thoughts from my dusty prayer closet
Praying has never been easy for me.
Not something you’d ever expect to hear from a missionary, I know. But it’s the truth. Praying is sometimes usually really hard.
So I don’t pray nearly as much as I “should”. Not as much as I want to, even. Or maybe not as much as I want to want to would be more accurate.
I get distracted really easily.
Midway through mentally writing my Target list, I’ll remember that I’d actually been praying.
Oh. Yeah.
So I shift back to prayer and, sure enough, my mind begins wandering again. Even if it starts with thoughts of the person or situation I’m praying for, my brain very quickly spiderwebs into countless random things. Until I remember—again!—that I was in the middle of praying.
Oh. Yeah.
Take 29.
I also can’t spend hours in prayer. I just can’t.
Many people can. And do. And actually love it. But not me. I’m simply not wired that way.
I’m more inclined to talk to God in bite-size conversations throughout the day than in one long official “prayer time”. Maybe it’s because I’m more do-er than be-er, more Martha than Mary. Maybe it’s because I can’t sit in one place very long. Or because I don’t feel like I have that much to say. Or because I struggle with structure. Or because of that whole “easily distracted” thing.
Maybe it’s a combination of all the above. And then some.
Whatever the reason(s), I don’t often pray for any great length of time.
But none of these “challenges” give me license not to pray.
They don’t let me off the hook from growing in this area.
I still need to spend more time praying than I currently do. I need to be intentional to stay focused in prayer. I need to ask, seek, and knock. I need to give thanks and make my requests known.
I still need to pour my heart out like water before the Lord. I just no longer need that to look like some Wonderbread version of a quality prayer life.
I simply need it to look like me connecting with Him.
I’m gonna unpack more thoughts on prayer
tomorrow. In the meantime, I’d love to hear
what prayer (honestly) looks like for you.
My prayers look A LOT like yours. And then I feel like a failure when I hear about how everyone else succeeds at prayer and so I give up. Because obviously God can’t be happy with how I do it.
But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t talk to Him, because, I mean, obvs.
But it’s still hard, still a struggle, still a situation where I find myself running an errand before realizing it came up while I was praying and thats where I am still supposed to be. Sigh.
When you find the answer and/or cure will you let me know? Please?
i haven’t found a cure, but am learning not to feel guilty or condemned when i do things like this. and i’ve learned to do some things that help keep my mind and heart on track when praying… i’m writing a blog post about that now to go up in a few hours…
My old pastor always said that when we find prayer difficult then there’s sin in our life.
I wanted to tell him that he was full of… I mean… um… I disagree.
Not that I’m perfect. I sin everyday (ouch!). But, much like you… sitting still or having something to say is very difficult for me. He knows everything anyway right?
I admit that I can’t “set aside” a scheduled time every day for it. ‘Cause generally what happens is I end up missing it – feel guilty – then don’t pray at all.
So, I pray throughout the day. And enjoy working the midnight shifts cause it’s quiet, not too busy, and I can focus (usually).
And then when I tell someone that I’m going to pray for them… I have to pray for them “right then”. If I don’t, I know it’ll slip my mind, or I’ll get busy, and go on.
It’s an age-old problem. Even the disicples struggled with keeping their minds focused on prayer, and finding something to say. (Mark 14).
Don’t feel guilty about it girl. You said it best… “not as much as I want to want to”. He knows your heart, right? Keep striving for a better prayer-life… maybe one day we’ll get to the point where we talk with Him as much as we, and He, wants us to.
Praying for you friend.
Randi, I agree with you…and don’t agree with your old pastor. I had some of that religious junk spoken to me through the years. I think God shudders when He hears that kinda guilt ridden stuff. I know now… that when I was covered in sin, Christ came… He still comes.
For He’s not focused on my sin. He’s focused on me.
“I know now… that when I was covered in sin, Christ came… He still comes.
For He’s not focused on my sin. He’s focused on me.”
THAT I love girl!
i’ve heard similar things (like what your old pastor said…), and it’s taken a long time to crawl out from underneath all that condemnation. but feeling guilty over not praying has only ever caused me to pray even less… so clearly that’s not helping!
Isn’t it fascinating how we oftentimes believe the lies that condemn us more than the truth that sets us free?!
Will have to begin to pray for that freedom.
WOW. So true. Especially “Or maybe not as much as I want to want to would be more accurate.”
I wrote something about that once, called Wild at Mind where I shared what a failure it made me not to be able to concentrate while praying. (I also shared a recipe for sugar-free cake and the cubic root of 1331, but that’s not the point.)
