four-minute friday: am i just lazy?
Go.
My energy and motivation have been record-breakingly low for days now. I blurted out a “What’s wrong with me???“ to a friend, and she asked if it was a rhetorical question. To her, it makes complete sense that I’d be feeling this way. After months (years?) of stress and ongoing fatigue and facing the hardest situations of my life, she thinks my body’s just finally getting to let down a bit.
I get what she’s saying. I just hate feeling… unglued. I don’t know if that’s the best descriptor, but that’s all my fuzzy brain can come up with right now.
I feel like I could sleep for a month. I can’t seem to think coherently. I have zero motivation to do the things on my growing to-do list, even though they’re urgent. I forget everything. I lack even the creativity or fully-processed thoughts to really blog these days. And it frustrates me that I’ve got nothing worth saying.
But this post I could do. I figure it’s only four minutes, and I’m fine with it being all rambley. For just this one post anyway.
I guess what I’m wondering is—How do I know if I should take my body/mind’s cues to disconnect for a while or if I simply need to be more disciplined?
Done.
It’s okay friend… just disconnect. Allow your body to recoop, your soul to to rejuice.
Oh man! I figured being up this late…I would be the first post…bumma! :D Sigh…I’m sorry you feel this way! It is definitely a hard place to be, especially if you’ve been going for so long…If you truely figure it out, let me know the answer! My best advice, and the answer my mom gives me whenever I am venting about feeling this way…Take one day at a time. Every morning you get up…place your day in His hands and then allow Him to complete it. If He is calling you to rest for a day….do it. A week…let Him revive you…A month..ok you might be pushing it, there…… ;D My point is, He is on this journey with you and as long as you surrender to Him, He will take you where you need to go when you need to go there…..I love you friend.
I would love to say this is what you need to do, but I can’t! What you have described could be from a vitamin deficiency to stress to depression. Or even a combination of things. l would not think Its just plan laziness as my first choice. If this persist for more than a couple of weeks I would see a doctor. As it could get worse.
Know that you are in my prayers.
you’re entitled to be disconnected, after all you’ve been through!!! I say, lock yourself away and just spend quality time with you and HIM….as much as it takes :) I don’t think we do that enough anyways.
I agree….listen to your body and soul right now and rest!
I do totally get what you are saying though. Here lately I too have lost my motivation and with me being so sick I am horribly out of the loop on all things concerning the Mission. Sometimes I forget that the world doesn’t stop with me, but things continue to happen. Then you feel like a goober for not being around when so much is going on. Ah….it’s a damn vicious cycle I think!
At any rate…..I can tell you it’s not laziness friend! :)
I agree with Heidi and Maureen.
You’re not just lazy.
My words to blog are gone… and I don’t know how to get them back. All my words are being sucked into conversations and thought processes that I can’t vocalize.
And I really just want to be in my new apartment. Like, yesterday. Kthx.
Selah.
“fuzzy brain”
check!
with that said…grap some of your tonic, slap a piece of cheese on the biscuit, sit down and here’s something just for you:
http://www.vimeo.com/2757864
still makes me laugh.
i can’t believe we didn’t make a new video on this last trip. hmph. guess we’ll just need to see each other again!
sleep for a month. sleepin to dream about sleep!
sleepin to dream about sleep, eh?
wanna join me for that month-long nap?
i could do some serious napping! Bring it!
i just stumbled upon a post i wrote last july that expresses the same inner tension over rest vs. laziness.
http://www.gritandglory.com/2008/07/03/listless/
how can i still be wrestling with the same thing a year later? grrrr.
O if I could tell you how many times I have wrested with this. Let me just echo what people have already said… it’s not lazy to let yourself rest, though it feels like it for some reason.
I wonder why it is that when something traumatic happens to us we feel obligated to carry on as if it wasn’t such a blow to every part of our lives (physical and emotional). Even if nothing terrible has happened we deserve to rest… to do nothing and throw nothing in the face of all our to-do lists. God set his never ending do-to list aside to rest on the seventh day, and then He told us to do the same.
Remember, peace in the storm Birdie. You can’t stop a storm once it’s hit, you could run around in circles telling yourself you should be out there doing something, but you won’t change the storm at all. Personally I prefer to sit in a comfy chair, close my eyes, listen to the rain and thunder… and you’re in quite a storm, it’s gonna last a while so just let it be what it is. If your body says rest, listen!
tell me you’re gonna be at april’s wedding. i so want to give you a hug.
*sigh* you fill my heart with warm fuzzies…I really wish I could be there but it’s so close to the Fair and I think I’ll be working :(
I would so fly down just for a hug from you though….
please please please please????
oh don’t make me beg.
i won’t even tell april that you’re really there for me! HA!
Tee Hee, well maybe if you don’t tell…
and if you say please just once more…
PUH-LEASE!!!?!?!??!
come on! you know you wanna!
(i’ll be there the 12th-16th, by the way)
pretty please?
awe gee… how can I say no to that? I can just see you batting your big blue eyes at me… that puppy dog face… dang it!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z72Uv-qMci0
great song.
How do you know? I don’t know. But I’d strongly recommend the former. God is a strong believer in rest. It’s a big thing for Him. He doesn’t think like an American. I’d say … rest.
What do I know, …but it doesn’t sound like laziness to me. Can I put my finger on why I say that? No, but I somehow just know it’s not laziness. I’d advise [if I were one to give advice] doing a “Mary” and just sitting at His feet.
i definitely need to mary-it-up.
this week.
thank you for the nudge.
You? Lazy? Ever? In your whole life?
Unless I’m a severely bad judge of character, that’s highly unlikely.
Beth Moore has a teaching about the Sabbath. She talks about how we are to take pause to rest after something is done. God rested after Creation – and we are to rest after huge projects – after busy seasons – after intense rest. It’s the only way our body can replenish itself for what’s next. If all we have is given out for something, we’ve gotta inhale. We’ve GOT to, or else we’ll spiritually suffocate.
You? You, my friend, are due for a long quiet Sabbath.
i know you’re right. and at the same time, i have no idea what a “long quiet sabbath” should look/sound/feel like.
The short answer to what it look/sounds/feels like? Vacation. ;)
i wish!
you could always take a day off and drive to south carolina to meet my fambily. ;-) that’s not much of a vacay.
you’re always welcome in indiana… but there’s not much to do other than hang out with me. ha!
my ideal vacation right now would be 10 days on an exotic beach, with a gorgeous view and a friend to sip cold frothy beverages with.