lessons (4 of 5)

It’s been a while… If you missed lessons one, two, and three, be sure to head back and read ‘em.

Develop your team. You won’t develop outwardly if you’re not developing inwardly.
We’ve made development a high priority; it’s one of our ministry’s core values. We constantly look for strategic opportunities to develop our staff and interns. For my own development, I read a lot—books and blogs of ministry leaders. I also listen to and/or watch teachings by leaders I learn a lot from, like Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, and Steven Furtick.

Let your team know they have freedom to fail. Make new mistakes rather than repeating old ones.
I am a perfectionist. And very detail-oriented. So this lesson is one I’m constantly needing to remind myself of: Mistakes are okay. I’m more intolerant of my own failures than those of others, yet I know I always need to better guard my response to others’ mess-ups. I’m learning the benefit of making new mistakes, because of all the lessons and opportunities they hold for me. As long as I’m learning from them, I need to be ok with my shortcomings.

Don’t hold things with a closed fist. We’re called to be stewards, not owners.
Niel and I are both strong givers, so this one is maybe easier for us than for many. At least 10% of all our general ministry income goes out to support other ministries and missionaries. And because of how far we’ve come, and all the “lack” we’ve endured over the years, we naturally take good care of what we have. At times it causes frustration in us when we see others on our team treating things with recklessness or disrespect. While we continually challenge them to be good stewards, we can’t expect them to remember what it was like when we didn’t have much.

lessons (3 of 5)

Do it afraid. Fear paralyzes, but courage shrugs its shoulders and takes a step anyway.

I’d say that most of the time, I don’t feel strong/brave/prepared/qualified enough to do what I’m doing. In Angie‘s comment, she asked how many times I’ve been tempted to give up. A lot!

Lack of finances, skills, time, and faith have all made me think, at one point or another, that I just can’t do this anymore. And then God, in His faithfulness, uses circumstances, people, His Word, or His peace to bring my heart back around again.

I wish my faith didn’t waiver as much as it did. I wish I could say I am a courageous leader who is always sure of her steps and confident in what she’s doing. I wish I was never tempted to give up. But if I’m honest, none of that is true.

And like a consumer I’ve been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my fifteen minutes of faith
Then I’d be secure

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

lessons (2 of 5)

Here are some more thoughts on lessons I’ve learned in the past ten years of ministry in Africa.

Do what only you can do. Spend your time and energy on that which makes you the strongest asset to your team.
Delegation has always been hard for me. I am a perfectionist, and very detail-oriented… so it’s hard for me to pass things off to others. For a long time, we didn’t have “others” to pass them off to, and I got very comfortable juggling so many things on my own. As our team grew, I learned (slowly) to equip my teammates to help carry the load.

I made a list of the things I want to spend my time doing, and the things that “only I can do” so that when we had the right people, I could start passing things off. Something “only I can do” is be the “face” of the ministry for our partners back in the States (with Niel, of course). Yes, I could have someone else write our newsletters or write email replies to our supporters. But I don’t want to. I want to continue having personal contact with the people who make our ministry possible. So I still personally reply to every email we get from our supporters (not always very speedily, although I sure try!). And while I now have some assistance in this area, I still write the final copy for our newsletters, printed letters, brochures, website, etc. It represents us, so I am heavily involved in what the ministry puts out in writing.

We still don’t have enough staff for me to only do what only I can do. But we’re definitely miles ahead of where we were even just 18 months ago. I probably spend about 40-50% of my time doing what I love and feel specifically called to do. The rest of my time is still spent in other areas. Right now, the 80/20 principle seems impossible, but it is something I am working toward: Spending 80% of my time doing what makes me the strongest asset to our team and ministry, and spending the remaining 20% on the have-to’s that I can’t avoid being involved in.

Give authority with responsibility. Trust your team; they have strengths in areas you don’t.
This is as hard for me as delegation is. I need to constantly remember that just because someone does something differently than I would, it doesn’t make it wrong. I have to work hard at times to keep my attitude in check when I know a “better way”. I need to get more big-picture oriented and get my brain out of the details sometimes. As long as the end result is right, the means of getting there shouldn’t matter.

When it’s painfully obvious that someone is better than me at something, it’s easier to trust them to do the job. It’s when I think I could do it better that I really need to work hard at fully letting go. Trust is something that is a challenge for me, both personally and with ministry responsibilities, but I’ve grown a lot in the area of trusting our team. We are blessed with some high-caliber staff members and interns who continue to blow me away with their giftedness. They’ve been a huge part of me learning to let go and trust others to get the job done.

lessons (1 of 5)

Here are more personal thoughts about some of the lessons I’ve learned in the past ten years.

