Go. My mind is swirling with the ever-present barrage of decisions to be made, things to be done, and thoughts to be thunk. The music playing in the background adds yet another layer to the cacophony, and I feel compelled to check my phone every time it dings. And it dings often.
It's all right there -- constantly flowing at / to / in me. I get overwhelmed by the enormity of everything. Not knowing where to start causes me to not start at all.
I haven't journaled out the things I've wanted to. I haven't written the heart-wrestling blog posts that are currently sitting in my drafts folder as only a sentence or two. I haven't finished the book I began reading four months ago. I haven't given myself time, space, and emotional reserve to process the weighty things in my heart. I haven't replied to all my emails, cleared my Google Reader, or gotten in touch with all the friends I'd love to connect with.
And all those haven'ts weigh on me as need to's any time I get a spare minute to myself.
But in that rare moment, all I want to do is drown that list out of my mind.
And just breathe.
Maybe, just maybe, that isn't bad. Maybe that isn't avoidance or procrastination.
Maybe it's my heart's way of reminding me that life is more about being than it is about doing.