risky faith

Remember when I said I wanted to trust God for even greater things?

Apparently God was listening.

Our financial situation at Thrive Africa is extremely tight right now.

I wrote an email to our partners, letting them know what our needs are and how they can help. It was an unbelievably challenging letter to write, even though I’ve been raising funds for missions since, ohhhhhh, 1992.

This email took me waaaaay outside my comfort zone.

It’s the biggest, boldest ask in Thrive’s history.

We are trusting God for $80K in new support by June 1.

And my faith is being stretched to almost-painful extremes.

But I know God has greater things still in store for Thrive.

So we’re moving forward in active trust.

I’m working on the details of my huge fundraising trip that starts in just a couple weeks. I’ll be in Tennessee, Washington, Oregon, California, Colorado, and Virginia. (Let me know if you want to help!)

We launched a new website that shows how you can impact South Africa, and each week we’re going to celebrate 10 Buck Tuesday.

If you’ve been around a while, you know I don’t ask for prayer very often.

But I would really appreciate your prayers right now.

For Thrive. For provision. For my trip.

And for my faith to be strong in the One who is strongest.

Easy Links:
Big, Bold Ask
Thrive Africa
Fundraising Campaign
10 Buck Tuesday
Thrive Online Store

what happens in nashvegas…

I’m Nashville-bound today.

It’s gonna be an eventful week with some incredible friends.

On Saturday I’ll be conquering a half-marathon.

(Please Note: By conquering I mean walking.)

(Please Also Note: Remember my commitment to risk more this year? Yeah, this is that health risk I told you about!)

I only have two goals for the Half —

1.  Cross the finish line.
2.  Have fun along the way.

By Saturday night, I will most likely be aching in places I didn’t know could ache.

But I have a feeling the sense of accomplishment will be worth it. I’m hoping so anyway.

It’s a risk I have to take.

I’m banking on the boost of strength and encouragement that will come as I cross the finish line. I need it because of the main purpose of my visit to Nashville.

It’s the start of an 8-week fundraising trip for Thrive Africa.

(You should seriously see me trying to figure out how to pack for eight weeks! Oi vey.)

There is a lot going on in my heart in regards to this trip. A lot. There’s a veritable tsunami of emotions, hopes, fears, and vulnerabilities crashing around inside me.

So it’s just as well that I have 13.1 miles to talk to Jesus about it all.

My heart needs the workout just as much as my body does.

Well, please excuse me while I go wrestle a few remaining items into my suitcase.

I’ll see you in a few months, Atlanta!

If you’re anywhere near Nashville,
come say “hi!” on Thursday night.

from start to finish

When I decided to do the Half-Marathon, I knew it would be hard.

But I also knew it was something I had to do. For me.

It took just about as much effort for me to sign up as it did for me to cross the finish line. A very different kind of effort, but very similar all the same.

I have some health issues that I knew would make it incredibly challenging, so I really went back and forth about whether or not I should do it. As soon as I decided to go for it, I announced it publicly.

Which I rarely do.

For lots of reasons.

But I knew that saying it out loud would help with my follow-through. And I knew the accountability would provide some motivation for me.

A lot happened between the day I signed up and the day of the race. A lot.

Several friends expressed their concerns about me doing it. But for reasons I couldn’t really explain, I knew I needed to.

On race day, it may have taken more courage to join the crowd at the starting line as it did for me to cross the finish.

But by God’s grace, I did both.

And I did both for me.

I needed to tackle an unbelievably difficult goal, and unquestionably complete it.

I needed to feel like I accomplished something.

I needed to see a finish line and actually reach it.

And when I did…

For a few minutes, I felt like I could conquer the world.

And that was so worth every risk and every mile.

What’s something you did
just for you recently?

friendships lost

My heart hurts tonight for friends I’ve lost. And after spending hours looking at pictures, stalking websites, and wiping my tears, I’m hoping my heart will find solace with some words…

When my husband walked away, so did some friends.

Some, I think, simply didn’t know what to say, so they chose to say nothing. And they still say nothing.

