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	<title>Grit and Glory &#187; coffee talk</title>
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		<title>coffee talk: authenticity &amp; faith</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2010/02/04/coffee-talk-authenticity-faith/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2010/02/04/coffee-talk-authenticity-faith/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:01:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[authenticity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christianity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gritandglory.com/?p=6390</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As I wrestle with the risk of being more authentic, I&#8217;m struggling to find the line between authenticity and faith. I grew up in churches filled with happy, plastic Christians. They answer &#8220;How are you?&#8221; with &#8220;I&#8217;m blessed!&#8221; They don&#8217;t admit to being sick even when they are, saying instead that they are &#8220;healed in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://gritandglory.com/category/coffee-talk/" target="_blank"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-4898" title="coffee talk 3" src="http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/coffee-talk-3-300x163.jpg" alt="coffee talk 3" width="254" height="138" /></a><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>As I wrestle with the risk of <a href="http://www.gritandglory.com/2010/02/03/authenticity-isnt-found-in-the-rearview-mirror/" target="_blank">being more authentic</a>, I&#8217;m struggling to find the line between authenticity and faith.</strong></span></p>
<p>I grew up in churches filled with happy, plastic Christians.</p>
<p>They answer <em>&#8220;How are you?&#8221; </em>with<em> &#8220;I&#8217;m blessed!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>They don&#8217;t admit to being sick even when they are, saying instead that they are<em> &#8220;healed in Jesus&#8217; Name!&#8221;</em></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>And though I can&#8217;t judge their hearts, it always seems more <em>fake </em>than <em>faith</em>.</strong></span></p>
<p>It seems like denial.</p>
<p>And hypocrisy.</p>
<p>The implication is that if things aren&#8217;t going well with you, it&#8217;s because your faith just <a href="http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/03/04/time-to-talk-about-it/" target="_blank">isn&#8217;t strong enough</a>.</p>
<p><em>And that&#8217;s crap.</em></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>But things can get out of balance the other way as well.</strong></span></p>
<p>Under the banner of authenticity, a lot of people are just plain negative.</p>
<p>They complain. A lot.</p>
<p>They&#8217;re always responding to<em> &#8220;How are you?&#8221;</em> with far too much information. They let it all hang out, even at times when they &#8220;shouldn&#8217;t&#8221;.</p>
<p>And they just chalk it up to <em>being real</em>.<strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>So how do we balance faith and authenticity?</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>When is it time to be honest about where you&#8217;re at and when is it time to speak words of faith?</strong></span></p>
<p><strong><em>Talk amongst yourselves.</em></strong></p>
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		<slash:comments>72</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>coffee talk: wedding protocol</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/08/08/coffee-talk-wedding-protocol/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/08/08/coffee-talk-wedding-protocol/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:29:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gritandglory.com/?p=4967</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ll be in Sacramento next weekend for my friend&#8217;s wedding. (Holla if you&#8217;re in the neighborhood!) Here&#8217;s the thing: This will be the first American wedding I&#8217;ve ever attended. Crazy, right? Living an ocean away means I&#8217;ve missed every friend&#8217;s wedding for the past 11 years. (Occupational hazard of being a missionary, I guess.) So [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.gritandglory.com/category/coffee-talk" target="_blank"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-4897" style="margin: 5px;" title="coffee talk" src="http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/coffee-talk-300x261.jpg" alt="coffee talk" width="238" height="207" /></a>I&#8217;ll be in Sacramento next weekend for my friend&#8217;s wedding. <em>(Holla if you&#8217;re in the neighborhood!) </em></p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the thing: This will be the first American wedding I&#8217;ve ever attended. Crazy, right? Living <a href="http://www.gritandglory.com/africa-2/" target="_blank">an ocean away</a> means I&#8217;ve missed every friend&#8217;s wedding for the past 11 years. (Occupational hazard of being a missionary, I guess.)</p>
<p>So I&#8217;m very grateful I can be there for April&#8217;s special day. And it&#8217;s doubly-special because April was an intern with our ministry. That humbles me and makes me proud all at the same time. It also makes me feel old, but let&#8217;s not think about that.</p>
<p>Since I&#8217;ve never been to a wedding here before, I don&#8217;t know&#8212;well, <em>anything</em>. And I don&#8217;t think African wedding protocol applies!</p>
<p>So help a girl out. What do I need to know? Do? Get? Wear? Pass along anything you can think of.</p>
<p>Oh&#8212;and <em>talk amongst yourselves.</em></p>
<img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-4817" title="alecesig small PNG" src="http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/alecesig-small-PNG.png" alt="" width="65" height="40" /></a>
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		<slash:comments>29</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>coffee talk: safety</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/07/29/coffee-talk-safety/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/07/29/coffee-talk-safety/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:07:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gritandglory.com/?p=3079</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What makes you feel safe with someone?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><a href="http://gritandglory.com/category/coffee-talk/" target="_blank"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-4898" title="coffee talk 3" src="http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/coffee-talk-3.jpg" alt="coffee talk 3" width="393" height="215" /></a><br />
</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>What makes you feel safe with someone?</em></strong></p>
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		<slash:comments>37</slash:comments>
