can i say this out loud?
A recent read in Philippians ended with this note in my Bible’s margin: Constantly check the intentions and motives of my heart.
I’ve been wanting to lose weight for a while now. But it’s only since I got back from the States that I’ve been more intentional about it. Developing healthier eating habits, making wiser food choices, going for walks.
I’ve gotten into a habit of weighing myself several times a week. The fact that my scale weighs me in kilograms bothers me some. While I can use my trusty calculator to convert the number I see into pounds, when I initially look down at the scale, the number means absolutely nothing. But its position relative to the number that was there the last time I checked is enough to make me feel like I’m progressing on my “get healthier” journey.
Anyway, my scale-stepping became part of my morning routine. Not everyday. But a few mornings a week. So what does this have to do with Philippians and motives?
Well, you see… I was fasting for a while. And about halfway through, I caught myself stepping on the scale one morning and considering my progress. (Gasp!) “Consider the intentions of your heart,” I thought. When fasting became — even for that ever-so-brief moment — a step towards my weight-loss goal, my intentions were way off.
I literally moved the scale out of sight. I knew that if I continued to see it each morning as I stepped out of the shower, I was going to continue to be tempted to step on it. It took up residence with the dust bunnies under my claw-footed bathtub.
And I refocused my heart on what I was really aiming to accomplish with my fast.
Now when I see my dusty-edged scale, I’m reminded to check my motives. At least my mind will have something else to ponder as I try to figure out what the numbers on the scale mean.
Kitty- I so appreciated the vulnerability and transparency that went in to this post. Thank you for sharing your heart!!
I also smiled… because I have a draft post that I’ve been debating if I should publish… called I’m Downsizing… about my efforts to get healthy…because it is such a personal, intimate struggle. Well- you know…you’ve walked the road w/ me a few times now!!
I love you!!
In Spanish they have a term of endearment: gordita. Literally translated it means “dear fat one”. Does NOT help with the battle of the bulge.
I am there with you – the whole motives thing. Take up that cross daily. :-)
Keep up the good work. I know it might not make any difference, but from the pictures of you with the pigs you look fine to me. But you gotta do what you gotta do. :-)
Good stuff. I was babysitting Steph (Wiechmann/Tuott)’s girls today, and teaching one of them about checking heart motive. So important! Also … a VERY good point concerning health. Many people pursue ‘health’ for a multitude of reasons, few of which are actually health. Great job showing self control. :)
what honesty friend. and the important thing to remember is that it is hidden away in your non-frilly bathroom :)