i don’t ask for prayer very often
My posts lately, including some still in my drafts folder, speak of faith and truth and victory. And while those things are strong on my heart, they remain (mostly) desires rather than reality. I write more for me than for you (no offense), and my posts serve to remind me of what God’s speaking to my heart.
But it doesn’t mean I walk those things out very well. I try. I do. But I fail more often than not.
So while you know what my heart longs for, a look inside reveals more fear than faith, a lack of confidence, a lingering sense of hopelessness, a strong desire to just stop this train and climb off.
I’m flying back to South Africa tomorrow for a few weeks. I’m going home but, for the first time ever, it doesn’t feel like home at all. And I don’t know what to do with that. I’ll be facing my own demons, hurts, and griefs, and I don’t at all feel ready. I’m not strong enough. I don’t have enough faith. I have no choice but to do it afraid.
But I’m tired. Physically, yes (always am). But I mean on the inside. The battle has been long and intense, and I’m tired of the fight.
Will you pray for me?
I need strength. Wisdom. Grace. Patience. Faith. Discernment. To be slow to anger and quick to love. A right heart. To not grow weary in doing good.
I need hope. Joy. Peace. Wholeness in the midst of brokenness. Eyes to see Him. To abandon my self-sufficiency and develop a new sense of God-sufficiency.
I need boldness. Clarity. Understanding. To live righteous and honor God. To speak the truth in love. To fear Him more than I fear anything else.
It’s a long list, I know.
Will you pick something you do every day to serve as a reminder to pray for me? Maybe drinking coffee can nudge your heart to lift me up. Or perhaps you can talk to Him about me when you’re working out. Or going to bed. Or feeding your dog. Or every time you apply lip gloss.
Please pick something—anything—to be a prayer prompter.
Cause I can’t do this alone.
Wow, I truly appreciate your honesty here, and I will certainly be praying for you. My heart is heavy for you, and everything you’re going through. Much love!
BTW – my prompt is when I turn on my computer, which I do about 15-20 times a day. :)
I’m sorry I haven’t been up at the computer much lately, but even in my absence, never doubt that you are prayed for daily.
You are loved, held, encouraged, believed in, adored, and carried by me each and every day.
And on your journey, know that you are strong, wise, beautiful, deserving, worthy… a child of God who will walk in steps that will make you even stronger and more steadfast than before. It requires you to walk through the center of the storm, I know, but that’s where Jesus is standing, waiting for you, ready to walk through it with you. Be strong for yourself, for your mission, for God’s will. And when you feel weak, know we are standing strongly beside you.
And yes, my sassafrass, you are deep down sassy, too :)
I apply lip gloss all day long.
Consider it done.
Love you, Alece!
i love that you told me what your prompter will be.
and i’m also that girl who glosses her lips all day!
My heart is continually with you, friend. It’s hard for me to NOT think about and pray for you! I agree with gitz. We ARE standing strongly beside you. How GREAT is our God!
Loving you…..
a) i love you of course.
b) everytime i look at my mammabird of course I will think of the other mammabird :)
c) everytime I see my beautiful tattoo on my arm i will pray for you.
d) I am so proud of you and your gonna be where your heart is most.
e) I just love you, i’m praying always friend.
keep walking it girl, i’m still here with the water.
i got an outlined list! that made me smile big, j-bird.
knowing that you’ll be praying for me when you’re with your mammabird and when you see your ink means al ot.
love you.
duh you got a list cause i had to spell it out for you.
break it down REAL GOOOOOOOD.
and i love you more mammabird :)
Friend.
I am thinking of you, always.
I will take a picture for you, but your requests that you told me over the phone, and these are in my journal (that you gave me, by the way. hehe.) with your name real big and everything is circled.
I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
that’s a whole lotta love! yesssssss! (bah)
you’re using the journal i gave you? that made me smile big.
thank you for praying. know that you’re always in my heart, and i’ll be thinking and praying for you. a lot.
I’m convinced more and more and more that the enemy wants us to hesitate to ask for prayer (“You can’t ask again, you just asked last week, time to stand on your own two feet, blah blah”). It’s because he knows what it does for both the prayER and prayEE.
So many in your corner, Alece, lifting you up.
I will definitely be praying for you! THank you for being so real. Love you!
Gosh, I’m still somewhat hung up on the fact that we really don’t know each other but, I’m excited to see what God is doing in your life.
I’ll put your name down with the names of 7 friends who are in a closed Asian country for the next few weeks, so I can remember to lift you up daily.
I like the long list actually. It is such a good reminder of how much grace we all need daily, and to humbly depend on God and lift one another’s needs before Jesus.
