denying myself
Jesus said, “Deny yourself and follow Me.”
But instead, I’ve denied myself for everybody but Him.
I’ve sacrificed myself to follow my husband. To lead my ministry. For the sake of my family. For the love of my friends.
I’ve gotten really good at self-sacrifice. So good, that I readily throw myself under the bus to keep peace. I take responsibility for others’ wrongdoing when they’re not willing to own it themselves.
My life has been marked by the belief that I am third, which translates into putting myself last—always. I’ve spent my entire life apologizing for being me.
I’ve been denying myself.
But I haven’t been denying myself to follow Christ.
I’ve been denying myself to follow others. To simply be seen, rather than invisible. To receive love. To avoid rejection.
And in doing so, I handed the reins of my life over to everyone around me. I surrendered the control of my life to others.
I’m tired of denying myself for all the wrong reasons.
I want to live surrendered. But I want only to surrender to God.
He is the only One worth denying myself for.
So beautifully put! AMEN! Another amazing post that tugged at my heart…God is faithful. Thank you for this.
Beautifully put. I’m still trying to figure out how to live this out!
This reminds of the verse referring to our bodies as the temple of God’s. And in this truth, we are to take very good care of ourselves in all aspects, not just physically but emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. We don’t let others trash the temple, and we don’t trash it ourselves. We stand up for truth and loveliness. You have been purchased and bought with a HUGE price. And we have no right to cheapen God’s temple or give that away to someone else.
WOW that’s good stuff! I’m gonna have to read it a couple times to soak that all in… :)
once again…you write my life and my heart! thank you for putting the words out there that i can’t write on my own blog (yet).
you are brave. you are making your Father so proud. right now, you’re my hero. no joke.
So, so true! So easily done. Like I said on my blog, you are a gem in the making that keeps getting better and better.
God bless you always.
Mercedes @ http://www.ransom33.wordpress.com
Another one that just leapt off the page and my heart screamed, “YES.”
In the church, I think we esteem these things too much. “She’s so giving and sacrificial.” Yes, we’re to think of others more highly than ourselves, but where’s the line?
I just heard a great sermon about being a people-pleaser instead of a God-pleaser. That Jesus cared only about pleasing the Father, and doing His will.
It’s exhausting to always care what others think.
1 Cor. 15:31 says, “I die daily.” I think this is the way out.
I can honestly say I do this more often that I like to think I do… good reminder to start making sure I am denying myself for Christ and not others!
Alece? Don’t. Eat. The. Pie. Enough said.
so, so, SO good!
As usual, friend, you move my heart…
This is so me as well! Sometimes its easier (for me at least) to sacrifice for others because the acceptance, reward, affection, etc. is immediate and tangible. Sometimes its hard to deny myself and surrender to God because it seems like one big ?. In reality, its not. It just faith, which is the best way to live.
stay encouraged. i love reading your words of authenticity. (James 5:16)
with confession comes healing… (thank you for that verse!)
Oh the freedom that God is moving you toward. Freedom in Him that grows our vision so that we are denying ourselves for Him and no one else and willingly and with great joy! What an awesome place to be … you can breathe there and see all that God sees in you. I am so excited for where He is moving you! Love you!
man, how is that so many times I come on here and read only to see my own heart opened up on this page
so good
this is something I’ve realized about myself recently…finding balance is always tricky for me
so I read this book recently and for some reason it made me think of you- I think you would really like it
the book is called “Having a Mary heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver- it’s so unbelievably good
let me know what you think!
the title sounds like just what i need!
As a recovering-thrower-of-self-under-the-bus type myself, I know this journey well … and wrote about it in ghost #9 and #11. Teary-eyed proud, Alece.
I’m going to try to understand this one. It’s not at all easy…
so good friend. i love you
Amen sister!
This is definitely something to think about. For quite a while.
WOW… what a revelation! I’ve learned that what God reveals.. He heals
So you’re in a great position to be delivered. He (the Holy Spirit) told me once that “there’s liberty in commitment” … and for some reason right now I’m sensing that applies to our “denying self” sacrifice and surrender too. liberty and freedom to follow Jesus as He leads US. receive the life in Him that He’s destined for you to have! : )
I could’ve written this. I know it’s been my problem but, not until reading this could I put a finger on it. The most used words coming from my mouth are..”I”m sorry”. Man, this hurts. I am surrendered to so many things but, I know my life is not surrendered as it should be to God.
i still apologize far too much. but now every time i hear the words “i’m sorry” come out of my mouth, i’m more keenly aware of it. and i’m trying to take the time to stop and think what exactly is mine to own… and then only apologize for that. nothing more. nothing less.
i get stuck on this one. because Jesus did live a life of service. He gave Himself to the world. And He was afflicted and condemned. And although i’m not saying we’re Jesus-es, we are called to be Christ-like. Our first and foremost denial should definitely be for the Father. Without a doubt. But i don’t know where the line between that and denial of oneself for others is. So thank you for helping me wrestle, stranger.
i agree with putting others before ourselves and being servants.
but while this doesn’t apply to everybody, for ME, i’ve taken that to an extreme. and, if i’m being most honest, my real motivation hasn’t been to please Jesus, it’s been to please people.
Jesus said to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, and my self-love has been sorely lacking. there’s a difference between serving others first and always putting my own needs last. (this old post might help as you wrestle: http://www.gritandglory.com/2009/01/29/i-am-not-third/)
for me, it comes down to boundaries. and i’ve lived boundary-less for a long time, which has resulted in me being a doormat. and THAT doesn’t honor God. it also doesn’t show that i treasure the me He made me to be.
keep wrestling, stranger. i’m on the mat right next to you.
your real motivation hasn’t been to please Jesus, it’s been to please people.
those words have just pierced me. i realize that my motivation was self protection by pleasing people. therefore, it was still all about ME. dang, this is tough…but i am SO glad that our God loves us to the point of not wanting to leave us in that state.
loved your reply to “stranger”.
mmmm. i wonder how many, if being honest, could/should write this same post.
me, for one.
wow.
Loved it – am right there with you. Thanks for the honesty.
Powerful post…as I read it I thought about how my wife Trisha could have written this post. It made me sad, thankful and angry all at the same time. Thank you for your transparency.
This has been me since I was little… I am always trying to make it right… Thank you friend.
SO good. Thanks for writing.