epically epoch
Nothing sounds more contradictory than a black-tie missions gala.
But Epoch 2011 pulled it off masterfully.
I was honored to attend their inaugural event in Atlanta, and while I don’t know what I was picturing, what they delivered far blew away any expectations I may have had.
The night was spectacular in every way. I’m not just talking about the historic Fox Theater, the classy meal, the engaging presenters, or the elegance of the entire evening. Although every element from start to finish was artful and captivating.
The most amazing part for me was the undercurrent of genuine humility.
I don’t say something like that lightly. So hear me out.
The event was hosted by Adventures in Missions, an incredible organization that itself lives on financial support. And yet they made the evening about everyone but themselves.
They found sponsors, invited donors, and distributed grants to support-based organizations, even when they very much need (and would make good use of) those same resources. Seth Barnes, the founder and director of Adventures, said grace before the meal, but other than that, he chose to not be front and center. At all.
This wasn’t about him. This wasn’t about Adventures.
This was about serving and honoring their co-laborers around the world.
The ballroom was filled with over 400 people on all sides of missions work: from those who live full-time on the field to Kingdom-minded individuals who make a significant impact through their financial support.
The majority of us felt very out of place in our evening gowns and tuxedos, and yet… felt oddly at home with each other. Because underneath the heels and bowties, our hearts beat the same.
I spent an evening surrounded by those who have given of themselves more than anyone could possibly fathom. And yet it wasn’t flaunted. The Gala wasn’t showy or ostentatious. It was beautiful, yes. Classy, absolutely. But genuine, because of the genuine hearts present.
That “great cloud of witnesses” the author of Hebrews talked about? I was surrounded by the pre-Heaven version.
The faith, sacrifice, perseverance, and blood-sweat-and-tears labor that filled that room was nothing short of astounding. Nations have been changed — and will continue to be changed — by that roomful of humble misfits in evening attire.
It was a night like none other.
And I already can’t wait for next year.
That is… if I get invited back after my shenanigans in the photo booth. My true self came out in typical fashion, despite my red dress and uncomfortably high heels. My friend Tracee and I are still laughing at these ridiculous pictures!
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Where have you seen genuine humility recently?
God is good… a deeper story
I was raised to believe that blessings and healing and victory belong to those who believe. Which is a wonderful thought. But the flipside of that belief is that failure, sickness, and lack are signs of not believing enough.
So while I was taught to instinctively respond to “God is good” with “All the time”, it was understood that God’s goodness is only reflected in the goodness of our own lives.
It’s not in the pain or the difficulty or the challenges. For those, clearly, are signs of a wayward heart… a faltering faith… an unexposed sin.
{… Continued on the Deeper Story blog…
Link over to read the rest…}
believe
Someone believed in me.
And it gave me the courage to believe in myself. To put myself out there. To try something. To risk.
And that? That is a priceless gift.
Believe big in someone.
And make sure they know it. Down deep.
Help them see what you see in them, because they most likely can’t see it themselves.
You never know what a difference it will make.
He reaps where He didn’t sow
As I live in the tension of the shrug, one of the things I’ve wrestled with in the past few years is the promises of protection and provision in the Bible.
Because God-fearing Christians are still sick and injured and quite often left-without. So I just don’t get it…
I mean… Why do we pray for the angels to have charge over us, when accidents still happen to angel-surrounded Believers all the time? I don’t know. And I’m not trying to start a theological debate here… just voicing my questions. Or rather my lack of answers.
I’ve wondered about the whole “no weapon formed against you shall prosper” thing. Because I’ve had a lot of weapons formed against me. And a lot of weapons have succeeded.
I’ve endured literal fires, floods, droughts, breakdowns, tornadoes, infidelity, divorce, and the closure of our ministry… So I’ve wrestled with what it means that these weapons formed against me won’t prosper, because they sure have seemed to…
The past few days as I’ve been pondering all this again, I had this thought:
Maybe it’s not that the weapons formed against me won’t succeed in hindering or destroying me… but that even if they do, they still won’t bear fruit.
The weapons may stop me or thwart what I’m doing or even slay me, but that doesn’t mean they will bear fruit in my life. Because God — as only He can do — reaches in and creates beauty from ashes, new life from death, joy from mourning.
God reaps even what He doesn’t plant. No matter what, He ultimately reaps a harvest for my good and His glory even from the weapons formed against me.
Remember the parable of the talents? Towards the end of that jam-packed short story, the servant who had been given one talent — and did nothing with it — got angry at the Master, accusing him of “harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.” And the Master agreed.
Because that’s exactly what He does.
God reaps where He didn’t sow, and He gathers where He didn’t scatter seed.
He can take a crop of thorns, and harvest a crop of wheat.
He can take all of our pain, and still harvest abundant joy out of it.
He reaps everything good from a planting of everything bad.
“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.”
Psalm 126:5-6
God never wastes a thing.
Not even the weapons that succeed against us.
the tension of the shrug
I’ve gotta be honest: I’ve got more questions than answers.
I grew up in a Christianity that didn’t allow me to admit that. So for years I “had” all kinds of answers. But underneath them all was a shaky voice and a doubting heart and a lot of unverbalized questions…
And now?
Now I’m just allowing myself to embrace my questions more than I used to.
It’s frustrating — and maddening even, at times — because I wish I had answers. I crave sureties.
But building a faith on pretend answers is no better than acknowledging I have none at all.
It’s like trusting in sandcastles that disappear in the surf…
My only surety — my only certainty — is Christ.