Gosh, I feel like I read my own life when I read this post today! And honestly, it feels good to read that I am not the only one out there especially since I am a missionary too. I mean, don’t we all spend hours on end praying? :) And another shocker…..I hate big prayer meetings or even worse, all night prayer meetings. Totally uncomfortable moments for this girl. :)
I tend to pray the most when my head is hitting the pillow and then I wake up and realize that I feel asleep! :) I used to feel guilty about this but then I had a tremendous peace that the Father probably likes that I fall asleep in His presence…..He’s the last thought on my mind. At least that’s why I like to tell myself so maybe I won’t feel so guilty anymore. :)
All that “confession” to say, I get this and I also get that we never stop trying and growing……and it’s nice to know that I am not the only one going down that road.
i do the same thing — pray when i get into bed and then wake up realizing i fell asleep while praying. i feels…good. (but i used to feel badly about it too!)
long sessions of prayer have always been a struggle for me.
i love bite-size conversations – snippets of time – phrases versus dissertations.
but something i’m learning – and need to do more often – is just how to be still before Him.
sometimes, I just put on music – soft worship music – and i lay there. and i ask Holy Spirit to come and just do whatever He wants in me. Most times I go to sleep. lol
But God can work on me when I sleep right? lol
because i’m a martha as well, i’m trying to learn to be and not do so much. ya know?
i’m probably talking in circles, but i’m digging ‘resting in Him’ right now. i need that time to recharge.
and girl, my mind wanders all the time. i just reign it back in and say, “ok. where was I?”
i think with practice (yes, I said practice) i could train my mind to stay more focused.
i just haven’t done that yet. hahahaha
;)
music is definitely prayer for me. even when i’m just listening…
my prayers are throughout the day and shorter. they sometimes feel like rapid fire “i pray for X,Y,Z and thank you for XYZ and please guide me in the following areas: XYZ” and sometimes they start to feel like canned prayers, which I dislike. At one point I stopped praying bc I felt they were all canned, but that felt worse than praying canned prayers.
when i was unemployed and had more time to take walks, etc.. my prayers were better. I would take time to think about what i was truly grateful for and what my struggles were. my life has resumed its busy-nature, and my prayer ife, in turn, has started to feel canned again.
oooh. your description is perfect. i often feel like i’m only praying canned prayers. sigh…
I am not one that prays out loud.
I don’t pray for every one I know, weird I know, but I believe God calls me to pray for certain individuals ay certain seasons of my life. I tend to become a warrior for that person.
I love to pray when I am outside. I’m very distracted inside church or in my home.
I love to pray in the Spirit in the wee morning hours and no one is listening.
my times of prayer are very sacred. I never share this time.
I usually have focal points ie: oceans
Alot of my requests you’ll find on 3 X 5 cards.
I DON’T ask for prayer very often at all. AND I only ask about 1-5 people at all in my life.
I don’t like any formal stuff, to me it’s chit chat, alot of tears, and ALOT ALOT ALOT of silence.
If someone ask me to pray for them it’s a honor and I do it right then.
“”I don’t like any formal stuff, to me it’s chit chat, alot of tears, and ALOT ALOT ALOT of silence.
If someone ask me to pray for them it’s a honor and I do it right then.”
I agree. Steven Curtis Chapman had a song out several years ago, “Let Us Pray” — that describes my approach. It’s not just this time or that, it’s all day, every day.
“Oh. Look, there’s Betty Sue! They just found out her husband is being laid off. Do you already have another job for him? Will You show Yourself to them in such a way that they know it’s You and that You’re still there for them? Thanks”
“Oh! Wow, God! You KNEW I didn’t have much money for the groceries and LOOK at how everything on my list is on sale! You are awesome! Thank you!”
….and on and on. Like breathing out and breathing in.
yeah, i struggle with the same sort of things.
distraction.
wandering thoughts.
impatience.
sometimes what helps me is when i write it down, in a journal sort of way.
and, i’m more of a steady conversation over the course of the day kind of girl.
does that count?
That is me to!
Writing it out helps me alot.
And conversation throughout the day with God…I think it counts!
Prone to wander / Lord, I feel it…
I’m reading A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller, and working through this too. Thanks for talking about it!
those few lines from that hymn? perfect….
