four-minute friday: demon treadmills
Go.
I’m afraid of treadmills.
No, really. I am.
I’ve been hanging out with Gym for several months now. I’ve run on the track, used the cross trainer, lifted weights, even taken Zumba classes. But I haven’t even touched one of the treadmills. I barely even glance in their general direction. They’re scary.
Stop sneering. It’s a completely rational fear.
Because I know what can happen on a treadmill.
I’ve laughed at seen enough videos to know that in a fight against a treadmill, I would surely lose. Every time.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Then you should watch these clips and laugh learn your lesson. They’re all short videos, but if you’re in a real hurry at least watch this one. These five seconds could spare you serious bodily harm down the road.
[youtube]dqQGT8bZt5I[/youtube]
Treadmills are of the devil.
Just like moths.
Done.
ha! that’s one of my very favorite funny videos on failblog. http://mirandabean.wordpress.com <—this chica and i have probably watched it like a thousand times. at least. ♥
Looks like user error to me
I had a friend in HS who was on the treadmill and actually fell behind and in the end of it all had treadmill marks on her face. I died laughing for days every time I saw her. On the treadmills defense though, she had no right to even be on it it in the condition she was (a little too much partying) so it made it even funnier.
On a serious note, did you hear about Mike Tyson’s daughter and her tragic death from the treadmill? It just happened, I saw it on the news. Sad.
And then there are those inspired moments of treadmill choreography:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S3SM22ajMA
I laughed until I cried when I watched this! There are still tears in my eyes!
i have always LOVED that video. that’s serious talent right there.
You know… people shouldn’t use video of other people without their permission. I mean, if that was anyone BUT me, it would be funny. Not that that specific person is me. (But it could have been.) Sniff.
hence my growing fear of video cameras.
to that i raise my venti st. arbucks and take another sip! and try not to spit it back out as i crack up laughing!!
We’re not given a Spirit of Fear…… I mean, I’m just sayin’ that it sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind to STAY afraid of treadmills.
I OFFERED to dispell the fear for you last week by teaching you how to safely use one.
Scaredy cat.
maybe if your offer didn’t also include a rolling video camera, i may have taken you up on it!
You should sometime ask Davidface about his theory on toaster ovens. He’s got a pretty convincing argument that toaster ovens are the devil.
note to self: ask david about toaster ovens next week!
That will be $5.00 for cleaning the Raisin Bran off my computer screen.
ohhhh… you’re hanging out with brandy!?
HA!
Hardee ha ha!!
I only wish I could hang out with your girls. I’m actually trying to listen to this serious speaker. I’m already bored.. lal laa laa laa *I’m hungry la la
i wish i were hanging with you and raisin bran too!
bummer about the boring speaker. i HATE that.
I would like to point out a specific adjective in the title of your embedded video.
Stupid
You are not stupid.
Plus when you get on it, they aren’t moving, and you push the little up button and it starts at 0.1. A normal walking pace (for me) is 3.0.
As long as you are sober and not stupid, you should be fine. I promise.
haaa ha ha!
funny!
ahhh ha ha ha
and yes moths are the devil…haven’t read that other post yet but did you see that movie mothmanprophecies or somethinglike that? My sister had me watch it with her and it scared me for days….dont watch it if you haven’t.
Run outside! I love that more than the treadmill. It makes great great worship time with just you and the Lord
That was amazing.
I watched that approximately five times in a row.
….I WAS going to go to work early and run on the treadmill today….was. Maybe I’ll just walk to work instead. :]
Hilarity! I hope one day I’ll be fortunate enough to witness one of these catastrophes live. Preferably a complete stranger.
The video was funny but they should ban video cameras from gyms. Actually we should be able to sue anyone who takes our picture in public, without our permission. Not that I do anything embarssing in public.
When my uncle was in his 70′s his doctor signed him up for a stress test. Trying to walk on the treadmill almost killed him. He had three people trying to help him stay on it. I must admit it was a little funny to watch. When I drove him home he was ready to kill his doctor. We never talked about the incident again.
Yes treadmills, and video cameras in public, are tools of the devil.
treadmills are evil and frankly stupid. running was meant for the great outdoors no matter the weather. you can commune with nature, see the world and run exactly how you want to run and not be dictated by an artificial belt that if you lose concentration will punish you with the hilarity of the above clips.