Some, I think, felt uncomfortable because of their continued friendship with Niel. As if it had to be one or the other.

Some, I think, made assumptions rather than asked questions, So they passed judgments about me, my character, and my heart.

Some… I don’t know that I’ll ever understand what happened or why. They’re just… gone.

And it hurts. Deeply.

Tonight I let myself feel it. I let the tears come for friendships lost… For histories that seem to be washed away by futures that will never be… For not knowing if the missing is mutual… For what was… For what is…

Tonight I talked to God about it—about them—for maybe the first time. And I asked Him to help me trust Him with this, even though—or maybe, because—I don’t understand it.

Tonight I’m trying choosing to “rejoice with those who rejoice”. They all seem very happy, and I want to simply be happy with and for them.

Tonight my heart is letting go… And saying goodbye to those I never got a chance to.

And I pray I never stop loving. Stop letting people in. Stop trusting. Stop showing my heart.

Because I know love isn’t love if there’s no risk involved.

it’s time for a check-up

Isn’t it crazy to think that 2010 is more than half over? Seven months gone; only five months left. Time to take stock. Focus. Realign as needed.

I wonder how many of you have been working toward your one-word goal.

Actually, I wonder how many of you even remember your one-word goal.

(Go back to the comments here and here if you need a reminder…)

Mine is risk.

In all honesty and fairness, while I’ve tried to stay focused on risking more this year, there are entire days weeks that go by when I don’t even think about it.

I don’t usually wake up wanting to risk that day. This isn’t one of those things that gets easier the more you do it. Every single time is hard.

But still… I continue to challenge myself to risk.

When faced with a decision or a situation, I can’t help but think… RISK! It has caused me to do things like have hard conversations, spend time with challenging people, do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do, hit publish on especially-vulnerable blog posts.

I should be keeping a “risk list” somewhere… because sitting here now, I’m having a hard time thinking of all the specific ways I’ve risked. Even though I know have. I blame it on my Fuzzy Brain Syndrome. So, starting right now… I’m keeping a “risk list.” Somebody ask me in a couple weeks to make sure I’m still doing it, k?

What about you?

Are you still focusing on your… focus? Are you regularly doing what you set out to do with your one-word goal?

Maybe you weren’t around The Grit in January and didn’t pick a word for your year. It’s not too late to start. Choose a single word to focus on for the remaining five months of 2010.

Let’s finish this year with intentionality.

risk is calling

What will it be today?

sweet victory

My friend Laura summited Mount Kilimanjaro yesterday. I got an email from her not long after she got back down the mountain. It was incredible to get to experience the sweet joy of that victory with her, even from an ocean away.

In her email, she tried to wrap words around the dichotomy of what she was feeling. She described both the painful difficulty of the final push to the summit and the overwhelming sense of accomplishment that came with it. She was in serious physical agony (and would be for some time still), but she almost didn’t even care. The taste of victory was just that sweet. She had pushed herself hard, for a very long time (the rigorous training, the grueling hike, the labored breathing in air so thin…) — and the few moments she had on the top of that mountain peak made it all worthwhile. She was on top of the world in every sense.

I’m sure Laura is sore today. I bet she aches in places she didn’t know could ache. But I also bet that she feels amazing! To have set such a challenging goal and to have accomplished it?! Wow. What a matchless feeling!

I’m feeling challenged to push myself harder in at least one thing today. Time to take stock of my commitment to risk this year and be intentional to actually do it. Even when I don’t want to. Especially when I don’t want to.

I’m also feeling challenged to celebrate my victories. I can be so hard on myself, so focused on all I’m not doing as well/much/hard as I should, that I don’t rejoice over what I’ve succeeded in. Even the smallest victories are worth celebrating. Like the fact I’ve blogged 4 times this week. (A “norm” for me just 6 weeks ago, but impossible to do lately…) Or that I’m pushing myself out of my introverted comfort zone at a time when I just want to crawl inside my shell.

I’d love to hear some of your recent successes—big or small. Pause long enough to rejoice over your accomplishments, thank God for the grace to get there, and let others encourage you from the sidelines.