It varies. Except that the only way I can do ‘longer prayers’ is to write them out, like in a journal. And put Bible verses along with them (which gets me into the Word). Other than that, I can maybe do 10 minutes — tops. ;-)
And yet, I feel like my prayer life is pretty rich. Because I ‘connect’ all through-out the day. It’s like, you know, ‘praying without ceasing’. ;-)
But even with that, sometimes I get busy and don’t do as much of it as I like.
I can say this though:
I can tell a total difference in me when I am praying ‘more’ and when I’m not. It’s like night and day.
Look forward to more from you on this topic!
Love,
deb
I’m with you. Terrible at this. Terrible. At. This. Also, not so great at reading my Bible but I’ll save that confession for another day ;)
I am reading John Ortberg’s The Me I Want to Be and he talks about prayer in a very refreshing way. He says something to the effect that prayer looks differently from one person to the next. Some find closeness in a dark room alone, some in a busy coffeeshop, some while singing, some while writing, some while reading, some while talking. I don’t have to lay in bed at night and feel guilty about a wandering mind and heavy eyelids. I can pray how it feels right for me.
(Love that book. ;-) )
i’m so not good at reading my bible either.
i love that little nugget from ortberg’s book. so good. and freeing.
i’m on the opposite side of the spectrum. i pray really really hard for something or someone. many many times. however, this doesn’t give me a lot of room to trust God that he will do something about what i’m praying about. by praying that much about something I almost feel like I have more control over it. which makes it hard[er] to trust him. dang it.
but there are also parts of my prayer life that i just flat out neglect. like thanking him. so terrible at that. and so hard for me. grr.
i’m pretty sure there’s a verse in my bible that says the Spirit intercedes in your spiderwebs. you should check it out :) but really, he understands your wandering better than you do… in a good way.
i keep writing “wondering” when i’m trying to say “wandering.” hmmmmmmmmm.
but i do wish all my comments could be in ghetto-speak. :)
i think you would really enjoy pete wilson’s book “plan b”, coop. can i send you a copy?
THANKS for being honest about this!!
I am totally the same way! i think I started thinking about my grocery list yesterday…and then when I got myself back on track and started praying for a friend, I started analyzing her relationship wtih this guy and how I felt about it….and then I was so frustrated that I got off track again!
I LOVE praying out loud WITH at least one other person…it helps me keep so much more focused on how I am talking with the Lord. But I can’t always do this….usually only once a week – sometimes less.
I try to pray out loud in my car…that helps keep me focused. Or write prayers in my journal.
But I also just love to be still before him for my small amount of time in the mornings and I always feel so refreshed when my mind stays with my prayer :-)
When it comes to prayer I am not so hot. I am really trying hard to focus on what I am talking about with God, but at the same time, I find myself repeating the same things to him over and over as I think about something else. Lately, I have been trying to pray for an hour a day. I hate this because even though I divided it up into thirty minute intervals I still find myself finding ways to look at the clock to see if I am done. I usually do most of my talking to God throughout the day in short 2 minutes conversations. It is crazy. I wish that I could really dialogue with God for hours but it is so hard for me to do. It is like I need him right infront of me to be able to talk to him or I am all over the place!
do you know what has always annoyed me? when other christians look down on me and others, for not spending x-amount of hours a day praying.
i love God with all my heart and there are times i need to spend more time in His presense and talking with Him.
the old saying rings true, “quality not quantity”.
i’m right there with you, jess.
how much time should we spend in prayer a day do you think?
i have always wondered what the rules are :)
Jenny, When I read your words I am reminded of my own questions and wonders in my years walking with God… He’s been recently rocking my world with revelations of what His heart is really like. I love the realization that Jesus lives in me and is always interceding. I love that He invites me to pray sometimes with words, sometimes with groans and even tears.
I love that He has no requirements on me. He reads my heart and knows….
I often think of how I would be with my own children and it allows me to get a glimpse of His heart with me. I’ve written one such picture on my blog if you would like to read it. It is found here: http://jewelsightings.blogspot.com/2010/06/loving-impromptu.html
Great question, that I think many wonder about.
the religiousness i was raised in had a moving bar, i think. any amount was never quite enough.
So the short prayers through out the day are my lifeline alot of the time. Its by these that I pray without ceasing. Its like my conversation with God doesn’t end, it just pauses and I pick it up later. Allowing myself to pray this way also means that I pray immediately for requests that people give rather than saying “I’ll pray for you.” and then forget two minutes later.
I journal alot of my prayers. It helps keeps me focused and when I get an impression of a response from God, I write that in cursive.