I grant some people like controlled temps, a TV in front of them and a sweaty person by their side with their Ipod turned too high to MC hammer.
As for me and my fitness I’ll stick to the roads.
“as for me and my fitness…”
good times, good times.
since it’s kind of the same concept, are you afraid of getting on and off escalators too?
nope. i avoid touching the handrails though. FUNK CENTRAL! nast.
i do have this vivid memory of my flip-flop getting caught in an escalator as a child, and i was afraid of riding them for a while after that. my mom tells me the flip-flop thing never happened though… so maybe my brain’s making up its own memories!
The gym was nearly empty–no one else on the cardio machines when my son and I went to lift last wk. I wanted to warm up so went to the treadmill, only for a few minutes….walking of course. And it hit me…the urge to run on the treadmill. I’ve never done it…the fear has always been too much ;-)
Yes, I’m laughing hysterically because I too was afraid….so my son started running next to me and I gathered up all the courage I could and….I DID IT!!!!!
Totally serious–just last wk!! Check it–even wrote about it!! http://rindy.wordpress.com/2009/05/22/running/
So go for it girl!!
look at that! we both blogged about treadmills this week!
one time, when my brother was working for a hotel he heard a loud crash in the weight room.
yeah…
an “elderly” lady bit it while trying to use the “demon machine”.
me?
i love the treadmill. i’d have one in my house…errr…spare bedroom if i could!!
oh that poor woman!
and, once again, i am so sorry for your spare oom. sigh… praying for grace.
p.s…i was just thinking about the moth story the other night.
mmmm….lemonade.
i’ll drink lemonade with you any day.
I find it funny and ironic that you posted this today considering I work at the YMCA and had to render first aid to a treadmill victim just a few hours ago.
do tell the story!
I wasn’t actually there to see it (i just responded to the call for first aid) so I can’t share with you the details of what happened but I can fill you in on the results of the 40 year old woman’s lost battle with the “demon” treadmill.
Her injuries were not too bad but she did have “treadmill burns” on both of her elbows and a small bump on her head. Other than that she was fine. Because I was not there to withness the takedown, I can only imagine what happened based on the battle wounds she received. From what the woman told me, she just had the speed up too high and lost her balance.
After we checked her out and fixed her up, she hopped on an eliptical and said that she’d stick to those for a while.
treadmill burns?! yikes!
case. in. point.
!!!!
i ran on one tonight. in your honor. it sucked.
I’m pretty sure that vid was staged. For one thing … treadmills aren’t just randomly running at a breakneck speed with no one on them. Secondly, how did the camera just happen to be trained on her and not on the other girl who also ran into the room? Definite setup.
Treadmills aren’t anything to be afraid of. Seriously. I’m with Nat on that one. But I’m also with Matt P – running in the great outdoors has some obvious pluses that simply aren’t found on the ‘mill. It is my covert theory that treadmills give you about half of the actual workout of running on a non-moving road. On a treadmill, the ground moves under your feet. All you have to do is pick your feet up. On a road, you propel yourself. The energy and muscle work that’s responsible to do that is completely missed on a treadmill. Besides the fresh air, beautiful (and changing!) scenery, total lack of other sweat balls around you … yeah, I’d pick the real thing.
I mean …
were I to ever … run.
Every now and then in college when it was raining, or I was really unmotivated, or coming back from injury, I would run on the treadmill. The next day my legs would feel twice as rested as they would if I had run on the roads. Perhaps it had to do with the relative hardness of the surfaces but either way a treadmill does not give the same effect as running outdoors.
Is running outdoors harder? Sure, but that’s why it’s so much healthier and effective as a mode of exercise than just about anything else. And while I find the (somewhat legit) fears of eating it on a treadmill pretty overblown, that’s not gonna happen outside.
I love the close ups one the carousel!
LOL I watched several times and laughed a lot (I mean, learned my lesson).
success! :)
did you watch the one where the guy peels himself off the floor, pulls up his pants, and simply runs away?! ha! gets me every time.
oh my gosh! I was rolling on the floor!! He didn’t even look around, just jetted. And that chick that’s walking past just totally ignores him… good times, good times.
ha ha! i know. cracks me UP!
Believe it or not, I genuinely know someone who did this. While the church VJ was shooting a video for the upcoming series. And they used the footage of his fall in the video. It. Was. Hysterical.
seriously!? oh i wish i could see it!