I have only recently come to follow you along your journey via your blog. The passion, intensity, authenticity and desire for Christ in your writing is very real. I related to you right away.
Your statement, “So while you know what my heart longs for, a look inside reveals more fear than faith, a lack of confidence, a lingering sense of hopelessness, a strong desire to just stop this train and climb off.” could have come from the pages of my own journal. My heart goes out to you.
I check my blog reader frequently every day. I wil pray for you everytime I check it.
Remember last June, our friendship was blooming, we would send ten questions back and forth learning about each other? member?
Well we would sign off time to time with “we are an ocean away”
Dipping my toes in the surf, I will remember you and pray for you fiercerly.
But… when my toes cannot touch, the mussel shell that I have been carrying for YOU only will remain in my pocket.
Love you my fierce sweet friend.
of course i remember. i love that we did that.
i appreciate knowing that the ocean and that shell will be reminders to pray for me. thank you, fierce friend.
Consider me one of the many who will be thinking and praying for you as well.
And since I am giving up coffee (mainly the sugar) I can’t use that as a prompter, but I am up every day at the break of dawn feeding a little person and well I can’t help but smile that we’ll be seeing the same sun peak over that African horizon, even if it in a different country…..so that’s when my prayers will go up.
Praying for you as you step into all these unknown feelings and even situations. Just remember that Africa is your home…….aside from everything else, she’s missed you, she’s calling you home, and I sense that there will be some great healing and closure in your time here.
Love you my friend…….any chance you could just swing up to Bots for a few days?????? I mean, I’m just sayin’ :)
Hugs and safe travels!
Sarah
you made my eyes well up, sarah.
“she’s missed you, she’s calling you home”… that just wrecks me. thank you…
Oh Alece, know that I will be praying for you sweet friend everyday! Remember, that you are equipped for every good thing. The Lord is with you and in you and standing next to you. Just stand on His feet and let Him do the walking. Fear and condemnation are from satan. Perfect love, that love that is in you, casts out fear and there is no condemnation for those who are in Him.
He is holding you in the palm of His hand and He will not ever let go! I am so proud of you. And, I am proud of you for asking for prayer. You are going to do great. This is just the beginning! Oh what joy!
Love you!
I have been FYPing every day.
I am FYPing every day.
I will be FYPing every day.
Your blog address is on my handy-dandy FireFox quick clicks tool bar. That will be my extra prayer prompter.
You are loved by me.
Got it.
“I need strength. Wisdom. Grace. Patience. Faith. Discernment. To be slow to anger and quick to love. A right heart. To not grow weary in doing good.”
Oftentimes, we want such Fruit in the midst of our challenges, but God does not simply wave a “magic wand” to give them to us. He puts in situations that force us to rely upon Him, not upon ourselves, so that the Fruit of the Spirit might bloom within us. That is what He is doing.
Communion is so much more than bread and wine. It is God working with us in our brOKenness. He takes us as we are, but He never leaves us that way. And He always finishes what He starts. It takes a lifetime for a child of God to grow up.
As someone recently reminded us, “These drills are designed to expose your flaws.”
You say, “A look inside reveals more fear than faith, a lack of confidence, a lingering sense of hopelessness, a strong desire to just stop this train and climb off.”
But, actually, that reminds me of Mother Theresa, whose writings revealled that she had more doubts than faith, more questions than answers, and an enduring struggle to find hope–much like yourself.
Faith does not mean we think everything will okay, nor that every trial will pass swiftly and easily. Faith, to me, simply means that I have a Way out of this dang mess eventually.
And so do you.
I’ll be praying you’ll remember that.
these drills are definitely exposing my flaws.
thank you for your prayers.
My Sweet One – Only God can soothe the hurts. Live life day-to-day and give God time to work. I am o-so praying for you.
L
j
how about every time I blink?
deal.
this made my night.
The Grit has become one of my most frequented daily sites. I love reading what you have to say and even though we have never met, know that what you write inspires me.
Every time I get on Facebook (and that is a lot) I will be praying for you!!
wow, mal.
thank you.
I can only imagine the journey that is ahead of you … but know that many will be holding you up before the Lord in prayer. I live in my car … for work & pleasure. Everywhere I go over the next few weeks, I will take my Thrive Africa traveler mug with me. (Thanks, Roo!) When I lift it up, I will lift you up.
Can’t wait to see some new pics from Hope House! (If you get a chance to go there!)
oh i’ll be going.
i need me some hugs.
From the pics I have seen … those are some s-s-w-e-e-e-e-e-e-t hugs! Something to look forward to, Alece!
yes, i will. how bout diaper changes!?
i love you!
No problem Alece.