Get clarity on your vision, and stick to it. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
When we first started out, we began by meeting the needs we saw around us. Of course there were many, and we quickly found ourselves doing a whole lot. Actually, what we were doing was very little in a whole lot of areas. While this was borne out of compassion, we realized that by spreading ourselves to thinly, we were being neither strategic nor effective. Andy Stanley‘s book, Visioneering, helped us clearly define exactly what God was calling us to do as a ministry. That meant stopping programs we were running because they were not in line with that vision. It was a difficult but rewarding time of refinement in our ministry. At times, it’s still not easy to say “no” to things that seem like they’d be great to be involved in. But knowing we are focusing our time, energy, and resources to accomplish what God’s called us to certainly makes it easier.

Everyone should know the vision. Momentum in ministry only occurs when everyone’s clear where you’re headed.
This is one we are still actively working on. We try to reinforce our vision and core values as often as we possibly can—as we lead staff meetings, as we talk strategy, as we bring correction. We share it with every team that comes through our ministry; we want them to see how their short-term trip ties in with the overarching vision to train Godly leaders. We also try to consistently convey the vision to our supporters and partners around the world. We’ve never wanted people to give to us because of an emotional pull; we want them to give because they know, believe in, and support the vision God’s given us for reaching Southern Africa.

The right people make all the difference. A strong team multiplies ministry effectiveness.
Like most of our lessons, we learned this one the hard way. On the mission field, and probably in any ministry, the needs are so great and there are never enough hands. That urgency and desperation led us to take on anybody and everybody who wanted to come and “do something” in Africa. We’ve gotten a lot more focused in our process of bringing on staff members; some people think we actually make it “too hard” for people to join our team. While our aim isn’t to make it difficult, we want the process to be slow and thorough enough so both sides know clearly that it’s truly a God-thing before someone makes a long-term move.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and input on all these.
And if any questions pop into your mind, feel free to ask…
Also—What lessons are you learning lately?

just to clarify

I recently blogged about some of the lessons I’ve learned in my first ten years of ministry. A friend asked me to share some of my personal history with those things, and I plan on writing a few posts in response to her comment.

But I need to start off by clarifying that when I say “lessons learned” I certainly don’t mean “lessons mastered”. Every single thing I listed is something I still struggle with in some way or another. I’m often hesitant to share things I’ve learned because although my sharing always comes from a place of journeying, not of arriving, somehow there is the implication in those words that I’ve figured it out. Hear me: I haven’t.

But the other side of that same coin is that I believe there is value in speaking from a point of brokenness. Being a missionary doesn’t make my life unrelatable to yours. I face similar struggles and challenges, and I write from that place, not from the awkward, lofty pedestal people often put missionaries on.

I recently spoke with someone about helping her deal with some issues in her life. I told her, “You need to know that I don’t have any training in counseling or any experience in dealing with things like this. But I’m willing to walk that road with you, to figure it out with God’s help as we go along.” Her response was wonderful. “I think that’s actually what I need. I don’t want someone just telling me how to fix my life; what I need is someone willing to walk alongside me in this. I think I will get more out of that kind of help than I would from some professional whom I write a check to at the end of our meeting.”

Her words seemed to sum up my thoughts on the perspective I have when I write. I’m next to you on the road, not miles ahead simply because I’m a missionary.

I’ve discovered that the expectations I often feel from others are ones that many place on anyone in ministry. Yes, we are to “practice what we preach”, “walk the talk”, and not tell others to do what we ourselves aren’t doing. But—and this is a big but—if we expect people to only share what they’ve mastered, there would be much silence in this world. We will never arrive. Never. Expecting that of anyone, especially those in ministry, only adds undue pressure and burden to their lives.

Remember the humanity of the missionaries, pastors, and leaders you know. Just like yours, our lives are filled with more grit than glory. And since I’m trying to develop more authenticity and transparency in my life, that means the more you get to know me, the more grit you’ll see. While that thought makes me cringe, deep down I know it’s a good thing.

second decade (3 of 3)

Even more lessons from my first 10 years of ministry that I’m taking with me into my second decade…

• Develop your team. Each person is responsible for their own personal growth and development, but it’s on your shoulders as a leader to provide as many opportunities for that as possible. Pour into your team through planned and unplanned development times. You won’t develop outwardly if you’re not developing inwardly.

• Let your team know they have freedom to fail. As leaders, we need to be quick to recognize how often we ourselves fail; that makes it easier to accept the failures of our team members. While giving people the freedom to make mistakes, let them know you expect them to learn from their failures. Coach them so that next time around, they don’t fail in the same way. Make new mistakes rather than repeating old ones.

• Don’t hold things with a closed fist. It’s all God’s anyway, and He can give it to whomever He wishes. Hold people, finances, possessions, and ideas with an open hand, ready to give when prompted. We’re called to be stewards, not owners.

• Maintain a teachable spirit. There are few things more distasteful in a leader than arrogance. Don’t think you know it all, because you don’t. Ask questions; listen intently; seek out opportunities to learn everyday. A humble leader is a learner.