I have a prayer wall with names of people, places and things I pray for, with specific scripture promises I am claiming for those things. My concentrated times of prayer are usually in the morning as I eat breakfast and spend time in the Word before work, at lunch, and in the evenings just before bed.
I’m not a perfect pray-er. God has given me alot of grace as an intercessor to pray, cause I know it takes His grace poured out to overcome my flesh and renew my mind so that I do pray.
I’ve never been one to sit still easily. I also get easily distracted when trying to sit still and pray. I used to think I was a horrible “pray-er”…. Funny thing is, people think I am an intercessor or a prayer warrior. Everytime I get an email or phone call saying, “I know you are a great prayer warrior”…. I want to laugh out loud. Maybe my definition of what it looks like to be a great pray-er is skewed.
After all Jesus, the one who is always interceding on my behalf, lives inside me. Jesus, who lives in me, is always praying for me. That’s amazing. Sometimes He invites me to join him with words. Sometimes it’s through my tears. Other times it’s my aches and my groans.
I will never forget the time I was so overwhelmed with life around me that I had no words to say. All I could do was sit in the bathtub and cry. I didn’t utter a word. I could not even cry out “help me”… I could only cry. Yet He came. I was so stunned that He came. I kept saying, “I can’t believe you came when I didn’t utter a word.” I had been conditioned to think that God came when I did something to get Him to come. Yet He came without me doing a thing. He came because He saw my tears and He read my heart. It changed me forever.
i have experienced the same… there are so many countless times when i can’t even get out the word “help”. all i have is tears. and yet, God answers even those unspoken prayers.
I’m SO glad I’m not the only one who accidentally winds up mentally jotting down my shopping list while I pray! It seems to me that in cases like this, perhaps the beginning of your/our prayers should begin with “Lord, please help me keep my focus on You–in my prayers and in my life.” Give it to God and let him help you with your distractions. I’m the same way Alece. Once more you’ve provided something for me to think about and work on. Thank you friend! :)
you’re so right. i need to get better at simply asking for help to stay focused!
I was thinking about this very same thing today, in my life. I admire those who are deemed “prayer warriors” but have never been one myself. It’s a trait I wish I had, but I just don’t. I know it’s not a good excuse, but I’m just not “good” at it. So easily distracted by wandering thoughts. I have found recently that the best prayer times I’ve had lately are on my elliptical machine, alone in my house, if I can resist not turning on the TV. For some reason it seems to help me if my body is distracted doing one thing, somehow my mind seems to be able to better concentrate without wandering off. So lately my good prayer times and my exercise times have been intertwined. It’s interesting…
i totally hear you about praying while your “body is distracted”. that seems to help me as well. now, if only i would exercise more…
Haha! Yeah, that’s one of the problems! :)
It appears so many of us simply aren’t GOOD at praying. Don’t get me wrong – I know that prayer is important. I mean, how can you have a relationship with someone if you never talk to Him? But my prayers are more like yours – little bits of conversation throughout the day with an ever-present God. I don’t think this is necessarily bad, but where I believe it might fall short of really being what He wants from us is that there’s not a lot of worshipping of Him in those little snippets of prayer. I’m quick to thank Him for a blessing or for saving me from getting stopped by the motorcycle cop hiding in the trees, but I rarely stop and say how awesome He is. That’s the element I think we snippet-prayers are missing.
Like you, I am easily distracted. I have a hard time concentrating on most things, and prayer just falls right into that bucket. Honestly, I don’t know how to fix it, but it’s something I think about all the time.
You could have written that about my prayer life, except for one difference.. it looks as though you still have a prayer life. Mine is mostly non-existent because I get so frustrated that it doesn’t look like it should look like — or what I think it should look like. I feel like I’ve given up because I’m just that awkward little girl who fumbles over every word. I can’t even put my thoughts into words anymore.
and by thoughts, I don’t mean actual things that I’m thinking, (only sometimes do they make it that far). I mean those thoughts in my heart that I know are there but I can’t quite seem so make out… they just hover in my heart for a long time and I never know what to do with them.
i’ve gone through seasons like that, hannah. where i can’t even pray at all. literally no words. for weeks. months.
i hope your heart has felt a bit of freedom through these posts and the wonderful discussions going on in the comments. God isn’t waiting for you to “pray well”… He just wants your heart…
In actuality, my prayer life strongly resembles yours. My husband has the gift of prayer, but I don’t seem to.