Let’s celebrate our victories together!

trusting God

I woke up with this phrase running through my mind—

“Trust in God, and trust also in Me.”

Jesus said that. Right after He said “Don’t let your hearts be troubled.” Which means I’m allowing my heart to be troubled when I choose not to trust in Him.

I need to hear that again.

I’m allowing my heart to be troubled when I choose not to trust Him.

I’m gonna stop right there, because that one sentence gives me plenty to think about and try to put into action today.

Sheesh… if only trust were easy.

And if only I hadn’t chose to risk more this year…

my love/hate relationship with risk

Risk.

I say it under my breath as though it’s a a four-letter word.

Well it is a four-letter word, but sometimes it really does feel like a curse.

When I decided to make risk my one word focus for 2010, I knew it would be hard. I knew I might even regret it. I had no idea it would challenge literally ever fiber of my being.

My heart has been stretched threadbare this year.

And in ways no one will ever comprehend, simply waking up some mornings has felt like a painful risk.

Never mind my health issues. Or the ongoing pain of my divorce. Or a long, grueling fundraising trip, only to have to close the ministry because of a lack of funds.

My heart can only take so much.

And I seemingly kept inviting more with my commitment to risk.

I don’t necessarily think the year would’ve been easier had I not made that choice. That’s not at all what I’m saying. But I do know that I willfully leaned into hardship because of it. I stared the fiery furnace in the eye and said “But even if He does not…”

And then He did not.

Risk.

Oh how I hate you.

And yet, somehow, with tears in my eyes… Oh how I love you.

I may have been stretched to my limits, but I discovered my limits went further than I ever anticipated. I may have hurt more deeply than I imagined possible, but the plumb line of pain showed me just how deep my heart runs.

I may have tentatively opened my heart a bit at a time, but I’ve experienced the matchless gift of being loved well. I may have trusted again only to have it stolen or abused at times, but I learned that I haven’t lost that skill entirely.

I may have held my breath as I stepped into potentially joy-filled moments, only to realize I still have laughter in me. I may have doubted more than I believed, but I’ve seen what a mustard-seed-sized dollop of faith in a mind-blowingly big God can do.

Oh risk… You’ve been worth it.

I’ve been worth it.

:::

Tell me about your word… your year… your heart.
And start thinking about your one word for 2011,
but don’t tell us what it is yet!

one word 2011

I’ve never been a New Year’s resolutions girl.

I just can’t bring myself to do it. I think I tried once. And a few months later when I couldn’t even remember what my resolutions were — or where my list was — I felt like a miserable failure.

And I’ve never resolutioned again.

But last year I decided to choose one word to focus on. My own personal non-resolution resolution.

No list. No specifics. No goals. Just one word.

Risk.

And I stayed mindful of it all year.

It helped me make decisions. Take steps. Share my heart. It spurred me on. Challenged me. Inspired me. I loved it and I hated it, but I didn’t forget it.

It was just one word.

But it made a huge difference in my year. In my life.

Many of you joined me in the one word challenge. All year, I journeyed with you through your blog posts, twitter statuses, and conversations. I watched as you embraced your word. As you allowed it to lead you through your year. As God used it to mold and shape you.

One word.

One simple, powerful word.

It’s time to choose a new one for the new year.

I finally settled on mine. It felt like a difficult decision. I had lists of options. All good words. All things I want to be, or live, or do. But ultimately, I needed to choose just one.

And in line with the rest of 2010, I had to risk even in this.

Which, after the year I’ve had, feels like no small thing.

But I felt like God was drawing me to this word. Like it was less about me choosing it and more about it choosing me.

So I held my breath, shut my welly eyes tight, and committed to it.

Will you consider one-wording it with us this year?

Maybe a solitary word grabs your heart right this moment. Maybe, like me, you need to make a list and then ask Him to guide you from there.

And then let’s walk this road together. As a community. As a family.

What do you want to focus on in 2011?

Who do you want to be?

You can do this.

We can do this.

Together.

One Word 2011.

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