have an english equivalent. it directly translates to “strength” and is used when we would say “good luck” — but i love the meaning and is so much more fitting than good luck. strength and courage for your oral defense!
Sterkle: I love that word too. I have found myself in situations where “good luck” is the common response and I think, I don’t , believe in luck so do I just say it to be curteous, do I say I’ll be praying or do I say nothing?. So strength is a great word. I may try using sterkle sometime.
thank you for your support and I am thankful that God has allowed our paths to cross in cyberspace to bring encouragement.
@atangie says:
word = stand
considering the knock-out beat down we have received this far this year and the fact that we have not given up I would say glory be to God that I am still standing.
Oh, the people are going to LOVE you!
Therefore take up the full armor of God, tha you may be able to resist in the evil day, and HAVING DONE EVERYTING, to stand firm. STAND FIRM therefore…. – Eph. 6:13-14
Just some encouragement. Keep standing. I’ve found that, for me anyway, sometimes the continuing to get up is just as hard, if not harder, than the standing. I don’t know your situation, Angie, but I pray with you and stand beside you (in virtuality, of course!).
Consider yourself hugged!
@atangie says:
Wow, Terri, talk about some affirmation! You are great. That is the very portion of scripture that led me to this word – stand – at the turn of the New Year. I receive your virtual hug; how sweet you are. The prayers are sooool very welcome and greatly appreciated. May God pour out on you a one hundred fold return on your investment of encouragement into my life.
@gritandglory says:
i am so sorry to hear the year has been so hard this year. i am standing right beside you.
@atangie says:
I know you are… Having bunches of people like you alongside us makes it bearable. Thank you, friend.
My word is JOY.
The past two weeks have been very difficult (divorce stuff, lawyers…the whole fallout). In some ways I feel like I have gone backward in my healing process, rather than forward.
But…I have experienced…have seen…JOY….even in the midst of the pain. My family, a new friend…taking my dog to the dog park….listening to Train’s “Soul Sister”. : )
I am realizing more and more that JOY is not found in circumstances, but in knowing the Lord–in the very personal, intimate way I am finding Him–in the midst of the deepest pain I’ve ever known.
Hugs to you Alece!! Keep taking RISKS! : )
@gritandglory says:
i am so sorry for how difficult the past few weeks have been again, mishel. i understand all too well that vicious cycle. just when i feel like i’m getting stronger… i find myself in a very dark place again. and while i know it’s hard for me to grasp this in those moments of darkness, i do know it to be true (at least cognitively) — the fact that you are in that place does not mean that you have gone backwards in your healing process.
while we wish grief were linear, it isn’t. it’s cyclical. i hate that. i want to see natural progression. i want to know that i’ve moved past something. but the way grief works, i’ll be back to that place again eventually. the “proof” of healing is that the repeat of stages within the cycle get further and further apart.
a counselor friend of mine wrote a wonderful series of posts on the topic of grief. maybe these will be helpful for your heart. start at the bottom when you link on over: http://traceepersiko.wordpress.com/category/grief/
in the midst of such ache and such darkness, i am in awe at how you’ve seen and clung to joy. that you’re able to acknowledge that it’s not found in circumstances but in Him. that is huge, mishel. huge.
hug.
word: TRUST
progress: tough as nails! man God is literally forcing me into positions where I have no choice but to trust Him. I hate it and love it at the same time. whether its trusting Him for a job when I graduate in may or starting a small group for younger singles once I’m settled, i’m losing my mind over not having control of how fast things progress. but He’s slowly reminding me that life isn’t about me, what I want, or my timetable. God’s in control. He’s got me and whatever else i’m worried about.
much like you, i know that more is to come as the year continues so we’ll keep lifting each other up!
^_^ love
@gritandglory says:
your commitment to focus on trust is SO brave. it’s a dangerous thing to pray that you would trust Him more… because it doesn’t mean He just infuses us with trust (oh how i wish that were so). instead He increasingly puts us into situations that will require us to trust Him. so hard. so challenging.
what you are doing is no small thing and i’m so proud of you. and i know He is too.
