four-minute friday: demon treadmills
Go.
I’m afraid of treadmills.
No, really. I am.
I’ve been hanging out with Gym for several months now. I’ve run on the track, used the cross trainer, lifted weights, even taken Zumba classes. But I haven’t even touched one of the treadmills. I barely even glance in their general direction. They’re scary.
Stop sneering. It’s a completely rational fear.
Because I know what can happen on a treadmill.
I’ve laughed at seen enough videos to know that in a fight against a treadmill, I would surely lose. Every time.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Then you should watch these clips and laugh learn your lesson. They’re all short videos, but if you’re in a real hurry at least watch this one. These five seconds could spare you serious bodily harm down the road.
[youtube]dqQGT8bZt5I[/youtube]
Treadmills are of the devil.
Just like moths.
Done.
i know it by heart
When I was young, I often said “I know that by heart.” Phone numbers and time tables. Scripture verses and history facts. Capital cities. My friends’ favorite things. The periodic table of elements. Songs. I knew a lot of things by heart.
If I used the phrase today, it would speak less of facts memorized and more of a perceived sense of knowing. Sometimes I can’t find words for what I know or how I know it or why I feel a certain way. It’s beyond intuition. God’s graced me with discernment.
Some things I just know by heart.
It can be bittersweet at times. When something seems painfully obvious to me and others don’t see it, or when I just know what others deny to be true, it can feel like my discernment is a curse. A weight. But even when it’s heavy, I am grateful for it.
I want my heart to be more in tune with Him tomorrow than it is today. I want to remain sensitive, soft, and open to Him. I want to hear His Spirit’s whispers more clearly. I want to have even greater discernment.
So I’ve started praying the words of the Psalmist—
“I am Your servant; give me discernment that I may understand Your statutes.”
Because there’s a whole lot more I want to know by heart.
control
I don’t have control over my circumstances.
But I do have control over myself.
What will I do with it today?
mine to tell
I kind of hate what my blog has become.
I write from my heart, so my blog reflects the heaviness that’s been my life for the past six months. And while I haven’t felt ready to share details of what’s going on, I’ve tried to write with openness and authenticity about my journey. I just hate that the result has been a lot of heavy, weighty posts.
I know my ambiguity may be confusing at times. But I assure you I’m not trying to be dramatic. I’m not seeking to create an air of suspense or intrigue. It’s not a publicity stunt. My life simply is what it is. And, even void of details, my writing is unavoidably colored by it.
Sometimes I wish I had a poker face.
But most of the time, I’m glad I don’t.
My story is mine to tell. I still can’t right now, but someday I will. That thought brings both freedom and trepidation. Telling my story means owning my story. And I’m not quite ready to fully accept that it’s real. That it’s mine. That it is permanently woven into the fabric of my life.
But it is.
Whether I like it or not.
And although I hate what my blog has become during this season, I’m gonna keep writing masklessly. Because the real me is all I’ve got to offer.
Take it or leave it.
Take me or leave me.
we have a winner
In a surprising turn of events, TheNorEaster swooped in and stole the 20K comment! Congrats, Nor!
I thought for sure that @ngie, Joy Renee, or Andrew (get a blog!) would have won it, with their ridiculously creative commenting this past week. And to be completely honest, I actually held out hope that a “real” comment would take it. Not to dismiss the fun I had with all the crazy banter. But, ya know. A girl can dream.
Way to go, Nor! Your persistence paid off.
Email me and let me know which prize you want.
And as for the rest of you—
Thank you for so faithfully coming back to read what I have to say. You’re so my favorite part of blogging.
Happy 20K, y’all!
brOKen
ApplePie was wearing it when I first met her. I complimented her unique bracelet and she told me a friend made it to remind her that she may be broken, but she’s ok. We talked about the significance of that in each of our lives and went on with the day.
If I remember correctly, I was cooking my won’t-stay-single-for-long vodka cream pasta and we discussed the proper way to cut feta for salad. But I digress.
Fast forward a couple years. (Or has it been only one?)
I opened the package that was waiting on my bed when I returned from my Atlanta getaway, and there it was. The broken bracelet. For me.
Because more than ever before in my life, I need to remember that though I’m broken, I’m ok.
I still cling to His promise of wholeness. Nothing missing. Nothing broken. But in the meantime, I’m becoming more okay with my own brokenness.
Because God’s in the pain with me.
coffee talk: betting the farm
What’s a cause, an idea, an anything that you’d risk everything for?
Talk amongst yourselves.
sex ed
You know those security check “captcha code” things? You sometimes see them when you comment on blogs or post links on Facebook. Well, they annoy me. But that’s really beside the point.
I only bring it up because, well…
See for yourself.
What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen lately?
mentorship
Mentor and mentorship seem to be real buzz words right now. But I’m not sure I really know what they even mean. I understand them in theory, but not in practice.
I’ve never had a mentor.
Many leaders who’ve earned my respect and admiration have poured into me—some I know personally and some I don’t. I love learning, so I often seek out opportunities to glean from others—by asking questions, by simply observing, by engaging in open dialogue. But never in a formal “will you be my mentor” kind of way. And I don’t know that I’ve ever had someone take me under their wing by their own initiative either. But that could be just my fuzzy brain talking.
While I desire to be a leader who’s quick to notice and develop potential in others, I don’t know that I can honestly say I’ve mentored anyone. There are many I’ve intentionally poured myself into. But because it wasn’t specifically asked for or labeled “mentorship”, can I really say I was mentoring them? If my mentee (don’t know what else to call ‘em!) doesn’t say I’m their mentor, does it still count? I don’t know.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to answer any or all of my Qs—
- What does mentorship mean to you?
- Do you have a mentor?
- What does that look like? How formal or informal is it?
- How did you find/get your mentors?
- Are you a mentor? To whom?
- What does that look like? How formal or informal is it?
- How did you find/get your mentees?
20K prize
You guys gave me some great ideas on the prize for the 20K competition. Here’s what I’ve decided.
The person who posts the coveted 20K comment will win their choice of:
- a personalized Moleskine journal with thoughts from me scribbled throughout it
- a framed photograph of mine (of your choosing) with some ramblings from me about the picture
- a $50 gift card to wherever you want
So get commenting. (Time to de-lurk, all you Grit stalkers!)
Not another word from me on the subject until I’m announcing the winner…