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		<title>coffee talk: betting the farm</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/05/22/coffee-talk-betting-the-farm/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/05/22/coffee-talk-betting-the-farm/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 04:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[featured posts]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gritandglory.com/?p=3762</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What&#8217;s a cause, an idea, an anything that you&#8217;d risk everything for? Talk amongst yourselves.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><a href="http://www.gritandglory.com/category/coffee-talk/" target="_blank"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-4406" title="coffee-talk" src="http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/coffee-talk-300x261.jpg" alt="coffee-talk" width="300" height="261" /></a></strong><strong></strong></p>
<p><strong>What&#8217;s a cause, an idea, an <em>anything </em>that you&#8217;d risk everything for?</strong></p>
<p><em>Talk amongst yourselves.</em></p>
<img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-4817" title="alecesig small PNG" src="http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/alecesig-small-PNG.png" alt="" width="65" height="40" /></a>
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		<slash:comments>95</slash:comments>
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		<title>coffee talk: exchanges</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/04/15/coffee-talk-exchanges/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/04/15/coffee-talk-exchanges/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:00:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[featured posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nuggets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christianity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gritandglory.com/?p=3864</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;They exchanged the truth of God for a lie&#8230;&#8221; And you know what? So have I. I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that I&#8217;m loved freely for the lie that I need to earn it. I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that He&#8217;ll provide for the lie that I need to take care of myself. I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&amp;chapter=1&amp;verse=25&amp;version=31&amp;context=verse" target="_blank">&#8220;They exchanged the truth of God for a lie&#8230;&#8221;</a> </strong></p>
<p>And you know what? So have I.</p>
<ul>
<li>I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that I&#8217;m loved freely for the lie that I need to earn it.</li>
<li>I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that He&#8217;ll provide for the lie that I need to take care of myself.</li>
<li>I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that I&#8217;m free for the lie that I&#8217;m still in chains.</li>
<li>I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that He uses broken vessels for the lie that He&#8217;ll only use me when I <em>dot-dot-dot.</em></li>
<li>I&#8217;ve exchanged His truth that I was made in His image for the lie that who I am just isn&#8217;t enough.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong><em>What would you add to the list? </em></strong></p>
<p><em><strong>And how do we exchange them back?</strong><br />
</em></p>
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		<slash:comments>22</slash:comments>
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		<title>coffee talk: blogging</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/03/18/coffee-talk-blogging/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/03/18/coffee-talk-blogging/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2009 11:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[passion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gritandglory.com/?p=3511</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[True or False? ht: copyblogger]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="size-full wp-image-3512 aligncenter" title="blog-authority" src="http://alece.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/blog-authority.jpg" alt="blog-authority" width="400" height="300" /><br />
<a><br />
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<strong></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>True or False?</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><em><img class="alignnone" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/263/F55A65CB8A711FD7C3E35D6B45CEEEA3.png" alt="" width="86" height="59" /></em></p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hat_tip" target="_blank">ht</a>: <a href="http://www.copyblogger.com/write-with-authority/" target="_blank">copyblogger</a></em></p>
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		<slash:comments>19</slash:comments>
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		<title>coffee talk: sock etiquette</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/02/27/coffee-talk-sock-etiquette/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/02/27/coffee-talk-sock-etiquette/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 12:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[amusements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fashion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gritandglory.com/?p=3073</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s the deal: I don&#8217;t know sock etiquette. So help a sister out: What socks do you wear when? Break it down nice and simple for me please.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here&#8217;s the deal: <strong>I don&#8217;t know sock etiquette.</strong></p>
<p>So help a sister out: <strong><em>What socks do you wear when?</em></strong></p>
<p>Break it down nice and simple for me please.</p>
<p><img class="alignnone" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/263/F55A65CB8A711FD7C3E35D6B45CEEEA3.png" alt="" width="86" height="59" /></p>
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		<slash:comments>80</slash:comments>
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		<title>coffee talk: jesus&#8217; family tree</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/02/25/coffee-talk-jesus-family-tree/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/02/25/coffee-talk-jesus-family-tree/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:00:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christianity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[community]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gritandglory.com/?p=3210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve got a theology question. Now don&#8217;t run away because you don&#8217;t feel qualified to talk theology. I&#8217;m not looking for expert advice. I&#8217;m looking for honest thoughts. And I know you have those to give me. So I hope you will. The New Testament starts out with the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>I&#8217;ve got a theology question.</strong></p>
