feeling home

fire

There is something so healing and redemptive about spending an evening surrounded by South Africans… The languages, the laughter, the easy fireside conversations, the familiar sights/sounds/tastes/smells, the sense of camaraderie, and of course the abundance of meat on the grill, makes me feel home. Makes me feel hope.

There is also something about it that stirs up old demons—insecurities, failures, hurts—and leaves my heart feeling raw and exposed. I am reminded of all that I miss, of all that I lost, of all that (and those) I failed, of all that was but will never be again. I am reminded of a life gone by, a life that I loved deeply.

Bittersweet, yes, but I’m thankful for the vulnerability my heart feels in those moments. Because it’s proof of life. And it makes the contrasted sense of redemption that much more beautiful.

Much has been lost, but much has been redeemed. Tears and all, my heart feels at home. Thankful for my newfound South African community here in Nashville…

Comments

4 Responses to “feeling home”
  1. I’d shared this as a status update on Facebook, and immediately realized it was more of a blog post… So I’m sharing it here as well…

  2. Mark Allman
    @
    says:

    Alece,

    I am glad you have a community there. I think part of life is learning to live with regrets… that those regrets and things lost are woven into who we are and make us as much as the things we celebrate.

    God is the master weaver and I believe He can take a thread of failure and make it into something beautiful over time. He is the Master Carpenter and he can use tools that are not perfect to fashion what He wishes.

    I’m sure this side of heaven you may not know the great impact of things you have done but I’m sure they will continue to cascade through generations.

    Relish your journey Alece. It’s still being woven.

  3. Dre
    @
    says:

    mmmmm…..

    aint nothin’ like a good braii…. love it. (:

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