However, I often tell people that I pray without ceasing—-as in, constantly saying, “Lord, help!” :)
I am the same friend… Whenever I sit down to focused prayer, something inevitably interrupts my time. That and there always seems soo much to think about. I used to make a list of all the people and things to pray about and it would be PAGES long!!! I think that I’ve resigned myself to knowing God wants to be my friend, and by being a friend, I know that I love to hear from my friends whenever they get a moment to talk. I’m grateful that God knows my heart, knows all the secret things I want to tell Him, and hopefully understands…..
i love talking to Him through out the day. =] that’s my form of prayer.
but i DO love prophetic intercession and intense prayer…but it’s hard to get focused and in the zone =] once you get into the zone though, the feeling is unlike anything else coz you feel God’s heart for people/situations and God uses you to speak His Kingdom come and His will be done in earth as it is in heaven. it’s so powerful.
worship is a huge part of those times for me… it gets my heart/mind into the “zone” (like you said) and helps keep me there…
Hey. Did you get my tweet? Just wanted you to know it’s up.
http://thenoreaster.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/storm-stories-volume-2/
Let me know what you think.
God willing, this will actually work.
this is great, nor. thank you! i’ll help spread the word.
if i’m honest i have to admit that i am in a weird place with prayer right now. sometimes my prayers seem….futile…pointless.
I know that this is a lie…but still…
i believe in the power of prayer…just not so sure about the power of mine at times.
i totally get that. and often feel the same way. i’m learning to keep praying, even if it’s just to tell God that i feel like my prayers are futile…
i pray similar to you. it was delightful many mornings earlier this year when I would walk between my schools and just have brief prayer times. I cannot not pray long. Too much going on in my head. I have stuff to do. No conclusion here just a “ya, we sound similiar”
Boy, do I know what you mean about a “prayer life.” I’m pretty much like you in that I pray in bits and pieces. Now, being honest, it’s because I feel like He’s not really listening to me. It’s hard to be excited and want to pray when it feels like my heart’s cry is only heard by the drywall.
Thank you for your honesty! For so long I struggled with these same things- am I praying enough? What are the rules on length of prayers? Why can’t I pray with the conviction of the saints and those much-better-at-christianity-folks who seem to grace my blog reader. Then I gave up. Gave up!
It’s not a formula. It doesn’t look like something in particular. Christ gave us a guide in talking to our Dad and I pray that. Except when I don’t. Thanks to my faith (I’m Catholic), I have a whole litany of prayers from which to choose to begin my time at Christ’s feet. But mostly, mostly I just like to talk to Him. Or cry. Or yell. And it doesn’t always start and end with “Dear God” “love Ashley Elizabeth.”
this was beautiful, ashley. beautiful.
In a season where I should pray, should seek more of God, but I don’t. :(
Feel discarded a lot of the time.
Not sure what I should do.
Time ripe for praying….. but I don’t.
Everyone who is barking at me telling me I should be doing this or shouldn’t be doing that is just driving me away and I don’t want to interact with anyone …..
Ok… not feeling chipper, so I’ll stop before my mood transfers on others. All I can say is, for those who might wanna pray for me (bite sized or otherwise) please do…..
Father, Bajanpoet is feeling horrible. I don’t know the heart or mind, but You do. This sounds somewhat like Paul who struggled with knowing the right thing and doing the wrong. It may also be because of doing the right things and hearing lies from people and the enemy.
My request for Bajanpoet, Lord of Heaven and Earth, is that You will cause no other voices to be heard in that heart or mind but Yours. Any spirit that would lie, or steal joy, any person who would condemn or denigrate — silence it. If there is any problem between You and Bajanpoet, make it clear so that it can be made right.
You promised to never leave or forsake and right now, to me, it sounds like Bajanpoet needs Abba Father, arms wrapped snugly and lovingly around, while life is sorted out and truth learned. Please, reveal Yourself to Bajanpoet today and tomorrow and each day in truth in love and in grace.
Thank you for You. For Your love. For Your grace. For being Abba Father and loving us even when we seem like we don’t love You. Thank you for answering this prayer in Jesus’ name and all the others going up for Bajanpoet.
*tears*
“You promised to never leave or forsake and right now, to me, it sounds like Bajanpoet needs Abba Father, arms wrapped snugly and lovingly around, while life is sorted out and truth learned. ”
Thank you…..
*this* was beautiful to see. true community. thank you, faye. and thank you robert for feeling the freedom to be honest….
Ya wanna know the truth? This is sickening.