• Burnout is real. Find ways to pull away from ministry work. Spend time with friends outside the ministry. Force yourself to unwind; take a physical, mental, and emotional break from your work. A burned-out leader no longer leads; she just maintains.

second decade (2 of 3)

Here are some more lessons from my first decade of ministry that will help me as I head into my second.

• Do what only you can do. There is so much work to be done, and in the early years you’re forced to be involved in all of it as you get things off the ground. As soon as possible, though, start delegating. Determine those things that only you can or should do, and focus more of your time on doing those things. Delegate anything that doesn’t fit into that. Spend your time and energy on that which makes you the strongest asset to your team.
  

• Give authority with responsibility. If you give someone a job, give them full authority to actually do it. Paint the picture of the end-result you’re looking for, but give them the freedom to determine how they get there. Micro-management inhibits impact. Trust your team; they have strengths in areas you don’t.
  

• Do it afraid. Don’t wait until you have all the answers or feel fully confident before you step out and do what God’s called you to do. Courageous leadership means making tough choices when you don’t feel brave at all. Fear paralyzes, but courage shrugs its shoulders and takes a step anyway.

second decade (1 of 3)

I’ve been in Africa for almost ten years—ten years that seem like a lifetime. I arrived as a clueless 19-year old, with nothing more than a heart for the people of Africa and a suitcase filled with things I deemed important. I’ve learned a lot on this journey and know I will only continue to learn more.

Here are some lessons from my first decade of ministry that I’m taking with me into my second.

• Get clarity on your vision, and stick to it. There will always be a ton of things you can do, but you need to focus on what you should do. Get clarity on the specifics God has called you to, and use that as the yardstick you measure every opportunity against. If you’re presented with something that’s a great idea, will impact a lot of people, and help meet a need, but doesn’t line up with the vision God’s given you, say no. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
  

• Everyone should know the vision. Your vision statement shouldn’t be restricted to a plaque on the wall or a page on your website. It should drip out of you every time you open your mouth. It should come up every time you address your team, explain a decision, or talk strategy. Your team should hear the vision so often that they can–and do–easily share it with others. That means it needs to be concise; if you can’t sum up your vision in one sentence, you need more clarity. Momentum in ministry only occurs when everyone’s clear where you’re headed.
  

• The right people make all the difference. Look for people who support the vision, are high in competence, are strong in character, and with whom you have chemistry. They need to be passionate about going in the same direction as you, otherwise they’ll bring division. Your work is too important not to have people who are skilled at what they do; don’t settle for those who are simply willing to serve. You also don’t want someone who is extremely gifted but lacking in character; integrity matters highly. And while it’s foolish to expect everyone to be best friends, it’s vital that a staff member clicks with their supervisor and direct coworkers; the emotional taxing that occurs otherwise just isn’t worth it. A strong team multiplies ministry effectiveness.

revolving door

The revolving door of ministry life has always been challenging for me. We constantly have people coming and going through our ministry. Missionary staff leave early sometimes; even if they stay full-term, it’s just that: a term. National staff quit, move on, move away. Each year we have interns, and each year we have to say goodbye to our interns.

I’m an introvert. And I take a long time to feel comfortable enough with someone to trust them with my heart. I also place high value on friendships and care deeply for people. The combination of all that makes the revolving door of my life that much harder.

I struggle to find the balance between guarding my heart and embracing the reality that we were hardwired for intimacy.

Yet 10 new interns just spun through that revolving door. And here I stand, needing to open my life, my heart, to them. (I sigh at that thought.) I look forward to knowing them all, and I long for the comfortability and familiarity I had with our previous group at the end of last year. It’s just the process of getting to that point that is overwhelming to me.

My heart grows weary of the constant hellos and goodbyes.

Though it may take a while, and though it may even hurt, my heart will once again open. Slowly at first, and then like a flower bursting out of a bud, suddenly I’ll find myself in a place I never thought I’d be.

so they say

Some great quotes on courage from Andy Stanley‘s Next Generation Leader.

• “A leader is someone who has the courage to say publicly what everybody else is whispering privately. It is not his insight that sets the leader apart from the crowd. It is his courage to act on what he sees, to speak up when everyone else is silent.”

• “Leaders instill courage in the hearts of those who follow.” (Or my take: Courageous leadership infuses courage in others.)

• “As leaders we are asking men and women not only to follow us to a place they have never been before; we are asking them to follow us to a place we have never been before either. That takes guts. That takes nerve. That takes courage.”

• “Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage assumes fear… Courage is the willingness to strap on your fear and move ahead.“

• “Failure looks and feels completely different in the rearview mirror than it does when it is staring at us through the windshield.”

• “Capital follows courage. The courage to dream always precedes the capital needed to finance the dream. Don’t be afraid to embrace a problem you cannot afford to solve.”

• “You can’t lead without taking risk.”

• “Wherever there is fear, there is opportunity. Wherever there is great fear, there is great opportunity.“

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