i looked for God
I looked for God this year.
I found Him in the breathtaking coast of the Pacific Northwest, the smile of my godson, the matchless feeling of being believed in, and the beautiful liturgy of Communion.
I saw Him in friends who journey with me for the long haul, from mourning with me when I mourn all the way to rejoicing with me when I rejoice… and back again.
I found Him in the the tear-stained pillowcase of a broken heart. And in the stomach-hurts-can’t-breathe laughter of pure joy.
I saw Him in the glimmers of hope awakened in my heart, the generosity of friends acting as His hands of provision, and the signs of autumn promising me that this season is drawing to a close.
I looked for God this year.
I saw Him in gifts given and taken away… In endings and beginnings, doors closing and opening, friendships starting and ceasing.
I found Him in the life and death of one of His beloved servants.
I saw Him in the small minutia of my every day, discovering again how much He cares about my small things.
I found Him in pain-ridden arms held high, music that steals my breath and draws my heart ever closer to Him, and a candlelit gymnasium cathedral on Christmas Eve.
I saw Him in my own desperate need for grace.
I looked for God this year.
And looking will remain my lifelong journey…
one word 2012
I have had so many incredible conversations about One Word over the past few weeks. I love hearing and reading about people’s journeys this past year and how God’s used their word to shape their life.
A. Ma. Zing.
If you write a year-end post, make sure you come back here to link up. (Which reminds me… I still need to write mine!)
I’m working on a new website for One Word 2012… I’m so sorry I haven’t rolled it out yet. I’d hoped to, but… well… technical and schedule difficulties prevailed…
In the meantime, start thinking about your word for next year.
And have an amazing Christmas, my friends.
God is with us!
one word 2011 wrap-up
December is here. (Can you believe it?) And it’s got me wondering how your One Word journey has been.
I’m still amazed at the 300-people-strong community that rallied around the One Word challenge this year. I hope each of you, in unique and different ways, experienced your word come to life.
We would all benefit from hearing each other’s journeys.
So do us all a favor — yourself included — and make time this month to write a post about your own personal One Word journey.
The places it took you — inwardly and outwardly…
How it shaped your year…
How it shaped you…
And where it leaves you as the year comes to an end.
Then come back and link up your Wrap-Up post so we can rally around one another for one last surge of encouragement, inspiration, and challenge as we conclude One Word 2011.
Don’t forget that the year isn’t over yet. Be intentional everyday about finishing strong.
You’ve got this.
And you’ve got an army of One Worders standing with you.
I’ve got some exciting things in the works for One Word 2012!
If you haven’t already, start thinking about your word for next year.
looking
Look.
Four letters.
One word.
My OneWord.
This whole year I’ve wanted to remain mindful of my need to look for God in the midst of the grit. Because, at least for me, it takes an intentional choice to seek Him where He seems nowhere to be found.
I’ve slacked off lately.
And with only 46 days left in the year (?!), I want to end well. Strong. Focused. Determined.
So I am looking.
I choose to seek His face not His hand.
His heart not His gifts.
Him.
Above all else.
“Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”
-Psalm 34:5
One Word Mile-Marker: Halfway
It’s June. The year is half over.
So it’s time to check in with everyone for a mid-year One Word 2011 update.
I would love to hear how your word has developed in you over the past six months, how it has impacted you and the ways it’s taken on significance in your life…
How has your word taken shape? And how has it shaped you?
Does it mean something different to you now than you thought it would?
How has it steered your decisions, plans, and actions?
How do you remain intentional about it? How can you continue to focus on it during the rest of the year?
This is a mile-marker.
To look back and see how far you’ve come, but also to help you set your sights forward on the six months that lie ahead of you.
What do you want to do differently with the second half of the year?
It’s a way to take your pulse, honestly process how you’re really doing, and purposefully step into the rest of the year.
Would you write a blog post about your One Word?
And then come back here and link up so the whole community can read it?
I think it would be incredible if each of us took time to read at least 5 update posts from this link list. We can speak words of life and truth to each other’s hearts, and rally around one another in encouragement and support.
You can do this.
We can do this.
Together, let’s finish strong.
_________________
Write your update blog post, then come back and add the link here. (Use the permalink to the specific post, not just your homepage.)
look up
My One Word this year is look. And I’ve gotta be honest, I haven’t done a very good job of looking lately…
I stumbled back upon these amazing words, emailed to me by a friend months ago. It was written in 1865 and still speaks so clearly to my heart in 2011.
: : :
“Look up and lift up your heads,
because your redemption is drawing near!”
-Luke 21:28
In whatever state, in whatever place, into whatever condition we may be brought this year—let us seek grace to follow our Lord’s loving advice, and ”look up!”
Look up—for this will keep…
the head from swimming,
the heart from sinking,
the knees from trembling,
the feet from slipping, and
the hands from hanging down!
Look up…
for all that you need;
from all that you fear;
through all that would obstruct your way.
Do not look at your sin—it will discourage you!
