coffee talk: sock etiquette
Here’s the deal: I don’t know sock etiquette.
So help a sister out: What socks do you wear when?
Break it down nice and simple for me please.
explainless in columbus
“What are you doing in Ohio?” is my least-favorite question in the whole world right now.
Because I simply don’t know how to answer it.
I don’t know how to explain why the only thing on my schedule everyday is a counseling session. Or why I’m not working anywhere. Or why I sit in Starbucks or Panera for hours on end, simply for free internet and a change of scenery. Or why I ended up in a city where I have no friends.
Actually I do know how to explain it. It’s just a loaded answer. Very loaded. And not something I want to divulge just yet, even to people I know and love. Least of all to a fellow Starbucks regular or a hairdresser or a chick at the gym.
I’m not very creative, so I’ve yet to come up with a good “story”. I don’t want to fabricate anything, but I do need to think of a better way to answer the question when I’m asked. Because right now my blank stare, repeated shrugs, and “Ummm… Well… It’s just… Yeah…”, always leave me walking away feeling like a complete idiot.
So while this may have given you more questions than answers, please hear at least this: I’m not trying to be elusive, or coy, or confusing.
I’m just being quiet.
coffee talk: jesus’ family tree
I’ve got a theology question.
Now don’t run away because you don’t feel qualified to talk theology. I’m not looking for expert advice. I’m looking for honest thoughts. And I know you have those to give me. So I hope you will.
The New Testament starts out with the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1.
I’ve heard that referred to countless times to show the legacy of those in Jesus’ ancestry: Abraham’s great faith, David’s man-after-God’s-own-heart-ness, Solomon’s wisdom. I’ve also heard it used to show the unlikely characters that God used in Jesus’ family tree, like Rahab the prostitute and Bathsheba the adulterer.
I love all that.
But this is where I get hung up: The genealogy ends with “…Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.”
That’s Joseph’s family tree. And Joseph, while Jesus’ earthly dad, wasn’t His biological father. Jesus comes from Mary’s bloodline, but not from Joseph’s.
So how can Joseph’s ancestors be listed as Jesus’ family tree?
Any thoughts?
thoughts from the quiet girl
Those who know me best know I’m not always quiet. But I often am.
Especially in a crowd.
And even more especially with a group of strangers I’m supposed to suddenly connect with on some deep level.
Then I’m definitely the quiet one.
There are a lot of reasons why—some I’m aware of and some I’m not able to see clearly just yet. I know underlying most of them is the trust factor.
I strongly value trust and trustworthiness. So situations where I’m supposed to open up to people I don’t yet trust—forced sharing, if you will—make me largely uncomfortable.
I was in a situation like that a few days ago. People all around me were sharing freely, and I just kept thinking, “I’m not built that way.” I didn’t say very much, and while I was okay with my reservedness, I found myself wondering what it made the others think.
I fear that my quietness makes people assume things about me which are not only unintended but also inaccurate. I’m afraid I might come across as arrogant, stuffy, or annoyed.
(Feeling misunderstood is one of the worst things for me.)
So I’d love your honest input:
What assumptions do you make about the quiet person in a group?
[Feel free to comment anonymously if you can be more honest that way.]
lord, i’m sorry
Lord, I’m sorry for thinking You love me the same way others do.
For assuming You’ll withhold affection until I’ve paid penance or until You’re “over it”.
For imagining that You hold me at arm’s length most of the time and invite me in only when You want to want me.
For thinking You see me through eyes of disappointment, seeing only how far I am from all I could be and should be.
For presuming You only love me because You have to and not because You want to.
For guessing You hold my mistakes against me, just as I do with myself.
For acting as though You think I’m discardable and unwantable.
For forgetting that You love me for who I am and not for who I can be.
Lord, I want to believe.
everything’s right
We went to a show downtown on Saturday. Having SweetFriend with me for my first concert in America in over twelve years was a gift. And, let me tell you, we had so much fun.
Apparently Mr. Man in front of us could tell we were having a blast. About 3/4 of the way through the night, he turned around and said—
“You guys definitely know how to have a good time. I think you’re having more fun than anyone else in here.”
Really!? We didn’t think we were being loud or ostentatious at all.
Despite the fact that I can now say I’ve danced on a bar.
**ADDED** – Be sure you check out my disclaimer / confession.
this day last year: bare-handed
The story of creation is an incredible one. For so many reasons. But mostly because it shows me so beautifully the unmatched worth we have in God’s eyes.
God spoke everything into existence, which is a whole mind-blowing thing right there. “Let there be…” and there was. That is just incredible in a way I can’t fully comprehend.
There God was, balancing between time and eternity, forming galaxies, hippos, mountains, and clown fish with His words. But when He created mankind, He used His bare hands. He stooped down to make us great. Words would not suffice.
He wanted us to bear His thumbprint.
He loved us enough to form us with His own hands. He wanted to hold us, rhythmically massage our hearts to kickstart their first beats, and be the first thing we saw when we opened our eyes. I imagine that our first case of goosebumps came from Him caressing our skin.
And then He breathed into us. Face to face, we inhaled our first breath as He exhaled into our nostrils. I cannot even fathom the worth, the wealth, of that breath of life.
God still wants to get down and dirty with me. When my life is a mess or it feels like I’m wallowing in the mire of my emotions and circumstances, it’s easy to think God is far-removed from it all. But He’s right here in the dirt next to me. It’s nothing new to Him. He’s been there, done that.
And more than willing to do it again.
[from an entry originally posted this day last year]
housekeeping!
I’ve been on vacation for almost a week. Well, kind of.
Being with my sweet friend Tracee felt like a vacation; the fact that we were in Ohio did not. (No offense, Ohioans. I’m guessing that even you’d prefer to vacate out of state!)
We talked about everything and nothing, and anything in between. And we set the bar high on doing absolutely nothing and enjoying every minute of it.
This much I know is true: Tracee is good for me.
And now I miss her. (Again.)
Vacation is over. Back to real life…
What’s been the highlight of the past week for you?
spit it out
A conversation from my last babysitting experience, just a few weeks ago:
::
Little Sister: There’s another word I can never say right.
Me: Oh yeah? Which one?
Little Sister: New International Virgin. You know, like the Bible?
Me: [laughing] Mmhmm…
Little Sister: [trying to sound it out] Virgin… Virgin… Virgin… See. I can’t say that word.
Slightly Older Sister: That’s what Mary was, right?
Me: Umm, yeah. So, whose turn is it on Wii Bowling?
::
What word(s) do you have a hard time saying?
simple truth
God is not absent.
Not distracted.
He sees.
He knows.
He cares.
And He