@bahava says:
my word: joy
I’ve been loving keeping track of all the little, random, seemingly insignificant things that bring me joy (like being called miss tiger!!), and soaking them up as they come. can’t wait to see how God continues to open my eyes to this word and as I learn to find it even in the hard–because that’s when it’s easy to lose track of it for me.
@gritandglory says:
you have always struck me as someone of great joy. even in the difficulty of the past year for you, i have been so amazed to see His joy overflowing in your life.
i learn from you, katy.
@maryjohess says:
My word was discipline.
And I’ve done MUCH better this year than in times past.
Two months in and I’m still reading my Bible through this year and sticking with the reading plan (I’m in Deuteronomy – progress, people).
I’m still exercising and watching my food intake – and I’ve lost almost 10 pounds. And I feel GREAT! I’d love to run a half marathon but have no clue how to train or do that. I’m not sure I’m a runner. :)
This is the first time I’ve stuck with these 2 things this long. There’s a different “feel” to things this year – more of a determination than I’ve had in times past.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
@gritandglory says:
way to be, mary! you are rockin’ the discipline!
My word – GROW. Is it supposed to be uncomfortable? I mean, when you’re physically growing as a kid, I know sometimes there are growing pains, but doesn’t most of it happen without you being aware of it? How I wish it were that way in the spiritual realm! But, NOOOOO! In my kitchen I have a plaque that says, “So long as you’re green you grow. When you think you’re ripe, you begin to get rotten!” It was my grandmother’s. I’m realizing just how green I am, how much I need to grow. On the other hand, I’ve been placed in some situations that have shown me the growth that has taken place since the last time I encountered the same type of thing. That’s encouraging. I just want to remain eager to grow, but it can be hard to be eager about what’s uncomfortable. I want to delve in without reservation or hesitation, but I still find myself holding back a lot. We’ll see what the remainder of the year holds.
Alece, as far as RISK goes, I think you will end the year and be amazed at the work God has done in you. I don’t know that risk ever gets any easier, because by definition it’s dangerous. There’s always something to lose or it wouldn’t be a risk. Maybe the part that gets easier is how quickly you are able to move to a place of trust, rather than feeling like the risk is easier!
Hugs from VA!
@gritandglory says:
you are so right. we feel the stretching when we grow… and that is uncomfortable. and sometimes downright painful. love hearing your continued willingness to grow even in the face of all that, though.
and i am so encouraged by your words about risk. you’re right – “by definition it’s dangerous” – that made me smile. because i would never consider myself a danger-chaser. but i guess i’m choosing to be that right now. and i pray that my growth in this area comes in my ability to more quickly move to a place of trust — mmmm… so good.
@chrystieecole says:
Hmm…my word was joy. And slowly, but surely, joy is being renewed in my heart.
@gritandglory says:
i can’t wait to see your joyful face in a few weeks!
My word is “hope” and so far it has reminded me to release and to question where I place my hope. There have been a bunch of times where I have to undo the patterns that have been in place for however long and that sucks. Not to undo it…but to understand that I have been in “that place” for too long. Yay for learning new things though, right?
@gritandglory says:
“to question where i place my hope” — wow. that is a deep and weighty journey. you have so much courage and resolve, applepie. so much.
I loved this post. It makes me think about how comfortable I am and how little I risk. Praying for you as you step out for Him.
@gritandglory says:
thank you, stacy. i so appreciate your prayers!
@traceepersiko says:
you have risked your ace off, friend!! you have embraced risk most than anyone i know!! so encouraging. i have a whole list of “risk” i want to dare you to do!! Why can’t the risk card be played for Nevis?!!!
@gritandglory says:
if only we could do that for our birthdays… ::daydreaming::
embraced risk more than anyone you know?! rilly?!
and… what’s your word for march?
my word was discipline.
i have done well up to this point. i have committed to do the one-year Bible and I added that I would not miss a day (in year’s past i have had to play catch-up quite often).
@gritandglory says:
good for you, jess! that’s awesome!