As a means of encouragement I’ll just say this. I think it helps to remember when things are really hard that you belong exactly where you are. I didn’t always want to be in the middle of South Africa last year and at times I was angry, frustrated, emotional and just plain in the wrong state of mind. But then (usually within a day or so) I would find myself doing an activity or being with some people and my only thought was “I can’t imagine being any where else than right here at this moment, and I don’t want to”
I really can’t think of anyone who belongs in South Africa more than you. So go with the confidence that God is with you and that you have an entire (gigantic) blog’s worth of support and then some behind you as well.
“I really can’t think of anyone who belongs in South Africa more than you. ”
can i ask why??
(and thank you for everything you said. seriously.)
I felt your heart in this…Ummmmm during my internship at thrive we had to remember or shall i say memorize the mission statement…. daily in my life now i am inprisoned to “doing things with excellence”.. so at work when i hate cleaning up after people but have to do it excellently…i will pray for you!
i’m glad you’ve got that ingrained in you.
and i’m smiling knowing that you’ll be praying for me while you’re cleaning with excellence!
i love you.
sure will!
how about everytime i spin my ring around on my finger…now that’s putting my ocd to good use :)!
i’m loving all the creative ways/times i’m gonna be prayed for!
so encouraging…
Blistex. I love me some Blistex. Will prayer for you on every application. :)
I will.
My prompter is my rings.
I will remember you.
Weird. I seriously read through Danielle’s comment before I posted … and somehow I’m 9 comments back! Odd.
It just did it again.
i had changed the timezone of my blog to SA and then decided to move it back — somehow that messed up the order of some of the comments. sorry ’bout that!
Oh no worries at all! I actually wondered if that’s what it was. Especially since Danielle’s comment came through 3 hours into the future! lol. No worries.
I will be praying for you all the time!!! I wish I could be there with you to help lift you up, but since I can’t I’ll be praying!!! Since you are will be traveling, I will make my prayer prompter my rides on busses and sherruts. I’m on them a lot so I will be praying a lot!!! I love you so much Alece!
I’m praying for you as I drink my coffee in the mornings.
My 8-year old son chose you as his missionary to pray for last fall (for AWANA). He prayed for you every night for over a month. I’ll ask him to start praying for you every night, again.
wow, sarah. thank you.
alece, this makes my heart very heavy for you! I know exactly what it is like to have those feelings. I used to have them every day…till God broke my brokeness last summer in sa. I will be praying for you….I think about sa all the time, especially right now as the summer interns are getting ready to leave. And how cold it is! :) I will be praying for you!!! Isaiah 54:10 holded me up! Love ya!
aleceness!
1…i’ll be praying for you. a lot. like i already do.
2…my prayer prompter…everytime i’m thinking about packing or when i’m getting ready to get on that 18hr flight myself.
3…does this mean i’ll actually get to meet you in person? : )
loves.
i read “aleceness” out loud and chuckled. thanks for that!
and … you know… i think we WILL get to meet! ready for a hug?
yay! that makes me so happy to hear that.
yes, i am ready for a hug. a big one. : )
I think of you every time I go by the green bedroom that you’ve been staying. I pray when I look into that room……….Be Blessed
How about this… I put you on my outlook calendar – you are a calendar event, and I will pray for you at 1:00 every day (or as close to it as I can). Boring I know, but at least I will remember.
Praying.
mascara time=prayer time. ;)
i wish i knew who you were.
i’m grateful for your prayers.
I don’t mean to be silly or weird, but I’m going to pick deodorant. Because that’s something I do every single day. So, when I put on my deodorant every morning, I will pray for my sweet, strong friend Alece.
i love it!
thank you.
I just now saw this, but I’m joining the others, praying for you!
And this might sound strange, but when I asked God what my prompt should be, the only answer I got (I hope it’s Him), was when I make bread…which I do almost every day, since the kids go through a loaf every day! That also means I’ll probably pray for you while I’m cutting it, and they’re eating it, and they’re asking me to make more. :-)
(((((hugs))))))
So I am a little behind in my blog reading and just read this
Been praying for you
had a feeling you were going back or are back
Praying for you sweet friend!! I wish we could’ve met in OH next week. :( Praying for your time in Africa…that God will bless it far more than you ever thought He could. Praying for strength, peace, comfort, love, forgiveness, and grace. Love! Jen
Brrr…..sorta makes you wish you could take Mr. Bucks with you eh? I know there have been many a morning so far where I could use a hot frothy drink! :)
thank you, everybody, for your commitment to pray for me. and for all the creatively unique ways you’ll remember to do so!
my heart feels strengthened already this morning, knowing i’m surrounded by such a veritable army.