<p>Now don&#8217;t run away because you don&#8217;t feel qualified to talk theology. I&#8217;m not looking for expert advice. <strong>I&#8217;m looking for honest thoughts. </strong>And I know you have those to give me. So I hope you will.</p>
<p>The New Testament starts out with the genealogy of Jesus in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%201&amp;version=31" target="_blank">Matthew 1</a>.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve heard that referred to countless times to show the legacy of those in Jesus&#8217; ancestry: <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%204:18-21&amp;version=31" target="_blank">Abraham&#8217;s great faith</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts%2013:22;&amp;version=31;" target="_blank">David&#8217;s man-after-God&#8217;s-own-heart-ness</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Kings%204:29;&amp;version=31;" target="_blank">Solomon&#8217;s wisdom</a>. I&#8217;ve also heard it used to show the unlikely characters that God used in Jesus&#8217; family tree, like <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=6&amp;chapter=2&amp;verse=1&amp;version=31&amp;context=verse" target="_blank">Rahab the prostitute</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Samuel%2011:1-4;&amp;version=31;" target="_blank">Bathsheba the adulterer</a>.</p>
<p>I love all that.</p>
<p><strong>But this is where I get hung up: </strong> The genealogy ends with <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%201:16;&amp;version=31;" target="_blank">&#8220;&#8230;Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.&#8221;</a></p>
<p>That&#8217;s <em>Joseph&#8217;s</em> family tree. And Joseph, while Jesus&#8217; earthly dad, wasn&#8217;t His biological father. Jesus comes from Mary&#8217;s bloodline, but not from Joseph&#8217;s. <em><strong></strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>So how can Joseph&#8217;s ancestors be listed as Jesus&#8217; family tree?</strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>Any thoughts?</strong></em></p>
<p><img class="alignnone" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/263/F55A65CB8A711FD7C3E35D6B45CEEEA3.png" alt="" width="86" height="59" /></p>
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		<title>coffee talk: more than we can handle?</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/02/04/more-than-we-can-handle/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/02/04/more-than-we-can-handle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2009 12:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nuggets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://alece.wordpress.com/?p=2020</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Did you know the Bible doesn&#8217;t tell us that God won&#8217;t give us more than we can handle? It&#8217;s not in there. I&#8217;ve looked. It does tell us that He won&#8217;t let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. There&#8217;s the promise that in every moment we feel inclined to sin, there is a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Did you know the Bible doesn&#8217;t tell us that God won&#8217;t give us more than we can handle?</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not in there. I&#8217;ve looked.</p>
<p>It <em>does </em>tell us that <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2010:13;&amp;version=31;" target="_blank">He won&#8217;t let us be <em>tempted </em>beyond what we can bear.</a> There&#8217;s the promise that in every moment we feel inclined to sin, there is a way out. We need to look for that door and walk through it.</p>
<p>But to me that&#8217;s a very different promise than the one most people walk around (mis-)quoting.</p>
<p><em><strong>What do you think? Do you think God won&#8217;t give us more than we can handle? </strong></em></p>
<p><img class="alignnone" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/263/F55A65CB8A711FD7C3E35D6B45CEEEA3.png" alt="" width="86" height="59" /></p>
<p><em>(<a href="http://gritandglory.com/category/coffee-talk/" target="_blank">You can catch up on old Coffee Talks here&#8230;</a>)</em></p>
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		<title>coffee talk: women in ministry</title>
		<link>http://www.gritandglory.com/2008/09/23/coffee-talk-women-in-ministry/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gritandglory.com/2008/09/23/coffee-talk-women-in-ministry/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>alece</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coffee talk]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[missionary musings]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://alece.wordpress.com/?p=1430</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember G-Daddy and the motorcycle? Yeah, me too. What I didn&#8217;t tell you back then was that shortly after I passed G-Daddy&#8217;s motorcycle test, I flunked an even bigger one. We got in a discussion about women in ministry, and I very quickly lost my standing in his good book. After hearing all about our [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://gritandglory.com/2008/06/18/flying-colors/" target="_blank">Remember G-Daddy and the motorcycle?</a> Yeah, me too. What I didn&#8217;t tell you back then was that shortly after I passed G-Daddy&#8217;s motorcycle test, I flunked an even bigger one. <strong>We got in a discussion about women in ministry, and I very quickly lost my standing in his <em>good book</em>. </strong></p>
<p>After hearing all about our <a href="http://www.thriveafrica.org" target="_blank">ministry</a>, G-Daddy was excited. He complimented me repeatedly on all that God had done through <a href="http://www.thriveafrica.org/about/staff/nielandalece/" target="_blank">Niel and I</a> in a reasonably <a href="http://www.thriveafrica.org/about/10-years/" target="_blank">short period of time</a>. Over and over again, he emphasized what a wonderful job we were doing; he even began talking about the possibility of coming to serve with us in a long-term capacity.</p>
<p><strong>Everything changed when he mentioned that he was ordained, and I replied that I was, too.</strong></p>
<p>I thought he was joking with his initial responses, and then I quickly realized he wasn&#8217;t. The conversation spiraled into him telling me that we aren&#8217;t running our ministry in a Biblical manner because I, as a woman, am in leadership.</p>
<p>I was hurt by his &#8220;attack&#8221;, not because this was the first time I&#8217;ve received criticism like this, but because I was staying in his home and had, just moments before, been someone he seemingly admired. I was also puzzled by his earlier praise: was he really just complimenting me for being a token wife, simply hanging on the arm of my minister husband who, of course, does everything? Hmph.</p>
<p>So&#8230; I ask you: <strong>What are your thoughts on women in ministry, particularly in leadership roles?</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignnone" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/263/F55A65CB8A711FD7C3E35D6B45CEEEA3.png" alt="" width="86" height="59" /></p>
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