I’m pretty blanking good at praying if there are people listening. I can give myself chills and
When it’s just me and God, I suck. I SUCK at praying.
I’m much more freaking concerned about impressing THE PEOPLE THAT ARE LISTENING than I am with really talking to God.
And that SUCKS.
i do the exact same thing far too often.
i so appreciate your transparency, bernard. thank you.
I even bought a book “How to Pray” once. What does a good “pray-er” (pray-ee?) look like? One who is not easily distracted? Fail. One who can actually remember what the ACTS acronym stands for then stopping to wonder if on the eighth day God created that so we’d remember how to do it right and oh look, a bunny! Fail. One who continually offers gratitude and ends with “Your will be done?” Fail. And then there’s the list of people that has been evolving since childhood. By the time I doze off to sleep, the more recent ones are mere intentions. Fail again. *sigh*
Mine is more like talking to him as a good friend sitting right there, asking whys and why nots and ifs and what ifs. I hope that’s OK with Him. More like grazing through an all-day buffet and topping it off with happy hour rather than a prolonged gourmet dining experience.
Prayer snacks. Yeah, that’s it.
I just need to be more cognizant of gratitude in prayer than always whining.
“i hope that’s OK with Him.” — i think it is, candy. i think it is…
You’re good at blogging. Maybe blogging to God works better than talking to him in your mind or out loud. I think He can read. Just sayin’
We have a lady who writes these awesome prayers that she prayers for our family. She emails them to us to encourage us. Writing prayers works for her. Maybe it focuses her or she writes better than she talks…don’t know. But, it works for her and for us.
(btw…someone has a twitter account @God. don’t think it’s really him)
Yeah… he can read …. :)
I’ve found that writing prayers out does help me – and my blog is even full of testimonies of when I’ve been writing the prayers that I’m praying over others and they’re feeling the presence of the Lord and being healed and stuff … all on instant messaging conversations :)
so true, dan! many of my blog posts are indirectly prayers to God…
my heart breaks when I read all these comments and not because I’m like “oh you losers” but because I want to look at each of you in the eyes, hold you by your cheeks and say “You’re very inhale and exhale is prayer! You are so loved by God he cannot help but hear you! Don’t be wrapped in chains of some undefined prayer life. let your LIFE be prayer!”
Almost ten years ago I started my journey to getting my “prayer life” on track. Here’s what’s happened: I journal the heck out of life and if my grocery list goods thru my mind do you know what I do? I write it down. *gasp*! I keep extra paper around sometimes just to not down all those lists that float thru my mind. No. Guilt.
This is about connecting with your God! Not checking off a to-do and then feeling crappy about it. Just BE who you are! Talk to him. Learn to listen. And be in the Word. Prayer is all of this!
For reasons only known to God, we get to partake in something that affects our reality. We get to engage inthe secret places with his Spirit. We are let in on the mysteries of heaven! ENJOY IY MY FRIENDS! we are so loved by God that our enemy wants nothing more than to convince us that we suck at praying and therefore just plain suck.
Enough of his crap!
Prayer is thought.
Prayer is higher thought
Prayer is worship
Worship is prayer
Prayer is silent tears in your pillow
Prayer is screaming at the black sky
Prayer is writing it ALL down
Prayer is hearing the Word and responding
Prayer is talking to Him randomly throughout the day
For those of us who have the Spirit of Chris in us we can be taught by Him. Tell him you think you suck at praying and be humble before him.
Ugh! I could keep going! I just love all of you so much that I would do anything to get the enemy off your backs!
Sigh…. Pray my friends. Keep it simple. Keep it real.
(typed on my phone. Excuse the Ty-po’s)
amen!
Awesome, Natalie. And great post today too. :)
Thanks for being such an encourager.
this was so beautiful, so freedom-breathing into my heart and so many others’. thank you, natalie….
up until very recently ((as in last week)) i spent most of my life relying on other’s prayer lives for me. every time life would come crashing down i would call on all of my friends and family to pray but i wouldn’t. even though i knew that i needed that aspect of communication with the Lord and that should be a huge part of my walk, i just didn’t do it.
a few years ago, i did the Bible study “Anointed, Transformed, and Redeemed” by priscilla shirer, beth moore, and kay arthur. i will never forget a line from that study that beth said “why do we spend so much time talking to our friends about our problems instead of taking them to the one that can do something about them (paraphrase).”
through this incredibly difficult season of my life, that truth has plagued me. prayer is where the power is. we cannot make/control/change our circumstances or other people but we can pray for them. prayer has become a huge and vital part of my life.
prayer for me looks like some specific times for talking to God and then little nugget/bite size prayers throughout the day. i really want to start spending some time just sitting in silence with the Lord, too. i know i need to and that is an area where i really need to grow.
i am so guilty of this. i find it really hard to pray for myself… i can pray so much more easily for others and their needs than i can for my own…
I can’t tell you over the hundred years of my life how many prayer journals I’ve started! How many of them only had about 2 or 3 pages because I was supposed to write the person’s name, then come back and put a cross beside it when it was answered.