@danielleH says:
wow friend.
six week trip?! half marathon?!
i’m so proud of you…you amaze me.
@gritandglory says:
now i need to start training! yikes!
What was my one word? I feel like this year started out with “bold” and “teachable” and…I can’t remember which one I named as my “one” word. It’s been SUCH a year already! I’ve been bold AND teachable. Taking a Biblical counseling class through my church and bold – God gave me the words to share with a friend who was contemplating leaving her husband (they’re still getting a divorce) – sharing with her in a way that was truth, in love even if painful. That was big. Teachable? I’m still showing up for my class. :)
Really exciting to read your year so far, too. Still trying to figure out if I can do you any good if you head this way in March/April. God is definitely faithful and that’s a good thing because it really seems like a lot of avenues have just shut down!!!! Ugh.
@gritandglory says:
good for you for speaking the truth to your friend even when it was really hard. that definitely takes some boldness!
(and my PNW trip is gonna be may now… had to back it up a bit, just FYI.)
my word was different : this year has been different.
different in my daily walk with God, in my different outlook of life, different view of leadership and being different in everything that I do.
I love that even though I am different God still allows me to be real, to be raw and still be the jacey-bird that I am created to be in a different way.
i love you <3
@gritandglory says:
love how you are embracing “different’ this year! so proud of you, jaceybird!
My word – was pouring out. Been poured into so long, figured it was about time to turn things around.
I went on a trip to “over there”. Shared my heart’s passion with different people hoping to get help doing what I am doing. I did. But at one place, I was met by tears and the comment, “We have this girl… 22 years old… and we think this is happening in her life….abuse…. We’ve been praying for three days that someone would come who could share their story of healing with her. (No, this is not a country where you can just “simply” stop the situation.)
What could I say? But I had never done that before – not to that degree. Not face to face to a desperatly hurting person who doesn’t even believe. But I did. I sat face to face inches from her face after I poured out my story while she told me she had suffered similar things, yet would not talk more. She told me, “If you really love me like you say you do, just pray that God will let me die.” I sat nose to nose with her and shared my hope, ripped open my heart to the hurt God has healed me from and shared my hope. Then handed her back to the long term worker who sat with us.
Pouring out. Didn’t think God would take me up on it so fast! Not an easy thing to do for me either – to walk back into pain in order to minister… but it was and is such a priviledge. I was honest in front of a group of people about my past, too… and ended up with spending time individually with them… they wanted to be honest with me because they hadn’t had that chance in a long time. Poured out.
God was talking to me about wounds. He called me to a life of wounding… but He also called His Son to being wounded… and by His wounds we are healed. Perhaps also through my wounds other can be healed… not an easy road to walk, but one that is an honor.
@gritandglory says:
wow. ellie, this was incredible to hear. you are pouring out and being poured out. He is making beautiful life out of your brokenness.
thank you for telling me about your trip. i can’t imagine being in that situation, having that conversation. and i know it took a lot of faith and courage to open your heart the way you did.
@mjdagenhart says:
I am SO proud of you! I can’t wait to see what else this year has in store for you.
My word is forgiveness. When I made it my goal, I was thinking forgiveness of everything that happened last year. But I’ve realized that last year is just the tip of the iceberg. How can I even begin to forgive those trespasses when I haven’t forgiven my deepest hurts of years before?
So now I’m working on facing those, one by one.
I’m still working on the post that you suggested awhile ago…I was making good progress until I got to the part that my heart didn’t want to put into writing yet.
@gritandglory says:
talk about choosing the hard! girl, i am so proud of you for making the choice to face and feel those things from your past… and then let go of them. i know it’s not easy. i know it’s not quick. but i know you’re going to experience such freedom.
My words were
Newness… Result: I have had to buy all new pants because I busted out of my old ones because I am 9 months away from 40 so I am eating whatever I want before then :)
Kindness… Result: I about nutted up on a driver during our snow storm in a parking lot.
Hmmm not doing so well…
Ok, so today, I’m picking a new word: Do-over :)