And for everything else in between, it’s okay if I have to shrug and say “I don’t know.”
It’s hard to live in the tension of that shrug, but that’s where I find myself. And though it seems to go against everything within me, I know that just has to be okay.
I’m thankful for a God who meets me in the question marks.
For He alone is the only true and definitive answer.
Period.
How hard is it for you to not have all the answers?
be present
I’m an extroverted introvert.
But I’m still an introvert.
And this introvert? Is tired.
I just spent a couple days with 13,000 leaders at Catalyst in Atlanta. That’s a whole lotta people time for someone like me.
But this was my 5th Catalyst experience. I love every minute of them. And this one was no exception.
Even though it leaves this introvert completely exhausted.
In fact, I took naps this time. Yes, I am that old. Or that… something. But both days at Catalyst, I found a way to slip away and take a nap.
On Friday, my friend Tracee and I cut out of a freezing cold session to warm up in the sun. In a hammock. And we fell asleep.
We found out later from a friend that eventually the session let out and thousands of people milled around us. And we didn’t wake up… Even worse, hundreds of people lined up for a book signing right near our hammock. Literally, people lined both sides of us, waiting to get their books signed. And we slept through the entire thing.
We were cashed out!
So, um, if you were there… and took a picture of the crazy-hammock-sleeping girls… please let me know. And send me whatever awful pictures you took!
But seriously… naps and all, Catalyst was great.
As always, the hallway conversations were one of my favorite parts. I love the opportunities to connect with so many amazing people. The one-on-one and small group intteractions that just kind of erupt in hallways, on the lawn, over late-night drinks, at the Bloggers Meetup…. yeah… I love that.
The theme this year was Be Present. Such a good reminder for me in so many ways.
Remember my One Word?
Look?
Well, I haven’t been looking as much as I should be…
All the challenges to be fully present were basically challenges to look.
To look around — at what He’s doing all around me all the time. To look up — pressing in to Him as my only source of strength. To look in — and not miss what He wants to do in me right this very moment. To look at those He’s placed beside me — to not miss the aspects of His heart that He shows me through His people.
Be present.
Look.
And… as needed…
Nap.
What does it mean to you to “be present”?
always and always, fritz
My friend Sara was affectionately known as Gitzen Girl — a nickname coined by her dad (who I am so thankful to have spent some time with before he passed last year).
Everyone knew her as Gitz.
But to me, she was Fritz.
She was Fritz. And I was Frass. (Short for Sassafrass, of course…)
And this Frass? Misses her Fritz like crazy…
Ohmyheart…
When I was asked to speak at Sara’s memorial service, it felt like an incredible gift had been placed in my hands. One I held gently and tenderly. An honor I didn’t take lightly.
I didn’t want to speak about our history or friendship, although I could’ve talked for hours on that alone. I wanted to somehow try to capture and express Sara’s amazing heart and the incredible way she lived her life. I wanted to explain what Choose Joy meant to her, as so many have picked it up as their own life mantra. I wanted to paint a picture of who Sara really is…
I hope my feeble attempt to find adequate words achieved that even in the slightest possible way…
Here are the words I shared at her service…
: : :
There are so many things I could say about my sweet Sara. So many that I don’t even know where to start. Or harder still, I wouldn’t even know where to stop. She has been one of the greatest gifts in my life, and her friendship has truly changed me. Forever.
And I know many—literally around the world—can say the exact same thing about her.
It is absolutely mind-blowing to think of how far-reaching Sara’s impact has been. From the tiny confines of her condo in Iowa, her life and love wrapped around the globe.
Because of her illnesses, her way of life had to change. But her way of living didn’t.
Sara continued to live well. To love deeply. To trust God unswervingly. She continued to choose joy. To love Jesus passionately. And to run her race well… All the way to the end.
Through her words, Sara shared her faith and her heart so genuinely and authentically. Sara was real. Velveteen Rabbit kind of real. And in her realness, she made it easy for us to be real in return. Real with ourselves… With others… With God.
And in that place of threadbare honesty, she challenged us to choose joy.
Choose joy.
Those two words ran deep for Sara. They weren’t just a pick-me-up statement… Those words truly shaped her life.
Sara taught me that choosing joy doesn’t mean living in denial of reality. It doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay when it’s not. It doesn’t mean not allowing ourselves to grieve or acknowledge our own heartaches in life.
It means being honest and authentic with where we are… And from that place, still lifting our eyes Homeward.
Choosing joy is acknowledging that while I don’t understand what’s going on, God does. Choosing joy is remembering that while life seems to be spiraling out of control, it is never out of God’s control. Choosing joy is remaining mindful that while my circumstances may feel anything but ideal, God still has my good and His glory in mind.
Because like Sara said, “It’s not about me. It’s about what He can do with my life.” That statement holds the very essence of her lifestyle of choosing joy…
Sara lived her life by six simple goals she set for herself. She had these scribbled on her wall in that amazingly beautiful handwriting of hers. But more importantly, she had them scribbled deeply on her heart. She set out to do six things with her life:
- To not be ashamed to stand before God.
- To fulfill God’s plan by living the best life I can with what I am given.
- To be aware and present in every moment.
- To love what I have and not yearn for what I lack.
- To spread the joy, not the fear.
- To be intentional in all things.
I read that list, and I can’t help but smile. Even through the tears. Sara so faithfully lived out each one of those things. And we would do well to make these goals our own.
Sara lived well.
She loved well.
She finished well.
And she taught us to do the same.
I love you always and always, Fritz…