Well, shoot! I’d write the person’s name, then freakin’ FORGET why I’m supposed to be praying for them. Then I’d do a “code” so that I’d know if it was in red, they needed to be saved, if it was in blue they were sick, if it was in black they were…. whatever! I’d lose or mess up the code. And what about those who were sick & dying and needed salvation too? HOW do you write THAT down?
So then I learned that I’m not changing God’s mind when I pray. I’m giving Him my requests, but mainly I’m praying, “Your will be done.”
I also learned that God answers ALL prayer. Just that sometimes, His answer is “No.” and sometimes, it’s “Wait awhile.” (Like He did with Lazarus.)
Now, I have no prayer journal, per se. Not like I have before. There’s no crosses… because I’d feel kinda strange putting a cross next to a prayer request for someone who was dying if they died. It was answered, but not in a “yes”.
I do write, though. I start my day in a written conversation with God. I let the rambling begin. He knows how my mind works. He designed it. He’s not put off by it, He works at training it for His uses. Nope, I will journal everything from the beautiful day before and how awesome the dinner with friends was (as if talking to my best friend about it) to how scary it feels to know that one of my mentors is facing heart problems – and “would You, God fix that? I’m not ready to do without her.”
Some days, this goes on for an hour — I lose track of time. Others, five minutes has gone and I’m ready to move on to the next thing. I’m trusting HIM more to bring to my mind those who need prayer. I have had random names pop into my mind at odd times. I think that’s the Spirit telling me, ‘PRAY!” so, I do. And like others before have said, when someone asks me to pray for them, I stop right then, with them and pray. Usually. Most of the time.
loved hearing your heart on all this, faye. thank you.
i’ve discovered that prayer isn’t so much about changing God’s mind as it is about changing me…
i’ve discovered that prayer isn’t so much about changing God’s mind as it is about changing me…”
reading these comments a day later, but yes…. this resonates with me right now…
So need changing, God…
I pray ALL THE TIME. I don’t say that to sound snotty, rather to say that for me it is a constant need in my life, like air, to keep peace in and demons out.
When I was first going through recovery, they told me I needed to wallpaper my mind with scripture and truth to combat all the lies I believed. I still carry that habit with me….a constant litany of thankfulness for God’s provision and grace and love and a constant beseeching for deliverance from my selfishness and sinful desires.
I write down prayer requests for others in a notebook, and carry it around with me for whenever I am at red lights, or waiting in line, or waiting at a dr’s office. Also have a prayer journal at home–where I asked friends/family/online buddies to send me a picture, and the kids and I pick a different one to pray over each night.
Sounds like something I need to practice.
I like that… .”I needed to wallpaper my mind with scripture and truth to combat all the lies I believed.”
Wallpapering my mind with scripture…. I like that image…. need to remember it.
That’s a great way to say that Lindsey – “wallpaper my mind with scripture”.
I find that works wonders too. . . . thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)
so much goodness in this comment, linds. i love what you said about wallpapering my mind with truth. such a good visual for me. and i love that you keep your notebook handy to pray when you’re waiting at red lights, etc. WOW. that’s a good challenge for me. thank you!
I’ve had to keep shortening this, because prayer is something that really excites me. But at the same time, is usually hard work, to be honest. It can take a lot out of me. I fight a works mentality about it, where I somehow think it has to be such and such length of time to “earn” His attention.
I talk to Him all day long, too. My thing is training myself to listen back. That takes full attention and focus. My thoughts can ping off the walls, left and right. I love to pray in a small place like a bathroom when I can completely cut off all lights and outside sounds. I need silence to hear.
I think the Holy Spirit’s been teaching me these past several years that what happens in the prayer closet is similar to intimacy between a husband and wife. That you don’t share those things that are just between the two of you with others. I don’t want God to stop sharing things with me because I’m indiscreet. That goes for praying for others, or myself.