Do not look at your self—it will distress you!
Do not look at Satan-–he will bewilder you!
Do not look to men—they will deceive or disappoint you!
Do not look at your trials—they will deject you!
Look only, look always, look intently—to Jesus!
Run looking, work looking, fight looking, suffer looking, live looking, and die looking—to Jesus, who is at God’s right hand in glory.
Oh, look, look, look to Jesus!
[From James Smith's "A New Year's Motto", 1865]
taking shape
[click the image to see it larger]
You know what that is?
It’s not just a random mish-mosh of words.
They are your words. Our words.
Those are the One Words of our community.
And there’s just something amazing and beautiful to me about seeing them all together like that.
Together.
Just like we are.
How is your One Word shaping you?
eyes wide open
I’m living life with my eyes wide open this year.
Okay, if I’m being most honest—I’m trying to.
Sometimes.
Other times, it just feels too hard. Because I don’t like what I see. Because it leaves me with more questions than answers. Because it’s blurry and I crave clarity.
But sometimes… I get it right.
I force myself to look closely, and I see unexpected glimpses of His grace.
I see Him in the mail I open, filled with love from miles away. He shows up in hot frothy beverages, snow-capped mountains, a solid night of sleep. I spot Him in the soft, cozy blanket that keeps me company on a sick day. I catch His smile in the faces of my friends and in the music that makes me dance without even thinking about it.
He is here.
I see Him.
And He shows Himself to me so uniquely, so perfectly, so just-for-me, that I know… He sees me.
He sees me.
He. Sees. Me.
That puts a whole new perspective on my looking. It shifts my heart from seeking a God who is far-off to looking for Him in the most personal details of my life. It reminds me that He cares about my small things.
So today… Today I am definitely living with my eyes wide open.
I want to see the One who sees me.
Where have you unexpectedly seen Him lately?
one word: one thing
I’ve had so many conversations in the past month about our One Words. On Twitter. Via email. In person. One on one. As a group. It’s been incredible. Really. Absolutely incredible.
I’m amazed that people are even still thinking about it, never mind talking about it. Not in the pat-myself-on-the-back sorta way, because I assure you I am well aware that I have very little to do with it. I’m just astounded at the ways — big and small — that God continues to use this in people’s lives. Including my own.
I think maybe every 3 months I’ll put up one of those linky things again so we can easily read “official” updates from each other. But I really hope you’ll blog pretty often about how your word is shaping you.
We all know that “two are better than one” and that there is great power in community. Team up with one other One Worder to journey together this whole year. That will look different for each pair, but you could regularly check in with each other, ask specific questions, pray faithfully for one another, send verses and encouragement, etc. It could be someone you know online or someone in your local area. If you want to find someone to team up with, a good start would be to read through the posts linked up on our community page.
Someone asked me the other day if it was too late to choose a word. Of course not! If you haven’t yet, quiet your heart and listen for the word God is whispering to you. If you already have your word, encourage someone to join you. Pick one person you know and specifically invite them to join you in this challenge for the rest of the year.
28 days in, I still find myself actively looking. One specific thing I’m doing is to end each day by thinking through how I saw and experienced God that day. Some nights it’s easier to recall than others. As for tonight?
I looked for God today. I saw Him in a friendship that is so beautifully comfortable. There in that exhale for my heart, He was unmistakably present.
What is one specific thing you are doing to stay focused on your word?
when life is hard
Life is hard right now.
I let out a “Heh” (with an eye-roll) as I write that, because “right now” has spanned the past two years. No, make that four years. But my immediate right now is still just… really hard.
It’s dark. Dry. Barren. Cold. Unrelenting.
I’ve endured more transition in these few years than I could ever imagine facing in a lifetime. An unfaithful spouse. A divorce (which still isn’t final). The forced-closing of the ministry I pioneered. The loss of my home. Moving back to America after 13 years in Africa.
And those are just the big things. Each one brings with it a myriad of “small” losses and griefs and heartaches. Even now, I feel a thousand aches from the thousand small things that happened this week alone.
I’ve been through the ringer.
The trouble is? There’s still no end in sight.
My days remain filled with the details of closing Thrive. Thirteen years, sixty staff members, thousands of supporters, and a ministry that spanned two continents doesn’t wrap up easily.
And as each loose end gets tied, I have yet another breakdown. I feel like I should be grateful for the bit of relief and closure that comes with each segment of finality, but instead… they just rip open the raw wound of my broken heart.
Again.
I have lost everything.
And in some moments I feel like “everything” includes my head. And my heart.
I’ve lost me.
And I’m not quite sure how to find me again. I’m not even sure I have enough fight left in me for the search.
So it was with agonizing tears that I committed to look this year. To look for hope. For light. For Him. For me.
To look for life.
It hurts just to open my eyes. The sting of grief and the brace for more disappointment makes me wince. But I told Him I’d look. Though it hurts. Though I may not like what I see. Though I may be scared… I will look.
And He assures me I will find.
I’d settle for feeling found.
