listen up, guys
Men—
Can I talk to you for a minute? I’ll be quick, I promise.
The way you love your wife shows her the way Christ loves her.
Too much pressure for a fallen man?! I didn’t say it. God did. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church…”
Your wife will believe and experience Christ’s love for her to the degree that she believes and experiences your love for her. God can miraculously work in anyone’s heart and life, and women with very ungodly husbands can certainly still experience intimacy with Christ. But God puts the responsibility on you to show your wife how much He loves her.
Help your wife believe that Christ values, treasures, and adores her today.
[From a post on this day last year,
which may read a little differently now that you
know what was going on in my life at the time I wrote it.]
Dear Alece,
Thank you very much for ministering to me as a single woman. God adores me so much, my dad thinks highly of me and affirms me everyday… I sometimes thought I have a way too high bar for anyone who will come into my life. But thank you, thank you, thank you because now I am certain that I will not adapt to anything less than what He has for me. My God has His best awaiting me.
You always stretch my spirituality, sister, your reward is great for the work you have done in me only……Imagine all the lives you have changed these past weeks! You are going far, girl. I now can safely say ROM 8:28. Love u so much
wow.
as someone whose life has often resembled the book of hosea (figuratively), i can say that i am eternally grateful for a husband who strives to love me as Christ loves me.
over the past two years, i have learned more about the love of God than i ever learned in my (almost) 10 years of being a christian. and it’s all been in how my husband has loved me through my sin, through my imperfections, through my stubborn, hard-headed way of doing things. through all of it. how incredibly Christ-like that is.
i could not agree more with your post, alece.
(and i’m sorry for the hurt you must have felt during that time period and now….)
i’m so encouraged to hear how you’ve experienced this in a positive, life-giving way. that gives me hope, friend.
oh. ouch! hmmm….could be part of why i have had a hard time accepting God’s love for me. it’s been a long time coming to really believe that HE loves ME. i am going to start to cry again but something else just dawned on me. i just (as in just this moment) wrote a blog post. the only “person” i have shared my tears with is the Lord. i think that is speaking to me right now. might not make sense to you. you’re doing an amazing thing here.
love ya!
Alece, you don’t know me but I have followed your story by proxy through Sarah. You are loved and covered in prayer by us. Thank you for reminding me to love my wife and not simply say it. And to remind her she is treasured by a Great King.
i love your sarah.
and i’m so grateful for your prayers.
And us males can’t be reminded of this too often. We’re often really thick, in case you hadn’t noticed that trait…. ;)
Anything that points us to Christ, so we can be Christ for our wives, and the world, should be kept in our faces all the time. Philippians 4 is in my mind always, for that “d’oh” reminder of what I need to be doing so I can be that God reflector.
Love & prayers from Australia.
AMEN!!!!!!
May your voice of truth be heard and heeded. Thank you for speaking out. I am proud of you for not being like those bitter man-haters on Jerry MacGuire. So cliché! You are so above that, lady.
i definitely never want to come across as a man-hater! or as bitter…
I missed this post last year. Probably a good thing… Knowing now how crushed you were then … Where preachers often share this truth (in a matter-of-fact manner) from the pulpit, I see you typing this post while crying. I’m sorry. What a painful journey.
i did write it with tears.
and felt such pressure to not let anyone know that i was speaking of NOT feeling that love in my own marriage.
sigh.
Somehow I knew that’s where you were writing it from. I don’t know. I wasn’t hearing it as a “WOW, I feel loved” moment.
And I’ll echo now what I did last year.
I couldn’t agree with you more.
And in re-reading the post and comments … given what you were feeling … the fact that you went on to detail ways in which he did it right … is pretty damn near saintly.
i don’t know if it’s saintly.
i was just trying really hard. probably for my own sanity’s sake.
but thank you, friend. i appreciate your words.
definitely has a different meaning as i read it this year…thanks for the reminder, regardless of how challenging it is!!!
Thanks for not quitting on God, but still willing to be used. A great word for husbands
You inspire me…. Truly, friend, you do.
I read your post from last year, including all the comments. What struck me was that someone said, that she loved the way you and Niel loved each other…. but truly it was the way you loved Niel…. isn’t it?
You loved enough to forgive his betrayal…. You loved him as Christ loves the church….
Though this commandment was for the husbands, truly us wives should do the same… we are still God’s representitives to all we meet and have fellowship with, including our husbands.
Great post. Needed that reminder today.
i love this, alece. and it is great that we, women, are not the ones saying this…God is. of course, we support Him in this…as we should.
friend, you are a treasure of a woman. i hope you know that.
This is my first time here…I found you through your comment on Sheryl’s (the perch) blog. Your Scarlet Letter post was wonderful. Your openness and honesty were amazing. I, too, can admit to being judgemental until my precious sister’s first husband walked out on their marriage in an attrocious manner. I am reminded of this whenever I hear a couple are divorcing. It reminds me that I am not to judge, because it isn’t for me to do.
i appreciated your “confession”, Jenn.
we are all broken…
I have too tell you…
I had to gulp
back the tears this morning…
I remember right after my affair came out meeting with my pastors wife to get in the Word and pray together. She asked me how I could see the love of God working in my life at that time. And my answer was that I could see His love coming through Dan and the way he was treating me. Truly Christ like love and selflessness. To put aside his feelings of extreme hurt and brokeness and just show his love and commitment. He was so patient with me and kind. I am truly blessed. I’m sure if he had not allowed Christ to work through him I would have had a much harder time accepting Gods love and forgiveness. Something I still struggle with. I’m sorry for the hurt you must have felt while writing this and do still feel. Love to you!
Marriage is an amazing picture of Christ and the Church. ‘This Momentary Marriage’ by John Piper beautifully defines this example.
I’m working on it.
Some days are better than others, but I’m working on it.
thank you for that. the “working on it” is what matters. really.
Amen to this! Love you.
So true Alece. We men are often clueless about the notion of laying down our lives for our wives. Its not just about being willing to take a bullet for her. Its about dying to self daily, and putting her needs above our own. I certainly dropped the ball on this in my marriage. Peace <
Awesome! I am newly married and ran across your site from one of my friends blogs (http://myheartresonateswithaglorioussound.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/bristol-connecticut/) What a timely word… thank you for sharing your heart!
Beautiful posts! :)
That just cuts right to the heart… I need to hear that.
I just forwarded this on to my 16 year old who is in a new relationship. I know that is particulary directed to married men, but I aslo think boys should know this as they grow and mature also with girlfriends.
It’s also very short simple and direct. ….. and life giving
Oh and I wanted to say that I forwarded your blog post to my husband… just to remind him… hahaha! :)
He says he is trying…. :)
oh girl, it’s truth.
you, I praise God, have been carried above the love of man to living in the love of God.
I love you. I’m sorry all these posts from back there was born out of hurt and we had no idea… I love you.
“carried above the love of man to living in the love of God”… i’m still trying to figure out how to do that. i so SO want to. need to.
Amen! :)
I think I have some catching up to do around here…
Alece, that is so beautifully put. it’s amazing how God will hold us in His lap and let us cry and bring healing to our hearts… so that even in the midst of our pain, hurt, disappointment, and lonliness He empowers us to reach out and minister to others who are hurting too. Everyone don’t know how to go to God and sit in His lap… so we have to be that example for them. People can believe and connect with ministers who share their pain and trials… when they know we can truly relate to what they are going thru. Just keep letting God shine thru you and help break the bondages off many hurting women’s lives!! You Go Girl! No Weapon Formed Against You Will Prosper!!!!