I had something happen a few years ago that really got my attention. One night I was praying in bed. I heard, “Do you really care about what you’re praying about?” It was partly a gentle rebuke, but the other part that really excited (and still does) me is that, it was an invitation. What I sensed He was really asking me was, “Lisa, do you want to REALLY care?” I said yes. That night still comes back to me whenever I feel like I’m just going through the motions or praying out of a sense of duty. I want to pray only what He puts on my heart. I want to be sensitive to know when He’s calling me to something.
I’ve learned that it’s never about expecting or getting pats on the back from people, but about God giving me the privilege to join Him in something. Praying “bullseye prayers” is something I desperately desire. I am VERY excited about the new ways the Holy Spirit’s teaching and showing me how to pray those bulls eye prayers!
I could talk about this all day. Two books on intercessory prayer that have meant a lot to me are Dutch Sheets’ “Intecessory Prayer,” and “The Happy Intercessor” by Beni Johnson.
i KNOW you are an intercessor, lisa. i value that about you. so much.
For me prayer is taking in moments throughout the day: when I’m on Twitter and I see someone tweet a need, when a person pops into my mind, when I feel overwhelmed or in need of direction. There are also those times when I spend a longer time in prayer, but I need to do this by journaling. I too get distracted and follow rabbit trails when I pray outloud or in my head. But when I write it out I stay focused. Also, I then can look back and see when God answered prayers.
I think that anyone who says they have just an amazing, fulfilling prayer life is probably kidding themselves or doesn’t really know what a prayer life means. I don’t think there is a person who has it all together when it comes to prayer.
God has been speaking to me about this too.
My exact thoughts and feelings on prayer! Exactly! I’m glad I’m not the only one. Once two of my friends talked me into doing a hour at a prayer house and somehow they couldn’t make it and I was stuck struggling through an hour. Needless to say it was more singing and worship than intersession and prayer. Oh well maybe I’m more a worshiper than a intersessor. But like you maybe I should work at my prayer life more or did God make me like this because he wants variety in our relationships with him. Because if all everyone did was talk to God no one would be worshiping him and having little chitchats throughout the day. Hmm. Thanks for the thoughts and honesty. Its nice to know I’m not the only.
prayer can be a seasonal thing for me…which i don’t like! my best and favorite times praying are before, during, and after running or walking. i love being out in the middle of a field just chatting it out with god and for the times when i’m more silent that’s when i like to memorize scripture. that and i so so miss wednesday morning prayer at thrive…that was honey to my soul just being able to lay it out and pray together intentionally, out loud and not have anyone else’s opinions get in the way. i struggle often with the “popcorn” style prayer before or after bible studies…sometimes it just feels so much like talking at god instead of talking to god…
sooo, all of that to say, that i love praying, and am definitely a snippets here and there throughout the day but need to have that discipline to go out and run and end with a prayer walk. some days are better than others :)
i miss our wednesday morning prayer times, too. there’s something so cozy and yet so powerful about our african style of praying together as a family.
I’m so happy to had discovered your blog.
Sorry for my bad english, I’m still learning it. I’ll get there one day!
I want to say that I think it’s normal for anyone to feel unconfortable about the time we spend praying. I’d like to pray more and more. But I can’t find an specific time to do that.
I wake up very early every day to go to work, and I read my devotional book and the Bible, and I pray for a few minutes, and during my busy day I talk (in my mind) to God many times about many things, and I still feel I could do more, pray more, praise more, seek Him more.
I’ll keep trying to be better in this area.
Be blessed!
Hugs from Brazil.
:o)
i so appreciate hearing from you, gerly. and you have GREAT english!
When I was a young Christian in college, I was loved being a part of Campus Crusade. I loved the people I met through this wonderful organization! I am still in contact some 30+ years later with a few. Life-time friendships. I remember the summer I went on a mission trip with CCC. I learned a way of praying that made me feel like I could get every request lifted up. CCC had a weekly prayer planner. Divided up prayer requests into categories. Some you prayed for daily, others once or twice a week. It was a great way for me. Still do that to some extent today. Am I as committed today? No. And no good excuse for why I am not. Just because I “expect” God to hand me my life on a silver platter doesn’t mean He is gonna do that! Expectations = resentments (anger at God). That solves nothing! I hate making amends. Especially to God! Do I think I need to get naked & shut myself away from the world to pray for how I want my life to go? No. But, I need to be on my knees more. I do. But, then I need help getting up (literally). I try to pray, but mostly I think today I chose to have more of a conversation with God.